Johnny and Ted are back again, this time for their senior years. Even though the identity of the Ted franchise is still confined in the 2013 movie (and its underwhelming sequel, which came two years later), the prequel show is where it really came of age. Season 1 was nothing like the movies, while still being funny and, most importantly, socially relevant. Seth MacFarlane used the nineties setup to tell a very “woke” story that revitalized the whole nineties comedy template. That happened mainly because of the character of Blaire Bennet, Johnny’s older cousin, who almost played the antithesis of Johnny’s father Matty, a stereotypical White American man with all the vices you’d expect: racism, sexism, and homophobia.
While Blaire remains an integral part in season 2, the show has changed its structure by adapting into a more rounded, different story per episode format. The tone it set during the first season is still there, but the influence of the movies is also visible. I suppose Ted the puritan was not a fan of season 1, and MacFarlane had to find a balance. The result is an eight-episode season that oscillates between hot and cold. I’m going to approach this article just like the show did, episode by episode.
Spoiler Alert
Why does Blaire hate Bernie?
The moment you see Blaire’s father and Matty’s elder brother, Bernie, you know why Blaire hates him. The guy is an alcoholic who constantly bullies Matty by physically assaulting him, he makes Matty seem like a saint. Despite all that, he wants to make amends with Blaire as he requests her to return home, but you realize that’s also for a selfish reason: Blaire’s mother has left him, and Bernie hopes the return of Blaire might bring her back. Obviously, Bernie can’t handle things alone, so he needs Blaire, but when Blaire objects to his bullying of Matty by throwing a hotpot at him, which she claims to be a “joke” in a very tit-for-tat manner. Bernie folds and shows his true colors by canceling the invite. Thankfully for everyone, that’s the last of Bernie we see.
Meanwhile, Ted and Johnny find an adult hotline and call the number from a phone they find in the basement of their school. They happily go about their business until the school decides to block the number upon receiving a huge bill. An investigator, Lawrence, is brought to find out who did it, and despite him being onto Johnny and the bear from the start, they manage to fool him by inventing a fake student out of thin air. Honestly, this bit of the episode is pretty lame and doesn’t quite work beyond yielding a few chuckles.
What’s up with Mrs. Robochek?
Ted gets the comedic mojo back in episode 2, as bored married woman Mrs. Robochek seduces the teddy bear, and he ends up developing feelings for her. Meanwhile, Matty develops this strange fixation over the sewage line of the Robochek house being outside of the city. It reaches the level where he is unable to perform in bed, leading to him having a full-blown crisis. That obviously makes Susan concerned, and upon learning there’s nothing wrong with Matty, at least physically, she starts looking into kinks, mainly exhibitionism.
When Mr. Robochek finds out about his wife’s affair, he first gets mad, before realizing it’s his lack of attention and interest in her that has caused this situation. Just when he’s about to catch Ted in the house, that too strapped with an adult toy, Ted escapes, and all Mr. Robochek sees is the car. The car belongs to Matty, so Mr. Robochek knocks at the Bennets’ door and requests Matty to teach him “how to do it.” That gives Matty his confidence back, and when he approaches Susan, she instantly comes on board. When Mr. Robochek sees the couple performing, he doesn’t get the hype. Mrs. Robochek, however, decides to fix her marriage and breaks Ted’s heart.
Stoners and Teddy Bears
Did you expect a D&D-themed episode in Season 2? Probably not. But you get one anyway. Not much to say about this episode; our boys and Blaire have run out of marijuana, and they’ve to play a game of Dungeons and Dragons with this guy, Chris, in order to get some. What’s the twist? Susan and Matty join in, as Susan is trying to save Johnny from “drugs” by getting more involved in his life. Instead of keeping things limited to the Bennet house basement where the game is played, MacFarlane goes wild by imagining the whole scenario, with our main characters in costume and all. The highlight of this is Johnny realizing they haven’t done anything as a family for a long time. Also, Susan, despite getting to be a fighter, beats this final boss demon with her goodness. All that said, the takeaway joke from this episode is Ted imagining about the world of D&D being real and them being a game in it instead.
Matty’s “Pretty Woman” moment
Easily the best forty minutes this season of ‘Ted’ has to offer, episode 4 has a lot going on, and it delivers on every front. First, it’s Blaire’s birthday, and she is having a party at the Bennet house. Unfortunately for her, she shares her birthday with Ronald Reagan, and thanks to Matty’s insistence, her cake every year also bears Reagan’s name. Matty is a bit much in this episode, trying his best to hide his emotions inside because that’s what “men” (like him) do. What he fails to see is how alone Susan feels, or has been feeling for a long time, because of him not showing any feelings.
Blaire’s birthday party is a hit, but she has a falling out with Sarah as the latter promised to disclose their relationship to her parents, but she fails to deliver on that promise. Naturally, Blaire is frustrated, and she takes it out on Sarah, who leaves. While Ted sneaks into the party just to pick up some beers for him and Johnny, he ends up comforting Blaire, and Blaire ends up drunkenly making out with him. Both are filled with remorse the next morning, and Ted has no choice but to feed Johnny this fake story of having a wild night with their neighbor, Mrs. Fetchko. Johnny, riding high on testosterone, pleads with Ted to hook him up with a friend of Fetchko. Ted goes ahead, and this ends with the bear and Johnny going on (what Johnny thinks is) a double date. Needless to say, it’s a dud.
Meanwhile, Blaire comes clean to Sarah, who breaks up with her. A heartbroken Blaire takes comfort in chick flicks, while Susan develops a taste for alcohol. That throws Matty off, and leaves him unable to watch the hockey game in his room; he ends up watching “Pretty Woman” with Blaire, which moves him so much. But he still hides it until he gets caught by his niece secretly watching and crying over “Ghost.” Thanks to Blaire putting some sense in her uncle, Matty pulls off a “Pretty Woman” gesture for Susan by climbing up a ladder with a flower bouquet in hand, processing his love. Sadly, he falls and gets injured and (jokingly) vows to never show feelings again.
Bill Clinton has done a bad job
Episode 5 can be summed up pretty easily: Bill Clinton proves what a terrible president he is while Johnny ruins his chances with the most popular girl in school. To deal with their financial situation, both Matty and Susan take a gig at a local Dunkin’ Donuts outlet. Incidentally, the POTUS, Bill Clinton, pays a scheduled visit to that outlet, and Matty, clearly not a fan of Clinton, ends up telling the president that he’s not doing a good job. Clinton acts nice in front of the reporters, but then when nobody is looking, he lashes out at Matty, proving how terrible he really is.
In the other significant but separate arc, Johnny and Ted audition for a play, mainly to get attention from Erin, who’s way out of Johnny’s league. But Johnny manages to charm Erin, who pretty much asks him out on a date. He is obviously elated, but on the day of the play, Johnny and Ted make mockery of themselves on stage after consuming a shroom-infused brownie Blaire gave them. It’s not Blaire’s fault, though, as she herself didn’t know about it before, but by the time she calls to warn the boys, it’s too late already. And to think Johnny and Ted did all this because Johnny was anxious about being on stage! Needless to say, the date, which was supposed to happen after the play, goes down the drain as Erin blasts both Johnny and Ted before storming off!
Why does Blaire abort her pregnancy?
While this episode doesn’t offer much of an original story, the abortion drama theme is handled so well. Blaire gets to take center stage in this episode; she is pregnant from a one-night stand post her breakup. This is something she was not at all expecting, and it’s a no-brainer she wants to abort the baby (technically a fetus, as she corrects Matty and Susan). Unsurprisingly, her uncle and aunt are strongly against the abortion, but while Matty tries to enforce his beliefs on Blaire, Susan has no problem letting her niece make her own decision, despite her not being okay with it. As you’d expect, Matty does a “Matty” by forcefully bringing this guy, Namit, who’s supposed to be the father of the baby, only to realize he has got the wrong guy. Matty and Susan then try to do matchmaking between Namit and Blaire, who appears to be a nice boy saving “himself” for marriage. Is it even a surprise that Namit gets instantly critical about Blaire’s life choices?
How do Johnny and Ted fit into all of this? Despite making jokes and casually waltzing around the situation, these two come good for Blaire when they steal from a vending machine to get Blaire the money for an abortion. And when Susan refuses to go with Blaire, Johnny and Ted decide to accompany her. They even distract the anti-abortion protestors outside the abortion clinic so that Blaire can get inside safely. Naturally, they have to take a beating from the angry protestors, and Blaire can’t thank them enough.
Why does Susan go to prison?
Johnny is no dimwit, but we wouldn’t call him particularly intelligent either, right? Because why else would he get high with Ted and get in his mother’s car? Clearly an error of judgment, but Susan pays dearly for it as she takes the blame herself when police catch the car. As a result, Susan is sentenced to ten days in prison. That’s how MacFarlane sets up his “Orange is the New Black” parody episode, which is even called “Susan is the New Black.” The idea might sound interesting on paper, but it doesn’t actually work. Matters inside the prison are solved way too easily thanks to Susan’s goodness. And at the Bennets’ household, the men, Johnny, Ted, and Matty, all finally understand the value of a “homemaker,” which Susan is. Blaire does bring it up at the very beginning of the episode, like how these three never appreciate Susan for all she does, and the episode circles back to it by the end.
What happens when Matty finds out about “the truth”?
By “truth,” I mean the OJ Simpson verdict. Matty obviously thought OJ would be found guilty, but things didn’t go his way. Meanwhile, he has a heart attack after going berserk on Johnny for being irresponsible even after his high school graduation. Matty recovers, but the doctor tells the family that he will be in deep trouble if he gets agitated about anything. So Johnny and co. cut the cable and conjure up a whole new newspaper for a week, circling around a fake OJ verdict where he was found guilty, just like Matty predicted. But Matty can’t go long without TV, so they even hire a guy to play the fake cable guy, the fake newscaster, and even the fake weather woman. This last one is the guy doing a bit extra out of his own interest, though, and it’s quite hilarious. Matty does know the truth in the end, from Blaire, and while he does end up in the hospital again, he appears fine overall. Instead of being sad about the OJ verdict not going his way, Matty is more proud of what Johnny has done for him over the last week. This only proves Johnny is a worthy son of a workman like him. That’s where “Ted” season 2 concludes, and going by the narration in the end, where they mention the two movies, it doesn’t seem we will be getting another season. But Seth MacFarlane can always prove me wrong.
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