There are between five and 10 spaces up for grabs in Thomas Tuchel’s England squad, and Friday’s friendly against Marcelo Bielsa’s Uruguay provided the perfect opportunity for those on the periphery.
You’d be bold to identify anyone who grabbed their chance with both hands after England’s stale 1-1 draw at Wembley.
The biggest takeaway from that match was not that Player X should be starting, or even that Player Y should be nowhere near the World Cup squad, but that Uruguay are dirty buggers. Friendly, my arse.
Oh, and that the referee was absolutely terrible. He booked Manuel Ugarte twice and didn’t send him off. He also should have sent off Ronald Araujo and disallowed England’s goal. And that was not a penalty against Ben White. He’s the only person on the pitch tonight we can confidently say does not deserve to be in North America this summer – not even on his holidays. Butlins for you, pal.
Anyhow, here are our painstakingly put-together player ratings from England 1-1 Uruguay.
James Trafford
Back at Wembley after keeping a clean sheet in the Carabao Cup final on Sunday, Trafford was given his England debut against Uruguay in Friday night’s friendly.
He was so close to keeping a clean sheet but faced a penalty in the fifth minute of injury time. He couldn’t get near Federico Valverde’s strike despite going the right way.
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Tino Livramento
Defenders are bleeding impossible to rate after a game like that. We’re just surprised Livramento played 90 minutes considering his injury history. Because, as we’ve mentioned, the Uruguay team is full of filthy animals.
Harry Maguire
England’s starting XI was full of players on the fringes, which means his inclusion surely gave Maguire the perfect motivation to perform. He did fine.
Before the game, he was my starter next to Marc Guehi this summer. He still is, because he didn’t need to do anything exceptional.
He was fuming after the game, and rightly so. And he stuck up for White.
Fikayo Tomori
Came off for Ben White in the second half after a quiet 69 minutes.
It was his sixth cap and his first since November 2023.
Djed Spence
Came off in the 69th minute along with three other England players.
James Garner
Garner has a wicked set-piece delivery on him and, while that is an important string to his bow, it’s not the X-factor it would be ahead of any other tournament with Declan Rice there and absolutely undroppable.
His debut lasted 69 minutes.
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Jordan Henderson
The England captain at Wembley, Henderson has justified his selection with his performances in the Brentford midfield this campaign, while also being an important ‘old head’ in the camp.
He is obviously nothing more than experience and should not be getting minutes at the World Cup if he is called up to essentially be a member of Tuchel’s staff. Came off for Adam Wharton at half-time. Now there’s a player deserving of World Cup minutes.
Noni Madueke
Just like at Arsenal, the right-wing spot is there for Madueke to take, and he was presented with the chance to stake a claim over Bukayo Saka in Friday’s friendly against Uruguay.
Bowen came on for him in the 39th minute after getting injured. What a shame.
Phil Foden
This felt like a big night for Foden, getting to play in the No.10 role behind Dominic Solanke. The Manchester City man has barely played at club level in recent weeks and has benefited from Tuchel selecting a huge 35-man squad. If it were a normal break, he’d have been very, very, very lucky to be included.
Arrange a friendly against a South American country at your own peril. Foden got nailed by Araujo early in the second half. It could have been a serious injury, but he was luckily able to carry on, albeit only for a few minutes, as Cole Palmer was introduced.
Araujo might have ended Foden’s big night in the middle prematurely, but it might also have always been the plan, as Tuchel swapped strikers at the same time.
There’s a decent chance Araujo’s early challenge could paper over the cracks of another average-at-best performance in an England shirt for the 25-year-old. Having been a Three Lions regular for five years, Foden should probably have at least one notable international performance that instantly springs to mind.
Marcus Rashford
Produced England’s best moment of the entire first half when he took the ball from the edge of his own box to the opposite byline in 12 seconds. Unfortunately, his zipped left-footed cross had no recipient.
Also came off in the 69th minute.
Dominic Solanke
Showed no threat after being given the nod ahead of Calvert-Lewin.
Came off before the hour mark for the Leeds United striker. That was not a very good audition to be Harry Kane’s back-up this summer.
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Jarrod Bowen (39′)
Madueke’s injury gave Bowen an unexpected opportunity. His only cross was lost, he made zero key passes, registered zero shots, and was caught offside once.
Adam Wharton (45′)
Was given the entire second half to prove his worth to Tuchel. He certainly proved that he is more valuable than Henderson.
One of many mistakes from the referee was not disallowing England’s goal for a foul from the Crystal Palace man.
Cole Palmer (56′)
Looked bright when he came on for Foden. Getting the No.10 role was also a decent opportunity for him, and he did more in less time than his former City team-mate.
He should have had an assist, but Calvert-Lewin missed a sitter. He delivered the corner for Ben White’s goal, but it was still a shocking delivery. That doesn’t matter, though.
Palmer was comfortably England’s best player.
Dominic Calvert-Lewin (57′)
It was Calvert-Lewin’s bread and butter, we thought, but he squandered an amazing chance to open the scoring. Had his header found the back of the net, his stock would have been head and shoulders above Solanke’s and his other Kane back-up rivals.
At this rate, Tuchel’s other striker options will be wingers who can play there if needed, like Rashford and Bowen.
Lewis Hall (69′)
Was given a nice run-out on the left with Newcastle team-mate Barnes. We think. Who knows if half of these guys even played?
Harvey Barnes (69′)
It’s not too late to give Steve Clarke a ring, pal.
Kobbie Mainoo (69′)
Mainoo will hope for minutes against Japan, because he didn’t do much.
Ben White (69′)
Came off the bench to end his England absence to a chorus of boos. Not ideal. He’s probably not too bothered, but that is the sort of thing that can cut you deep. If you want to boo him, that’s your prerogative. You’re still a loser, though.
The best way to silence your haters is by scoring a goal, and somehow the centre-back managed to do just that with a tap-in from a corner.
Unfortunately for the Arsenal man, he then gave away a penalty in injury time. It wasn’t a pen, but, yeah…
It’s safe to say he was in the thick of it.