The holiday season typically brings plenty of cheer, but it can also bring with it a heavy dose of financial stress.

Just ask Dale from Missouri, who recently called into The Ramsey Show with a holiday headache (1). His wife loves Christmas traditions, but many of them involve gift giving, which results in them spending between $6,000 and $7,000 a year.

Dale is wondering if the “tradition” has gone too far.

Here’s how Dave Ramsey says he can inject “a little touch of common sense” into their holiday tradition.

Many Americans have grown up cherishing Christmas as a time for family and giving. But what is the cost for all of the tradition and glowing memories?

That’s how Dale sees his situation. While his wife loves the tradition, he feels stressed by the spending.

Along with buying regular gifts for each member of his wife’s family, Dale says they have a yearly tradition of buying children’s books and stocking stuffers for everyone, which costs about $3,000. He believes the books are a “waste” since they look at them briefly and then put them aside.

Dale says his household income is around $200,000. Ramsey calculated that the book-stocking tradition takes up about 1.5% of Dale and his wife’s income, so the issue is more about clear communication, as well as knowing their finances well enough not to feel the pinch around Christmas.

“This thing has continued to go on, and frankly, some of it doesn’t even make sense,” Ramsey said.

“But, at least, you need to understand from her why this is $3,000 worth of important.”

It’s a classic financial clash: the heart versus the numbers.

And Dale isn’t alone because, across the country people are spending and feeling the pinch around the holidays:

Core retail sales rose 4% in the 2024 holiday season to a record $994.1 billion, according to the National Retail Federation (2), with average spend for 2025 predicted to be the second-highest on record, at $890.49, compared to $901.99 last year (3).

36% of Americans took on debt during last year’s holiday season, with the average balance being $1,181, according to LendingTree (4).

20% of U.S. adults reported they thought it would be May 2025 or later before they’d recover from holiday spending in 2024, and a whopping 73% said that financial stress steals the joy from the season, according to a survey by Achieve (5).

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“Speaking of Santa, he says to make a list and check it twice,” Ramsey said. Meaning that Dale should be making a Christmas budget, putting a dollar amount beside each person’s name, totaling it up and setting the money aside, now.

Read more: Are you richer than you think? Here are 5 clear signs you’re punching way above the average American’s wealth

From “buy now, pay later” offers to sky-high credit card interest, consumers are finding it too easy to overextend themselves in December.

That generosity hangover can last and erode savings, delay home projects and even push retirement contributions off the calendar.

In Dale’s case, his wife’s heart is in the right place, but the spending scale is starting to feel unsustainable. Here’s how he and anyone in a similar situation can approach it:

Ramsey told Dale it’s important to “talk it through” and agree upon a budget as a couple, and then stick to that budget, something Dale admitted he and his wife are not good at.

“You’re choosing to pick on the one thing you can pick on, while the whole thing is out of control,” Ramsey said.

“Let’s get the whole thing in control. We can use this as a jumping off point for the discussion [about] that.”

Dale should start the conversation about setting a holiday budget with kindness, letting his wife know that he loves her giving nature and how much joy she brings to others, but he’s also worried about the financial strain and how it impacts them as a couple. He can keep the conversation focused on shared values instead of bringing blame.

If trimming back feels like a loss, maybe it’s time to rethink the traditions. It could be time to ask, “Who still really expects gifts?” Maybe adult kids get one shared family present instead of individual ones. Keep the heart, ditch the excess.

Or, it could be a great time for a new tradition, like choosing names and only buying for one person, as Ramsey said he’s done with his own family to “just calm things down.” Each individual receives a more thoughtful gift and the wallet can breathe a sigh of relief.

Come January, check in: Did the joy outweigh the stress? Did the budget hold up? Learning from one season can help you to set healthier traditions and expectations for the next season.

When both partners are part of the decision, the budget becomes a shared project, not a battleground. The secret is balance, to keep the spirit of giving alive without letting debt steal the joy from the season.

Traditions can be a wonderful way to create lifelong memories, but if they’re forcing you to spend beyond your means and leaving you with January debt and regret, it’s time for a reset.

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The Ramsey Show (1); National Retail Federation (2), (3); LendingTree (4); Achieve (5)

This article originally appeared on Moneywise.com under the title: Missouri man’s wife insists on spending thousands on gifts every Christmas. How Dave Ramsey says to ‘calm things down’

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