How agreeable are you?

Partly for my job, I have to be as agreeable as possible. The role of being a diplomat is to have really great relationships that enable you to represent your country and to pursue the interests of your country. Also, working with a team where you want them to be confident, creative, and come up with great ideas, it serves to be agreeable. That doesn’t mean that I’m not tough when I need to be. This applies to parenting, as well, although I’d love my kids to be asked that question and see what they say.

What is your middle name and what do you think of it?

My middle name is Justine, and I look at it from a slight distance because it doesn’t quite feel like it’s “me”, if that makes sense. It doesn’t have a family connection; when she was younger, my mum was a fan of the writer Lawrence Durrell, whose 1957 novel, Justine, I remember being on our bookshelves. I wonder if that’s what inspired her.

Where is your favourite place in Ireland?

I love spending time in the area where my husband is from, just outside Ballinasloe. It’s a special place to me. I love the peace of it, the sound of the animals, and that it’s very green and has lots of fields. One particular part of Ireland I’d always go to is the sea road, effectively, that goes from Ballyvaughan to Galway. It’s one of the most beautiful stretches of road I’ve ever driven on. And at New Quay, there is a very chilled seafood restaurant that I love called Linnane’s Lobster Bar. On a sunny day, if I were going to teleport somewhere in Ireland for a couple of hours, it would be there.

Describe yourself in three words

Positive, determined, and – I’ve thought hard about this – a mummy. For people to really understand me, they should know how delighted I am to be a mother and a parent. So, yes, positive and determined, but being a mother and a parent is also a huge part of who I am.

When did you last get angry?

I’m not a very angry person. I don’t think it serves you at all, and it isn’t helpful as a leader, either. Injustice can make me cross when I think somebody’s been treated really unfairly, but on the whole, anger is a waste of emotion. I prefer to look at what’s next, what’s positive.

What have you lost that you would like to have back?

I lost my dad 16 years ago. He was a really big figure in my life. I’ve got two sisters, and my mum’s still around, but we always sense his absence, massively. I feel very lucky because he was a brilliant dad to his daughters. He noticed when we had new clothes, he was massively encouraging, and he never made me think that there was something I couldn’t do.

What is your strongest childhood memory?

I grew up in the countryside, in West Cumbria, on the edge of the Lake District, which is where I got my love of hillwalking, something that we always did as a family. Sometimes, my dad would take us to London, which was as far away from where I grew up as you could possibly imagine. We were a family of five, and my dad was a genius at finding things that were exciting for kids, but which cost little or no money. My memories of exploring London on the buses, going to amazing museums that would have had free admission at the time, eating my first-ever McDonald’s – you know, the kind of things we couldn’t get at home. Those are brilliant memories, and to this day, even though I’m a country girl by upbringing, I get a thrill of excitement every time I touch down in London. The diversity, the energy, the possibilities – I just think it’s a brilliant place.

Where do you come in your family’s birth order, and has this defined you?

I’m the middle of three girls, and I love having a big sister and a little sister, although the little one is definitely the boss. Sometimes I would forge alliances between the other two, with me being the one left out. But, no, I don’t think it defines me.

What do you expect to happen when you die?

I don’t think about it too much, but I feel comforted by any possibility of my parents reuniting. I’m conscious that even when you’ve lost somebody, they can continue to guide and help you. Because you’ve known them really well, you can sort of hear their voice, so it would be great if I could be around like that for my children.

[ ‘I’ve got an amazing múinteoir’: Kara Owen, the new British ambassador to IrelandOpens in new window ]

When were you happiest?

I’m happy now. I’m doing my dream job, and I feel incredibly lucky that I’ve finally got there. I’m fascinated by the relationship between the UK and Ireland. I like the culture here. My family’s happy, and I’ve brought my Irish husband back home.

Which actor would play you in a biopic about your life?

I want Sharon Horgan to play me because I think she is such a genius. I think Jessie Buckley is phenomenal, too, and also Eve Hewson. I’ve seen them play parts that have got real spirit and resilience, and I admire the characters they’ve played and the way they’ve done it. It doesn’t matter about facial similarities because I can’t think of any actor who looks like me.

What is your biggest career/personal regret?

I try not to have them. My dad used to say that you shouldn’t have regrets about any choices you’ve made because you make the best decision you can at the time with the information you’ve got. Every job I’ve done, I’ve got a huge amount out of, and I’ve loved every country I’ve lived in. Personally, as well, I’ve always tried to make the best choices I can.

Have you any psychological quirks?

Definitely. I get an unusual kick from hard work, and the more challenging something is, the more I love it. There’s a flip side to this related to what I said about tenacity or being determined, in that sometimes there’s a point when you should accept that the chances of getting something over the line aren’t worth the effort any more. Having fun at work is also very important to me. Throughout my career, I’ve loved the fizz of being around brilliant people. One of the first things I told the team on arrival in Dublin is we should always be up for fun and never take ourselves too seriously, including me. I also go crazy without exercise – the wheels fall off without it – and it energises me. I’m quite sentimental about objects, as well. If somebody I love gave me something and I lost it, I’d be very sad about it, more about the loss than the value. Agus bíonn cupán tae ag teastáil uaim i gcónaí … I’m convinced it helps me think better!

In conversation with Tony Clayton-Lea