Don’t buy whatever online course influencers are selling — going to the GP is in

As a woman, I’ve spent a lot of my life being told that the female body is some mysterious thing. Fluctuating hormones, period pain, ovulation pain, hormonal acne, low iron: all part of the gift that is womanhood.

But don’t worry! A quick scroll through social media will introduce you to the one true culprit for any problem a woman may experience. Of course, the wellness influencers of TikTok and Instagram have worked it all out, it’s so simple.

Hormonal contraception is to blame. Forget endometriosis, you idiot. The contraceptive pill, your desire to avoid pregnancy while you’re in college: that’s what’s wrong with you. Silly us, thinking doctors with all of that verifiable medical training could offer helpful advice. You just need to buy the e-book that the influencer wrote using ChatGPT if you want the cold, hard facts. Obviously.

I wish I was joking. But seriously, my social media feeds are flooded with people telling women that the contraceptive pill is the reason for all of their problems. And only this influencer has the answers. When listing the reasons to get off the contraceptive pill, they’ll start by hitting us where it hurts. Weight and body size.

They’d have you believe that the pill is the reason you’re not walking around in your desired skeletal form. Also, they’ll say the pill is making you puffy and inflamed. Your jaw would be chiselled if you weren’t messing around with contraception.

They’ll tell you it’s the reason your skin isn’t flawless, the reason your eyebrows are too thick, the reason you have insomnia.

Then they get extra creative, telling girls they’ll not be able to have children, they’ll get into relationships with men that they would otherwise hate, and they’ll age more quickly, if they don’t get off the pill before it’s too late. I don’t think it takes a genius to figure out that these influencers often come armed with arguments about God’s divine creation and the moral duties of men to provide and women to reproduce.

It would be entertaining if it weren’t so painfully irresponsible. Because it is kind of frightening how many girls I know who are so scared of contraception, they’re just hoping they don’t accidentally get pregnant.

Jane Cowan: “I’ve used different forms of contraception for many years. Of course, they haven’t all worked for me. But on the whole, I would call it a success story.” Picture: Moya Nolan

Among my friends, I am a major advocate for contraception. Not in the way that I pretend to be a qualified professional. In the way that I encourage my friends to book a free appointment with their doctor and ask them if the pill is really going to make them marry a deadbeat man.

Don’t let the influencers convince you that you should only want your body to function the way it naturally does. Sure, I take painkillers when I have a headache. 

I take travel sickness medication so that I don’t throw up on someone during a long bus journey. And I take antibiotics when I have an infection. All marvellous, unnatural things that I am so delighted to have access to. Why is contraception any different?

I’ve used different forms of contraception for many years. Of course, they haven’t all worked for me. But on the whole, I would call it a success story. I’m actually a major fan. I think it’s important to say that in a world of contraceptive fear-mongering. Look at me, a child-free success story.

Even beyond childlessness, there’s so much to love about contraception. Some of my favourite things include: clearing up my acne, making my bleeding lighter and less painful, and making my periods more predictable.

It’s also been many years since I’ve had a period-induced fainting spell. Contraception didn’t make me gain weight or puffy. It actually just improved my quality of life. When my hormones were working naturally, I was often dizzy and tired from low iron levels. Now, you’d have to wrestle contraception from me to get me to go au natural.

I am concerned by the amount of anti-contraception content online. I know that it impacts the decisions of my friends when it comes to their own choices. It’s brilliant that we have free contraception for 17 to 35-year-olds in Ireland.

But if we’re not also tackling the misinformation and fear-mongering online, that keeps women from accessing it, those schemes will only do so much. Contraception is one of the greatest tools that feminism has afforded women.

The ability to make choices about how they want their life to play out. I hate to see online grifters taking advantage of vulnerable women, undoing that progress. Don’t buy whatever online course these influencers are selling. Going to the GP is in; spread the word.