Pay Dirt is Slate’s money advice column. Have a question? Send it to Kristin and Ilyce here. (It’s anonymous!)

Dear Pay Dirt,

I’m 23 and for the last year, I’ve been working at a job with truly ridiculously amazing retirement benefits. However, even with that, I have co-workers who have been working here with the same or better benefits for decades who claim that even with this support, they’re not going to be able to retire. If they don’t have a chance after many years of building a nest egg, what chance do I have with the way the economy is going?

It’s kind of gotten to the point where I’m trying to do the same thing I did with buying a house: deciding that it’s definitely not in the cards for me in order to free up my finances (and stress levels—deciding to embrace the fact my generation can never own a house has been weirdly freeing). Except, unlike the liquid savings that might have gone toward a down payment, retirement contributions are not something I can just pull on for other things. If I’m never going to retire, it feels useless to be investing in it when I could be using those funds for quality of life things like the doctors appointments I’ve been meaning to make but haven’t out of anxiety for the cost and having to deal with my insurance. Or getting something fun I guess. I’m 23, I’m supposed to be financially irresponsible, not worrying about this sort of stuff.

—Young and Wants to Retire

Dear Young and Wants to Retire,

Oh, my. Stop listening to your co-workers! You’re 23 and likely at a very different stage of life from them. Maybe they already have homes, spouses, kids, and all kinds of debt (credit card, auto, student, and personal) that make life expensive. Maybe they don’t know how to budget and save or their partner doesn’t, and it’s a constant source of aggravation. Maybe they’re stuck with this job because someone is sick and they need the amazing benefits your employer provides. Or, maybe they just like to complain.

In any case, ruling out life’s financial milestones (marriage, buying a home, having a family, and ultimately retiring) because you’re listening to them is silly. You’re 23 and have at least 40 to 50 years to let the money you set aside for retirement compound. Trust me: Put away as much as you can in the next few years and you’ll have plenty for retirement.

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Now, let’s talk about homeownership. I know it’s rough out there: homes are expensive and as I write this, mortgage interest rates are creeping back into the 7 percent range. But renting is expensive, too. I’d rather buy something smaller and lock in my expenses than keep throwing money away. The trick here is to be thoughtful and strategic: Wait to buy until you know where you want to live for at least 5 to 10 years. Save up for your down payment (it can be as little as 3 percent) and find yourself a good real estate agent who has plenty of experience working with first-time buyers. (I know a good book you can read!)

But the best thing you can do with your money is see a doctor. My guess is your employer has good health insurance that will cover an annual check-up. Even if you have a co-pay, it’s worth it to make sure your health issues are in check.

Finally, I don’t know who told you being 23 was the year of financial irresponsibility. I think you sound smart and savvy, so trust your instincts and keep saving. The best thing money can do is give you options and opportunities. You’ve got a lot of both in your future.

—Ilyce

Classic Prudie

I am a 50-year-old married woman who’s been married for 30 years to the father of my four children. We were both raised to believe women should be modest and have no sexual urges, so we’ve always had sex on a fairly fixed schedule (every third day, no physical contact during menstruation). My husband is very attentive, makes certain that I orgasm, and has never hurt me. I never thought anything was unusual until my 20-year-old daughter came home from college deeply troubled about being “asexual.” As she confided in me and we have been reading together, I realized that I am asexual also.

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