Spencer Matthews has said he believes wife Vogue Williams ‘would have left’ him if he had carried on with his boozy lifestyle.
The reality TV star, 37, who previously admitted he ‘could have died’ at the height of his drinking, said there use to be a ‘divide in their relationship’ when he used to drink, saying he felt she used to be ‘disappointed’ in me.
Spencer and Vogue tied the knot in 2018 while Vogue was pregnant with their first child, Theodore, who is now seven years old. The couple are also parents to Gigi, 5, and three-year-old Otto.
Spencer Matthews and Vogue Williams at Glen Affric Estate. Pic: Spencer Matthews/Instagram
But speaking on the On the Mend with Matt Willis podcast, the father-of-three said: ‘I was very aware that if I carried on with my drinking and bad habits, that she would get bored, and she would leave me. And I knew that, and she never made that a thing.
‘She never sat me down and gave me some kind of ultimatum or anything like that. But I could feel it. I could feel that she was a bit disappointed in me.
‘And yes, I think the light was shone on my boozing when she fell pregnant with our firstborn, Theodore. He made a big difference, I think, to our relationship, obviously, because I think what felt like joint fun became solo fun quite quickly because, obviously, she stopped drinking completely.
‘And I just didn’t, I carried on, and it created this kind of divide in the relationship, but also made me realise, you know, maybe my drinking habits are not normal.’
Vogue Williams and Spencer Matthews with their kids. Pic: Instagram
Spencer recalled the ‘moment of clarity’ he had to ditch the booze.
He said: ‘I had a moment of clarity when I was drinking on my own at night if Vogue wasn’t around. All of a sudden I was going to bed drunk.
‘One night, when I was alone, I had a bottle of whiskey and struggled to get myself to bed. I was hammered drunk. I remember waking up the next day and I thought, “I don’t need this in my life.”
‘If I wasn’t married to someone who didn’t have a great relationship with alcohol, as in you don’t really like it, then my journey would have been more difficult.’
He continued: ‘It’s not like I just fancied giving up drinking. I could have lost you, I could have lost work, I could have died – not to be overly dramatic about it, but that’s the way it was heading.’