EGOT
Season 5
Episode 1
Editor’s Rating
3 stars
***
We are always confronting the big questions on this show, such as: Is it so over for Deborah? Or are we so back?
Photo: HBO Max
On Hacks, we are always confronting the big questions, such as: Is it so over? Or are we so back?
It’s a big week for rising from the dead! Happy Easter to all who celebrate and happy Hacks return for the heathens among us worshipping at Deborah Vance’s godless altar — the shrine piling up outside her mansion full of flowers and plush Diet Cokes. If you are wondering how we got here and need to brush up on season four, head over to my newsletter, where I went over my recaps from last season for exactly this purpose! Then come on back to find fans screaming at the sight of Deborah, who did NOT die, and who DID get TMZ to issue a retraction over falsely reporting she had.
While Deborah was in Singapore, Bob was working hard waging a PR war. His smear campaign was total and effective, from buzzy headlines (“DIVA DOWN: Talk Show Host’s Bizarre Behavior Raises Serious Concerns”) to his faux-concerned appearances on interview programs that air on networks he owns and are later cut into clips that can be viewed on streaming platforms he also owns. Josefina is defending Deborah in the comments using a burner account, but she is simply no match for this media mogul.
I still find Deborah’s actions in the second-to-last episode last season — her walking away from her late-night show in spectacularly self-immolating fashion, in brazen violation of her contract and in a move that would obviously torch the bridge with Bob, without even consulting a lawyer — hard to square with the Deborah we know, a hardened showbiz vet whose business savvy, as much as her comedic talent, has enabled her decadeslong career. As frustrating and awful as her current predicament is, it’s hardly a plot twist for her; how did she expect any of that to play out, except in exactly this way?
Ava wants to sue, but Deborah has another idea in the Don Draper mold: She doesn’t like what’s being said, so she’s changing the conversation.
Who can aid and abet this narrative effort? Her agents, whose only solid project is that Fatty Arbuckle biopic. Despite Kayla and Jimmy’s hustle and merit, they can’t sign any new clients because nobody wants to be attached to an agency that can’t do business with any of Bob’s companies. Their client list is geriatric and/or canine, and neither base is super-reliable. They lost two clients to bad falls last month, and Lassie ran away! Jimmy wants to downsize — their office space costs $30,000 a month — but Kayla and Randi insist they hold on. Perhaps the meeting in Vegas to which Deborah has summoned them will bring the good news they’re hoping for?
Ah well, kind of! Deborah’s plan is to get a “legacy-defining win that cannot be spun.” In that pursuit, she announces, “I have decided to EGOT.” I love 30 Rock, but I cannot believe they made one joke one time and now we all have to act like it’s real. I would rather have Leap Day William!
Deborah already has a Daytime Emmy and won a Tony for producing Spamalot. Legally, as Randi helpfully explains, Deborah can film something as long as it’s not released until the noncompete is over. Deborah says they need to find her a serious part because everyone loves it when comedic actors play serious roles. Also, Deborah has never won a Grammy despite being nominated seven times. (Not even a win for The Best Things in Life Are at Sears: Deborah Vance Live, sponsored by Sears!) She will be competing in the audiobook category instead; she’ll read her own memoir, which has not yet been written, but her good friend Tony Kushner is game.
Once more, I struggle to believe that Deborah, the jaded, world-weary vet, really believes this is the move. Ava knows this is insane but tells Jimmy she is just relieved Deborah is doing anything at all besides drinking until noon. Jimmy confesses that the financial situation of the agency is not so hot; he really needs “to write and sell a huge international hit that has sequel potential.” Ava can send him the Mall Girl screenplay she wrote in Singapore … will this be her big break!?
As someone who has actually written a book — my novel, Retro, is out June 23; you can preorder now! Ahh!!! — I nearly passed out listening to Deborah tell Tony her vision for knocking out her entire memoir: “I’m thinking a chapter a day, 15 chapters, wrap this up in two weeks, easy.” Tony suggests it will be more involved. He wants to start way before her childhood, like in Scotland where her ancestors are from. Ava is riveted. Deborah not so much. Later, she breezes through her adolescence — ”Let’s start with high school. I was gorgeous, smart, and popular. College: same.” — but Tony chastises her: He has a Pulitzer, and she needs to listen to Peggy Lee’s “Is That All There Is?,” the soundtrack for his writing process.
Let’s focus on the Oscar: Deborah can’t get in with Documentary Short because, as Randi wisely notes, there are too many wars going on and they’ll surely take the prize. (Actually, this year’s winner was about school shootings, so … okay, but it still doesn’t sound like it’ll be Deborah’s category.) Could they get her a part in the Fatty Arbuckle movie? At first it seems like a nonstarter — Jimmy doesn’t want to jeopardize the only good thing his agency has going — but when it turns out an actress of Deborah’s age can’t deliver, he and Kayla fire her (from the movie) and hire her (as a client, in Kayla’s too-aggressive attempt at “good cop”), leaving a perfect opening for Deborah.
Back in Grammyland, Deborah has fired Tony and moved on. Despite Ava’s insistence that she never rely on McKinsey, Deborah employed them to run the numbers and tell her how to win the Grammy. This year, Regional Mexican Music Album (including Tejano) is the weakest category, so all Deborah needs to do is be featured on the likely winner’s album and she’s set! While I did enjoy the sight of Deborah singing in Spanish with her maracas, I do fear I am watching a woman having, if not a breakdown, something adjacent to it.
So I was relieved to see her test Ava that evening by pretending she wanted to primary AOC just to prove Ava isn’t being honest with her anymore. “I don’t need a ‘yes man.’ I need a ‘no woman’ to ignore,” Deborah tells her. Ava concedes that Singapore was very dark and she is treading lightly because of it, but if she is, you know, being honest, she does not think EGOT-ing on multiple technicalities will do much for Deborah’s legacy. She asks, What’s the biggest achievement for a comedian? “Beating a rape trial” is Deborah’s first crack, then she says wistfully, “Hosting a late-night show.” (Still, though!? Like, honestly! I know it was, but I feel like now it’s really not!) Finally, she lands on something better: “Selling out Madison Square Garden.” Once again, I see we are using the time-honored “We need $3,000 to save the rec center, and here’s a dance contest with a $3,000 prize!” storytelling technique. Who am I to argue with a classic?
Having admitted she can barely remember her final monologue and never even watched it, Deborah tries to stream it, only to discover Bob has scrubbed not only that monologue but all her monologues, every single clip from her late-night show, and her special. All her work from the past five years has been ERASED BY BOB. What a vindictive prick! Also, sorry, bold move for a guy who’s been giving his wife the runaround with an infamous arsonist!
Deborah, livid, calls Jimmy — who is in the middle of a Zoom session with his therapist; voice cameo by Orna of Couples Therapy fame! — who I guess has learned nothing about boundaries and protecting his personal time because he slams the laptop shut to take the call. Deborah has figured out how to do stand-up: a secret show, phones confiscated at the door, password “Hermès Kelly 28, Croc, gold hardware,” hosted by Marcus (!) in a storage space at QVC HQ!
This does mean she’s over the whole EGOT thing, which means Jimmy has to find another replacement for the actress he just fired; fortunately, his mom, the Deidre Hall, can be off book for eight pages by tomorrow morning. Crisis averted, Jimmy can focus on Deborah’s comeback show, in which she tells her packed house of fans that her time away from the spotlight has helped her reflect on what really matters: the spotlight.
It’s all going according to plan, even when the next morning, while casually shopping for diamonds, as one does, Deborah is served because someone leaked and posted a clip of her secret show online. Off to court she goes, dressed in the uniform of innocence (soft beige), to have a judge rule against her, placing a temporary restraining order on her. This is all so Deborah can say to a phalanx of reporters on live television, “Free speech is under attack in this country!” And that she WILL be back the MOMENT her contract expires with a show at Madison Square Garden.
The leak, of course, was from Ava. As a skywriter scrawls “FREE DEBORAH” above the clouds, Team Vance celebrates its first big win in the battle with Bob.
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