In 2010 I just knew I had to walk the Camino. I’d been very overweight and wasn’t really sure if the Camino was possible, but by 2010 I’d begun to lose weight.

My cousin had done various routes of the Camino and I’d read Paolo Coelho’s book, The Pilgrimage. In 2010, Martin Sheen’s movie, The Way, came out and I thought oh my God, this is what it looks like! I’d heard and read about it, and now here was a film.

And almost because I’d started the weight loss that year, the film coming out was like another sign, and I set this goal to walk the Camino.

I’d heard about the sense of freedom, I’d only have myself to think about when I was there — I’d heard it was a way of working through pain. For so long, I’d been unhappy in jobs, my marriage had broken up and I was on my own with two daughters.

To just know all I had to think about was the simplicity of one foot in front of the other!

I wanted to go on my own but my family were concerned — I’d suffered with depression when younger, I couldn’t speak Spanish…

I did my first Camino in September 2016, I was 45. I did the Portuguese way, from Tui to Santiago, a week — 117km. I went with a group doing it for the Marie Keating Foundation. This gave a safety net but also the space to be myself within that group — I didn’t know them so there were no expectations.

I quickly realised a lot of the women were cancer survivors, which was very humbling. And also they had careers where I felt very out of my depth — one had her own legal firm, there was a chief financial officer for a charity. Meeting all these accomplished ladies, I felt real imposter syndrome, like who am I to be here?

A pivotal moment was phoning my partner at home, telling him how I was feeling. And he said ‘hold on a sec Barbara’, and he reminded me of all the people I’d been helping through my weight loss support groups, having lost a lot of weight myself. So he said to get back in the room and remember what I bring to the world.

Barbara Byrne doing yogaBarbara Byrne doing yoga

That was the first ‘aha’ moment of the week — I’m human, they’re human, I’m a woman, they’re women too, look at what I’ve got to bring to this.

The following day — there were 12 of us in the group — we all started speaking about our stories, our different life challenges. I realised we’re more alike than we’re different. Despite the jobs, clothes, money, we were all carrying something heavy that brought us to want to walk and to experience that sense of freedom.

One evening, sitting around sharing stories, I told them about the impostor syndrome I’d felt at the beginning. And they said ‘but the energy and motivation you bring to the group is off the charts!’ And I thought: Oh! We all have our hang-ups, and we all have something to bring — but we often don’t realise, it takes somebody telling us…

In October 2021, I finally got my fully solo Camino trip. I’d just turned 50 and I thought we’ve come out of a world epidemic, I’m not waiting for a right time because there’s never going to be one. Because during covid I couldn’t wait to break free — the first opportunity I was going to walk over the Pyrenees from St Jean Pied De Port.

I chose that route because I knew the Pyrenees would be a challenge. It was to say ‘so what if I’m 50’. For too long we put limits on ourselves — I can’t do that because I’m a woman, or because I’m too old.

A big realisation on the Camino was: We’re only ever alone when we choose to be because there are so many people out there walking. Nobody was pressured into anything — if you wanted to walk with someone you could, or you could say ‘I’ll see you for dinner’.

The biggest ‘aha’ was on my last day of walking, a really challenging day by myself. It was hot, long, my tummy was upset, my blisters came out in force. Sitting on a bench before going back on the trail, along came another lady. She was holding her leg, crying with the pain of it — I was crying because of the blisters.

I’ve no idea where she was from — we had an exchange without speaking each other’s language. I took out a rub to offer her, she gave me jellies. We hugged. It was a really special moment, knowing somebody understood, was thinking of you. I remember her hands in the prayer position saying thank you.

People say you meet Camino angels. Looking back now, I can safely say: yes, she was definitely one.

My Camino journey — all of it — has changed my life. I learned when we dig deep, we’re capable of more than we ever think we are. So many times I thought I couldn’t go on and yet I did, and I made it. It has all brought me a sense of peace, clarity, a deeper connection with myself.

Barbara Byrne is founder of Walk This Way. Through self-guided journeys, group walks and wellness offerings including yoga and mindfulness, she helps others experience the magic of Camino trips in Ireland and Spain. Visit walkthisway.ie