I will never forget the time I was chatting with a colleague about a big promotion they had received. It had been about a year, and I asked how it was going. Their response was not what I was expecting: “I made that classic mistake. I leveled up one level too many.” It was clear in that moment that they wished they could step back down to where they had been, or maybe even take a half step back, but they didn’t know how to ask for it or to say it out loud, because by doing so, they would admit to some kind of professional failure.
In other instances, I’ve watched colleagues take on more responsibility when they already had too much on their plates because they did not know how to say no, and their managers weren’t willing to do that work for them. In my experience, managers will assume that if someone says yes, that means they can handle it. Meanwhile, they’ve already gone well past the point of burnout.
Most of us have been taught from an early age that a good career path has an upward trajectory, resulting in higher levels of responsibility and rewards, both financial and otherwise. The frontline employee should move into middle and then upper management, eventually reaching the executive suite before transitioning into retirement. But the reality is, not all of us are cut out for management. And most of us, at one point or another, will simply want less. But how do you ask for that when our system and structure reward ambition and drive over all?
Shifting Definitions of Career
Career paths have changed a lot over the years, as individuals discover increased options to move between roles, organizations, and industries, and employers pull back from professional development and succession planning that used to be the hallmarks of career employees. The “company man” (Englehard, 1982) is out; boundaryless careers (Eby et al., 2003) and side hustles are in (Sessions et al., 2021).
While there is much to dislike about the dated, gendered notions of the company man persona, there was something comforting in knowing that one could join an organization and have a steady, predictable climb over the ensuing decades. Although there is freedom in creating one’s own path, it comes with enormous individual responsibility to figure out the next right step on one’s own. Work has, in fact, become a hustle. And that, in itself, can be exhausting.
Ambition, Identity, and Work
For a long time, work has served as an element of individual identity (Gini, 1998). We measure our own and others’ worth by their work, including title, organization, and industry. The cult of “busyness” hasn’t disappeared (Rosseinsky, 2024). And both organizations and individuals put a high priority on ambition. You’re supposed to want more: more responsibility, more authority, and yes, more rewards for doing more work. There’s a reason the saying “I’ll sleep when I’m dead” entered the cultural lexicon.
But what is the price for all of this work? And, who benefits from our tireless labor? Generally speaking, it’s not the individual, it’s the organization. We’ve all heard some version of the saying, “If I got hit by a bus tomorrow, this place would have my job description posted the next day.” Harsh, but unfortunately true. Work doesn’t, and won’t love you back, because work is just work.
Unfortunately, the solution to all this overwork resides at the structural and systemic level, and the structure and the system have no motivation to change what’s working. This brings it back to the individual. What should you do if you find yourself needing to take a step back from all this work?
How to Ask for a Step Back
There can be many reasons for wanting less professionally. You might be in a season that requires more attention to your personal life. You might have taken a promotion and discovered that the additional responsibility doesn’t align with your strengths or interests. You might be considering a career or role pivot and want to acquire additional education or training to prepare for that move. You might just have too much on your plate, feel close to burnout, and need to take on less work.
Whatever the reason, get clear on the “why” behind it before you have the conversation with your manager about this next step. Just as you would come to a conversation about a promotion with data and a clear argument for why you deserve it, you need to approach a conversation about a demotion the same way.
Once you’re clear on the why, take some time to reflect on how you feel about this move, and what the real-life impacts will be for you and others who may depend on you. Will you have to take a pay cut? Will you be cut off from future opportunities? How will your identity and sense of self-worth change?
As much as possible, work out a strategic plan to bring with you to the conversation. If you take a step back, will others have to step up to fill in the gaps? How will that work, and what will be the ramifications? How will this change need to be communicated? The easier you can make this transition for your manager, the more likely they will be to say yes.
Remember that a step back doesn’t have to mean a permanent step away. We’re all working to the edge of burnout right now, and sometimes we need time to rest to come back refreshed. It could be that, for you, having that time away will allow you to see your next steps with greater clarity and be able to achieve them with more confidence.
Recognize that just because you want something, it doesn’t mean you get to have it. It could be that your manager does not have the time or capacity to consider your request, because it will mean more work for them. The answer may be a flat “no.” At that point, you should return to your why and decide whether you can continue in your current role, at your current level, if nothing changes.
And if not, remember. Your career path belongs to no one but yourself, and you are allowed to make the changes you need to have the life you want. Your work may benefit the organization, but your worth is so much more than that.