A woman who claimed her ex-partner is threatening her and “using” their daughter to “get at, or get back with” his ex-boyfriend got a protection order against him.
The woman told the emergency domestic violence court at Dolphin House in Dublin she had children with her ex during their long relationship, but it broke up when she found out he was having an affair with a man for most of the years they were together.
She and her children subsequently got on well with his boyfriend but, since her ex and his boyfriend had broken up, a lot changed, she said. Her teenage daughter was very upset when told by her father his ex-boyfriend, with whom the girl had an “excellent” relationship, no longer wished to see her but the ex-boyfriend denied he ever said that.
She is concerned that her ex is using their daughter to try to “get at, or get back with”, his boyfriend, the woman told Judge Gerard Furlong.
Her daughter has made allegations against her own partner, the woman said. Her ex called her “disgusting” names about that and had driven to her home, threatening “to kill me and burn me out”.
He has “not left me alone” and she had blocked his number several times since his relationship broke down, the woman said. Her hands “are tied” until an investigation is completed into the allegations by her daughter, whom she has not seen in months and who is staying with her father. A custody hearing is pending, she added.
The judge told the woman he would grant a protection order. As her daughter’s custodian, she could separately seek an order requiring her ex to produce the child in court, he added.
In another ex parte (one side represented) application before the judge on Friday, a protection order was granted to a woman against her ex-partner.
She said they have two children and had separated some years back.
He phoned her one night this week when she had a visitor, and he was “very angry” and told her he knew she was seeing someone, she said.
[ Eight in 10 protection orders, about one in three barring orders, grantedOpens in new window ]
He said he kept asking for that man’s name and told her he had a friend watching her home and he knew she and the other man went upstairs to her bedroom. “I feel sick knowing someone was watching me,” she said.
There was a pattern of “controlling behaviour” by her ex during their relationship, she added. He had recently phoned her place of work, arranging an appointment there, and has reduced maintenance for their children which he was paying under a voluntary arrangement between her and him, she said.
Another woman, who got an interim barring order earlier this month against her son over “escalating physical and verbal abuse”, including threatening and pushing her, damaging her home and personal belongings, said she was not pursuing a full barring order against him. She wanted to give him “a last chance”.
Her son does not have drink or drug issues but he is not happy in Ireland and wants to move to the US, she said. She had told him he would need qualifications to do so.
When the judge asked was she pursuing an additional application for a safety order, she initially said she was not because she did not want her son, aged in his 20s, to have a criminal record.
The judge said her son would only have a criminal record if he breached the safety order. The woman, he noted, was granted a previous interim barring order late last year but had not pursued a full barring order and was back in court earlier this month for another interim barring order.
After further exchanges, the woman said she would pursue her safety order application. It was a “very hard” decision, she said. The judge granted a safety order for two years.
In another case, a man sought a protection order against his partner.
Their relationship was “disturbing on many levels”, is not improving and they are now living apart, he said. He only wanted to have communication with her about their children and access but, despite him blocking her, she was constantly ringing him and sending him “mixed” emails, some good and some abusive. She had come to his home last year, screaming and abusive and had also contacted his work manager.
The judge told the man he had provided enough evidence for a protection order to be granted.