Sarah Ryan has waived her legal right to anonymity, saying she wants people to know what her former partner did because, she believes, silence protects abusers.
Nathan Grant McNulty (27) of Ballyogan Avenue, Carrickmines, Co Dublin was jailed for eight years last week for the rape and coercive control of Ms Ryan.
Ms Ryan said she is “still in shock” after a four-year legal battle.
The couple met in 2018 when Ms Ryan was just 20, and she said the relationship progressed very quickly. She became pregnant four weeks later, a point at which she said she felt “trapped”.
“The abuse and stuff started really quickly,” she said.
“About two weeks in, the controlling stuff started and the manipulation.
Sarah Wilson is embraced by family and friends after her rapist was jailed last Friday. Photo: Collins Court.
Today’s News in 90 Seconds – Wednesday, December 24th
“I think he got into my head and kind of brainwashed me really quickly,” she told Andrea Gilligan on Newstalk’s Lunchtime Live.
The couple were still together when Ms Ryan gave birth to their son Bobby, who is now six.
“He just had me under such fear and control that I just thought that that was my life and I had to just put up with it until maybe Bobby was 18 and I could leave then.”
She described the experience as constantly “walking on eggshells”.
“I was like a shell of myself.
“You didn’t know what was the right thing to say or do, and then you’re trying to prevent it by not annoying him or saying things that would make him freak out at you or get angry.”
Ms Ryan said McNulty was physically and verbally abusive, with a violent attack in February 2022 ultimately prompting her to end the relationship and seek help.
“He had attacked me really badly. I had bruises all over my face. He threw things. I had two black eyes. I had to go get x-rays.”
She described the day she left and applied for a protection order as “like something from a movie”.
“One of the mornings, I just got up and my mum used to collect Bobby to bring him to creche.
“And I used to go to work and it was like Nathan knew that something was going on because he actually followed me to work that day.
“And I was texting my mum saying, ‘Don’t text me, please.’
“I really thought that he was going to kill me. So I went into work and then he left.
“My mum came into my job and then we went to Dolphin House and got an emergency protection order.”
Ms Ryan credited Women’s Aid with helping her rebuild her life.
“They help with everything. They give you advice on where to go and what to do.
“I actually had a really nice lady that I still keep in contact with — her name is Lisa.
“She came to court with me. She helped me through everything, helped me with support and stuff like that.”
The court heard how McNulty raped Ms Ryan in March 2019.
The court also heard that McNulty coercively controlled her. He was physically and verbally abusive and threatened her.
In one incident, he told her, “I own you. I’m not joking, I own you.”
Reading her victim impact statement at an earlier sentence hearing, Ms Ryan said she felt “I was trapped in a nightmare from the very beginning”.
She said the beatings reached a point where she thought McNulty was going to kill her. She said she wished sometimes he would have killed her, as it would have meant an end to the suffering.
After the verdict, Ms Ryan issued a statement on the steps of the court urging other victims to seek help.
“For anyone listening who is living in fear, please know that help is available. Please reach out. You can escape. You can survive,” she said.
Helplines: If you have been affected by any of the issues raised in this article, click here for more information