If there’s one thing that fascinates the world more than a celebrity romance, it’s a celebrity split. And this week, the gossip mill went into overdrive with the news that Made In Chelsea alumni Millie Mackintosh and Hugo Taylor have called time on their seven-year marriage.
After the initial jolt that your favourite celebrity couple are no more (die-hard MIC fans were apparently genuinely devastated, convinced theirs was a match forged in perpetual Chelsea heaven), the attention inevitably shifts to the gory details in the heartbreak – mainly, who called it? And why?
Rumours have swirled regarding these possibilities, from questions surrounding Millie’s sexuality causing a serious rift, to lifestyle changes (Millie has been open about her struggles with alcohol abuse and subsequent soberness sobriety) and she was recently diagnosed with ADHD, which may have led to her re-evaluating lots of life choices.
Or maybe it was the seven-year itch and the mundanity that comes with rearing a family. After all, the couple, who share daughters Sienna, five, and Aurelia, four, are still in the trenches of early parenthood. The relentless demands of small, needy children can try even the most resilient of relationships – the sleep deprivation, the emotional labour, the quiet erosion of romance.
But as many people who have undergone a family split can attest, love doesn’t usually combust overnight. Marriages tend to unravel slowly, in a death by a thousand cuts.
All of the above is of course pure speculation which, let’s face it, is another human fascination, especially when it comes to seemingly picture-perfect relationships like Millie and Hugo’s.
And in an episode this week, on the Rise With Roxie podcast, Millie offered a telling insight into her decision to walk away from what many would see as a dream life.
Millie Mackintosh and Hugo Taylor on their wedding day
‘I feel like the last year has been really, really transformative,’ she told host Roxie Nafousi. ‘It’s been about stepping into who I am, really accepting myself, and putting stricter boundaries in place. Saying no to anything that doesn’t feel like it’s adding to my life, or anything that’s weighing me down or holding me back.’
I’ll admit: her words landed with a thud of recognition. Because Millie’s journey doesn’t just belong to her. It echoes loudly for so many women out there – and for me.
Because whether we want to admit it or not, something happens to many women when they tick (sometimes mindlessly) all the boxes of societal expectation – finding a partner, creating a dream home, having the babies, if they’re lucky enough or choose to, juggling work, motherhood, relationships, responsibility. Your inner voice, the one that you’ve tried to ignore for years (decades?!), simply won’t let up.
It’s the one who learned early how to people-please, be accommodating, self-critical (and often deeply, horribly anxious). That quiet hum of dissatisfaction gets stronger, so that every time you catch your reflection and feel time passing, the noise – mainly that question, is this it? – becomes intolerable.
Like Millie, it is highly likely my own sober curiosity journey jump-started an upending of my life back in 2020 when, after years of striving – the house, the dogs, the children, the outward markers of success – I just stopped, and at the age of 42, finally tried to figure it all out.
Similar to Millie, my marriage ended. There is no soft way to describe that experience. It is one of the most brutal things you can endure, and its aftershocks haunt me still. Being honest and true to yourself – possibly for the first time ever – is not a pretty process. It is messy, destabilising and lonely. And yet, it might also be the most necessary thing you ever do.
While this kind of life evaluation is not confined to females, it’s not a coincidence that it’s mainly women who initiate divorce. Lately, midlife marital reckoning has been given a name – menodivorce – referring to the rise in the number of splits initiated by women in their forties and beyond, often coinciding with a hormonal storm and possibly a sudden collapse of tolerance.
Again, I think that’s just one part of a very complex puzzle.
And yes, I’ve heard of (and know) many women in their thirties-plus who have finally plucked up the courage to explore their true sexuality, which may have been suppressed for years. I know plenty more who have no interest in finding romance of any kind, content with just living their best lives alone.
The idea of finding yourself and being authentic is not confined to the sage-wielding, breath-working world of wellness, which for good reason at times can induce an eye-roll. In fact, I would argue that finally heeding your internal alarm is less spiritual hokum and more basic upkeep.
So while it looks like women like Millie ‘blow up’ their lives – it’s simply this. They pause, look deeply, and ask themselves the hardest of questions.
Are men more likely to keep going, calling endurance happiness simply because it’s easier? Possibly. But when it comes to self-discovery, that iconic ’80s lyric comes to mind: ‘Welcome to your life; there’s no turning back.’ At the age of 36, Millie is finally getting to truly live hers.