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Selling Sunset<\/a><\/p>\n There\u2019s No Going Back \/ Time to Clean House<\/p>\n \n Season 9<\/p>\n Episodes 9 – 10\n <\/p>\n \n Editor\u2019s Rating<\/p>\n 5 stars<\/p>\n *****\n <\/p>\n \n Photo: NETFLIX\n <\/p>\n The security hedge has fallen, and the brokerage has been compromised. Two men disguised as butlers infiltrate The O Group on a rare day when almost everyone (except Mary) is in the office. They are there to issue a decree through song: Bre is having a Galentine\u2019s Day party. Everyone is invited to this bacchanal of botox and fire dancers, but everyone seems to understand that this is actually the opening salvo of the war that\u2019s been brewing between Mary and Chrishell\u2019s respective fiefdoms. Emma, Chelsea, and Chrishell wisely and politely decline the invitation, something we get to watch the other women say they don\u2019t care about over and over for like a full half hour of television.<\/p>\n Mary is not only absent for this, but she is now threatening to leave the brokerage entirely, something Jason insists he does not want. She is clearly trying to get Chelsea kicked off the show like Nicole. The issue is that Chelsea has tact. She will simply ignore people she does not like and only attack when directly provoked. You know, like a normal human being. But Mary needs Chelsea gone because she, along with Chrishell and Emma, are \u201con their own little island.\u201d This bothers her for some reason. Like a goblin queen, hiding in a shadowy mountain lair, looking down on that island\u2019s sun-kissed shores, she covets and schemes and seethes.<\/p>\n G Flip can clearly feel what\u2019s coming. They\u2019re begging Chrishell to get away, before the forces of darkness can gather their strength, insisting they escape to raise kids in Australia! The land of dinner-plate-sized spiders that I don\u2019t even want to think about, but now I am, so thanks a lot, G. They also have better healthcare, which you\u2019d have to with all those spiders. Chrishell isn\u2019t sure, and I don\u2019t blame her: it\u2019s a very long flight, and she just got a $28 million listing<\/a> with a potential $828,000 commission. With that kind of money, you could buy your own Australia to keep at home. But, alas, home is where the danger lies.<\/p>\n Speaking of Sandra, she is executing her mission to the best of her ability, which apparently isn\u2019t much. She prods Chelsea to talk about her issues with Bre at a listing in Hermosa Beach. But Chelsea won\u2019t have it, shutting the whole thing down in a way that clearly irritates her. Later, she arrives at the aforementioned $28 million listing to try the same move on Chrishell, which is a big mistake, huge. Chrishell did not become queen of Glitter Island by falling for obvious pot-stirring ploys like this. In a moment I truly adore, she immediately pulls out her phone to show Sandra a photo of a driver\u2019s license. It is Chrishell\u2019s assistant, who claims to have once been Sandra\u2019s neighbor, and that Sandra once keyed her car. No reason is given as to why she would do this, but I do believe this woman is capable of practically anything.<\/p>\n Later, when she meets with Mary to recount this incident, she also claims that Chrishell told her she had more information that she would \u201csave for later.\u201d We did not see Chrishell say this on camera, and Sandra\u2019s whole recounting of the interaction is very ungenerous to say the least. She performs a hyper-mean caricature of Chrishell, which amuses Mary and seems to concern Amanza, a person whose loyalties remain unclear to me. She is obviously Mary\u2019s friend, but she is also a kind person who I don\u2019t think understands all this goblin shit.<\/p>\n The Galentine\u2019s party itself is a complete farce. Mary has a breakdown simply because she sees Chelsea\u2019s name on a place setting. I guess Bre is the sort of person who doesn\u2019t pay attention to RSVPs and sets the table for everyone she invited, which is utter madness. But this is the sort of behavior that\u2019s considered normal on Goblin Mountain, where Mary and her minions perform dark rituals involving fish semen and needles. Part of what is amusing about this is that I don\u2019t think Bre even realizes she is a minion in all this. She thinks she\u2019s comforting Mary, coming to her defense. However, I think she\u2019s being manipulated into becoming the next Nicole. She will be sent in to try and finish what Sandra failed to even start.<\/p>\n Of course, Emma, Chelsea, and Chrishell do not attend the black mass happening in the mountains above. They\u2019re meeting up for their own Galentine\u2019s dinner \u2014 Emma even wears a dress made of tiny heart balloons \u2014 where they talk about their careers and how eager they are to simply live their pretty girl lives. Emma has a dog that can meow! Chrishell and G found a sperm donor! Chelsea keeps talking about being a single mom even though she has over a million dollars\u2019 worth of jewelry in her home! (Babe, stop!) They toast to their future: one where they\u2019ve committed to success, to living their days in the sun, to embracing love and light and the power of commerce. They laugh and drink, averting their eyes from the clouds that gather over the mountains above. Determined to ignore the howls that echo from those wicked caverns, dug a thousand years ago by the nameless ones, they will not hear the drums sounding in the deep.<\/p>\n \u2022 This was a really, really great season of Selling Sunset, and I appreciate that they\u2019ve committed to building toward a reunion that might actually be of interest. I truly cannot wait.<\/p>\n