The ripe old age of six was when the decision was made: I wanted to play rugby for Ireland. Without even knowing there was an international women’s team, and having no idea what was involved to reach that level, I set my sights on wearing the green jersey.
It was my parents who proved my dream could be a reality. After eventually letting me join the boys’ team in Gorey, where my brothers played, following quite a bit of pestering on my part, they started bringing me to Ireland women’s games once my interest in rugby became clear. We’d set off from Wexford to see their home games, usually in Ashbourne or Donnybrook, and the atmosphere was always incredible. Those games were a chance for me to see my heroes – Ireland’s Grand Slam Class of 2013 – in action.
On my 10th birthday, the best gift imaginable arrived: a framed Ireland jersey signed by the entire team. It has hung in pride of place above my bed ever since, a constant reminder of my goal, but now it’s alongside a framed Ireland jersey of my own.
What Little Aoife didn’t anticipate was just how special it feels to represent your country. My first cap came in a win over Italy in the 2022 Six Nations, and – as is the tradition for players making their debut – I treated the squad and some late hangers-on from the crowd at Musgrave Park to a rousing rendition of Miley Cyrus’s Party in the USA. Getting to line out for your country and be part of days like that is a privilege. If you could bottle that feeling, you’d be a millionaire.
It helps that we have a close squad. We say we want to be the most connected team in the world. That’s hard to quantify, but a big part of it is being honest and open with each other. We all share our personal “whys” – why we play rugby, what we want to achieve – and it’s extra motivation to give that bit more for the team and your team-mates. They know your why, and they want to help you achieve it, and you want to help them achieve their whys in return.
And some days it all comes together. Beating New Zealand in the WXV1 in 2024 was one of those days. Before the game, if you read the papers or listened to pundits we were written off. We’d gone from WXV3 in 2023 to the top tier that season, so most people thought we were going to get absolutely pummelled in our group. We just drowned it all out. The Black Ferns were world champions at that point, so we had to pay them the respect they deserved, but we had belief in ourselves and we knew what we were capable of. When Dannah O’Brien kicked the ball out for the final whistle (to win 29-27), it was one of those moments when you realise how far we’d come as a team. It’s the stuff you dream of when you’re a six-year-old chucking a ball around in Gorey.
After the win, I was on a panel with Brian O’Driscoll, and he asked, “So, what’s it like to beat New Zealand?” He’s one of the greats of Irish rugby, so him asking that question really hammered home how special the result was. Our lineout coach always used to say, with those kinds of wins, it’s a feeling that no credit card can buy. It’s something that you can’t hold, but it stays with you.
But not all results go your way. Our season ended last year with a World Cup quarter-final loss to France. A knee injury kept me out of the pool games, but the girls were phenomenal, they just kept building through the tournament. Come the quarter-final, I was ready and eager to fulfil a childhood dream of playing at a World Cup. We were trailing 18-13 as the clock ticked towards full-time, but even up to the 80th minute we still believed we could do it. We had a lineout and fully believed we were going to score off the back of the maul and win it, or push the game to extra time, but it just didn’t happen for us. We were heartbroken.
The following day, you’re back home in Ireland. You lose a game, and then it’s, “Okay, see you in four years’ time.” That’s the reality of sport, it’s cruel. You don’t always get what you want and you don’t always get what you deserve.
Aoife Wafer after the Ireland vs Scotland game during the 2024 Guinness Women’s Six Nations Championship. Photograph: Ben Brady/Inpho
But you have to keep looking forward. Moving to Harlequins, having signed for them last summer, was a good distraction after the World Cup disappointment. It was a difficult decision to leave my contract in Ireland and the set-ups I’d been part of for so long, but the girls at ’Quins really rallied around me. The first few weeks were tough because everything felt so new, but now, having made my debut for the club in December, London has started to really feel like home.
Six-year-old Aoife said she wanted to be the best player in the world. It’s probably something you can’t tangibly achieve, but by chasing that standard I’m striving to be the best version of myself. I want to help push Ireland on, to be part of days that will be remembered for years to come, and when it comes time for me to bow out, that my name will be up there with the Irish greats.
[ Ireland’s Aoife Wafer: ‘Ultimately, I want to be the best in the world’Opens in new window ]
In conversation with Muireann Duffy. This interview, part of a series about well-known people’s lives and relationship with Ireland, was edited for clarity and length. Ireland play their first match in the Women’s Six Nations 2026 against England on April 11th.