Presenter Fearne Cotton has revealed she felt overwhelming ‘shame’ when the horrific crimes of paedophile Ian Watkins were reported while she was on air at BBC Radio 1.
Cotton briefly dated Watkins around 2005, at the height of his fame with Lostprophets, before any of his depraved behaviour was known.
Watkins was later jailed for 13 child sexual offences, including conspiring to rape an 11-month-old baby. He was stabbed to death in prison last October.
Fearne Cotton. Pic: Dave Benett/Getty Images
In her new book, Likeable, 44-year-old Cotton reflects on the pressures of fame and her need to please during her 20s and 30s.
She writes about the particularly difficult period when Watkins’ crimes came to light, describing how reporting the news on her own radio show left her feeling helpless and weighed down with shame.
While she does not name Watkins in the book, Cotton recalls working on air during a ‘horrible news story that doesn’t involve me yet has a tenuous and life-altering link to me,’ which left her struggling to maintain her composure.
Ian Watkins and Fearne Cotton in 2004. Pic: Shutterstock
She reportedly felt sick on air, attempting to push down the anger, sorrow, and tears while presenting.
‘I feel simultaneously glared at, stared at, yet utterly ignored by those in the office. Are they all talking about me behind my back? Or am I a narcissist for thinking that?’ she writes, according to The Mirror.
Cotton says she eventually came to understand that the shame she carried ‘belongs to others,’ specifically, men who had mistreated her or left her to bear it, and that therapy helped her release it.
Ian Watkins. Pic: South Wales Police
Reflecting on her time at Radio 1 more broadly, she admits the scrutiny she faced on social media and in the office changed her personality.
‘I stopped trying to be funny, I limited how much of myself I gave away, I diluted my personality to a weak imitation of the person I used to be. And then I quit,’ she writes.
Cotton left Radio 1 in 2015 to focus on her mental health, later pursuing other media projects.
She split from husband Jesse Wood in December 2025, with whom she shares two children, Rex, 13, and Honey, 10. Around the same time, she underwent surgery to remove two benign tumours from her jaw.