Troy Parrott celebrates with Ireland teammates after the World Cup Qualifier win over Hungary at Puskas Arena in Budapest. Photo: Stephen McCarthy/Sportsfile
A is for Andy Farrell: “Dear Santa, all I want for Christmas is a new front row, a one-tonne scrum, a bomb squad if I’m extra good, and a solemn promise that I’ll never again to subjected to a match that involves either Rassie Erasmus or Matthew Carley. Speaking of which, please don’t send any more cards … ”
B is for Ben Stokes: “Greetings from a bunker Down Under. Can you please drop off a gift hamper at the MCG, but make sure it gets there before the end of day two or it might be too late. Preferably to include the following: a straight bat, a fake urn, a ‘Bazball’ obituary and a 12-inch remix of Ashes to Ashes.”