NEED TO KNOW
A man took in his grieving mother-in-law and brother-in-law after his father-in-law passed away
He later discovered his mother-in-law planned to leave all her inheritance to her son
When he told his wife they should move out, she accused him of caring only about money
A man turned to the Reddit community for advice after a family rift unfolded when his mother-in-law revealed she would be leaving all of her money to her son — and none to her daughter or son-in-law.
The man, 32, shared that what began as an act of kindness had quickly turned into tension that now threatened his home life.
“My father-in-law recently passed and left a very sizable life insurance policy to his son and wife,” he wrote. “My wife received nothing.”
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Stock photo of in-laws with couple
He explained that he and his wife, 30, understood at first because her younger brother, 27, still lived at home and was seen as less independent. “He never goes out and only goes to work, and back home to play video games all day,” the man wrote.
After the loss, both his mother-in-law, who is in her late 50s, and brother-in-law moved into the couple’s home. “They were too distraught to continue living in the home my father-in-law passed in,” he explained. “My father-in-law was truly the only adult in the home and was responsible for taking care of everything.”
The husband shared that his late father-in-law had been the family’s driver and caretaker, even taking his wife to and from work every day. “That responsibility has now been passed onto my wife,” he explained. “I have since taken over the estate planning, such as paying bills, swapping over policies, etc.”
Since his mother-in-law doesn’t speak English and doesn’t drive, he felt it was right to step up. “As family it was my pleasure to take on this responsibility,” he wrote. “After a month and a half I finally settled all the bills, funeral planning, and all the heavy lifting — without me, the family would be lost.”
The man added that his mother-in-law and brother-in-law had little financial awareness. “Both do not have any retirement plans or savings,” he said. “I suggested a shared bank account for my wife and her mom to put the payout into, where it would accrue interest but also pay off bills every month.”
That’s when the tone of the story shifted. “It was at this point my mother-in-law says she would rather not have her daughter on the account and wants to give her portion of the payout to her son,” he wrote. “She says this because since me and my wife have a home, that it would be better used on her brother.”
The man said he was shocked and disappointed, noting that the couple wasn’t wealthy and had opened their home to help. “Them moving in would help us out financially as there would be extra income from them paying rent,” he said. “Leaving everything to him would be incredibly irresponsible because he cannot do anything for himself and cannot be trusted with the money.”
He shared that his brother-in-law lacked basic life skills. “He does not have a driver’s license but drives a car to and from work,” the man explained. “He never helped with the estate, and I learned that he has a large amount of cash in his checking account.”
When the man asked him about it, his brother-in-law seemed confused. “He told me he just had no idea what to do with it and has no concept of retirement planning,” the post continued. “Since his parents took care of all the bills, all he did was pay some of the mortgage, go to work, and then go home to play video games.”
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Stock photo of a couple arguing
Despite these frustrations, the husband described his brother-in-law as kindhearted. “He’s not a bad guy, in fact he is a great friend,” he said. “But he just doesn’t ever seem like he will grow up to be a responsible person.”
The man explained that his wife has given up a lot for her family. “She was there when her mom had breast cancer and took her to and from every single appointment,” he wrote. “She used all her vacation and sick days to help during that time.”
After learning about the inheritance decision, the man finally reached his breaking point. “I told my wife that after agreeing to take them in and have them live with us, that it would be a slap in the face to be left nothing,” he said. “So I told her that her mother and brother should move back to their home and use the money from the payout to help them live with the absence of my father-in-law.”
His wife didn’t take that well. “She was furious with me and said all I care about is money,” he recalled. “Even though I feel that this is not so much about money, but that there is a complete lack of respect being shown for all the help we have and will be giving.”
In an edit, the man clarified that his mother-in-law and brother-in-law weren’t being asked to leave without options. “Their plan for their family home would be to rent it out,” he wrote. “They purchased it before interest rates went up and would be set to make $1,000 cash profit every month from it.”
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Stock photo of mother-in-law arguing with couple
He also added that when they first took them in, they had no idea there was a life insurance policy at all. “We didn’t even know about any life insurance policy when we took them in,” he said. “It was only after very extensive digging through his records that I found out there was such a policy.”
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The husband further explained that his wife worried her family couldn’t manage alone due to communication barriers. “Her mom only speaks Spanish and her brother only speaks English,” he shared. “He would be unable to have in-depth conversations about any planning, so I have been serving as a bridge — albeit without any input from the brother.”
When asked by a commenter why his brother-in-law didn’t just get a driver’s license, the man responded that his late father had always handled everything for him. “He had insurance under his dad’s name,” he explained. “My wife mentioned he had learning difficulties in school, and it seems the test portion of the license is what has prevented him from getting one.”
The man ended his post by turning to the community for judgment. “I feel that this isn’t about money, it’s about respect and fairness — but maybe I’m wrong.”
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