{"id":167326,"date":"2025-11-30T09:14:10","date_gmt":"2025-11-30T09:14:10","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/167326\/"},"modified":"2025-11-30T09:14:10","modified_gmt":"2025-11-30T09:14:10","slug":"meet-the-parents-who-swap-rather-than-shop-the-irish-times","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/167326\/","title":{"rendered":"Meet the parents who swap rather than shop \u2013 The Irish Times"},"content":{"rendered":"

In our household, my son<\/a> has a favourite winter gilet that has his neighbour\u2019s name and phone number inked into the label. Our little fellow Oscar, who has just turned three, loves the gilet because it used to belong to his \u201cbig boy\u201d neighbour, Nikolai. If I\u2019m having trouble getting him dressed in the morning for Montessori, the easiest way to convince him is to say he should wear \u201cNikolai\u2019s jumper\u201d. Ditto Nikolai\u2019s trousers, socks and shoes. <\/p>\n

We\u2019ve been gifted them by Nikolai\u2019s mum, just as we in turn have gifted other neighbours and relatives Oscar\u2019s old clothes once he has grown out of them. It\u2019s a casual exchange based on sound economic principles \u2013 given recent estimates that the cost of raising one child is \u20ac15,000 per year<\/a>, swapping makes sense. But our decision to often swap rather than shop<\/a> comes with benefits that go well beyond the financial. Swapping or donating cuts out waste, builds into the circular economy, and creates friendships, as parents meet to hand over boxes and bags of clothes, toys and other knick-knacks.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s a throwback to a pre-fast fashion era 1980s model, where it was normal for people to ferry bags of clothing around to houses, and where a generation of children can recall attempting to squeeze into their older sibling or cousin or neighbour\u2019s Communion dress because there would be no sense in getting something new just for the sake of one day. <\/p>\n

Sometimes when a friend or relative is passing on clothing, there\u2019s an unexpected poignancy to the moment. I\u2019ve stood in a room with a parent who has sighed and said that, yes, they want to give their child\u2019s old clothes away because they don\u2019t see themselves having more kids. <\/p>\n

In talking about clothing, they\u2019re also revealing something of themselves \u2013 there is an intimacy to the conversation, even as they hold up a dinky pair of dungarees or a multicoloured woollen hat brought from Brazil with llamas on the side, and reminisce about who gave it to them or where their child once wore it. <\/p>\n

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It\u2019s also a relief to declutter; and it makes people feel good to know they\u2019re giving or getting more life from garments. <\/p>\n

As attitudes have changed in favour of sustainability, so has the language around it. Where once we habitually deployed the term \u201csecond-hand\u201d, now we\u2019re more likely to say \u201cpreloved\u201d or \u201cvintage\u201d, a small tweak in terminology that\u2019s indicative of a large-scale shift in values.<\/p>\n

From charity shops to Depop and Vinted, from family and friend exchanges to WhatsApp-based swap groups, careful reuse of children\u2019s clothing is in, pointless waste is out. <\/p>\n

\"NadiaNadia Vieira and her baby, Artur. Photograph: Alan Betson<\/p>\n

In Dublin, the WhatsApp group Swapsies Inchicore \u2013 one of several swap groups in the capital \u2013 has about 500 members. It began in 2018, and items change hands on the group with breathtaking speed. <\/p>\n

\u201cOn the weekend, you might have over 50 messages in the space of an hour or two. If you\u2019re not paying attention in the group, within minutes it\u2019s gone,\u201d says N\u00e1dia Vieira. The 33-year-old, Dublin-based LinkedIn employee is on maternity leave \u2013 she and her husband are parents to 10-month-old Artur. She and her husband, who both grew up in Portugal, moved to Dublin eight years ago for work opportunities. With baby Artur, \u201cit\u2019s challenging because we have no family support\u201d, she says. \u201cSo everything is on both of us, but we\u2019re making it work.\u201d <\/p>\n

Vieira found out about the Swapsies Inchicore group through a Portuguese friend based in Dublin. \u201cWhen I was pregnant I asked her to add me. I got a few bits even when I was pregnant, a onesie for him, a baby bath I still have. Most of the things were really good quality. Sometimes I even get nice brands \u2013 to be fair, I don\u2019t care about the brands, I care more about a specific item. I got babygros, nice coats for winter. Before he was born, I got wool cardigans that were handmade.\u201d <\/p>\n

\"SomeSome of Artur’s second-hand items. Photograph: Alan Betson <\/p>\n

Closed groups ensure quality control, she says. \u201cThere\u2019s a lot of respect. You know the stuff people are posting is real. You don\u2019t have to worry about people trying to trick you. It\u2019s not about selling an item, it\u2019s about recycling. Sometimes you see people trying to sell and then the admins will come and remind you that this is a community that wants to help each other and we allow for some items to be sold but that\u2019s not the purpose of the group. The purpose of the group is to help each other.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ashley Steed, a theatre-maker from California, came to Dublin in 2020 with her husband, who is from Tipperary. They have two boys, Caolin (4) and Ruair\u00ed (2), and live in the Dublin 6 area, where Steed is an administrator of the D6\/D6W mums\u2019 group. \u201cWe\u2019ve discouraged selling on our group,\u201d Steed says. \u201cIn Los Angeles, we have something called \u2018Buy Nothing\u2019 groups, so one of the first things I looked for here was to see if we had these types of groups here. There\u2019s D6 Freecycle and Rathmines Freecycle. There\u2019s also a lot of clothes-swap events happening now, like costume swaps for Halloween, or swaps where you bring gently used clothes to swap. Most of my stuff, I just give away. I think a lot about the dumps and how they\u2019re filling up, and how I can contribute as little as I can to that, which is hard in our contemporary lives. Everything comes in a package.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"AshleyAshley Steed with her children Caolin\u00a0(4) and Ruair\u00ed (2) and some of their pre-loved toys. Photograph: Nick Bradshaw <\/p>\n

Steed enjoys the feeling of goodwill that comes with the exchanges, which usually involves collections from the home of the giver. \u201cThere was a mother who came by recently \u2013 her baby was seven days old. I had a bunch of stuff I gave her. I told her she was doing great and looking well. She sent me a text later saying how much that meant to her, to have that encouragement.\u201d Steed is working on a show, \u201ca love letter to motherhood\u201d, which will use only second-hand items, \u201cmostly pots and pans, wooden spoons\u201d \u2013 items toddlers enjoy. The swap groups have helped her get items she needs for the show. And she\u2019s delighted to jettison old belongings from her own home. \u201cI\u2019ve always been a purger,\u201d she says, laughing. \u201cI love getting rid of things that no longer serve their purpose. I\u2019m very conscious too about the clothing I purchase. I want things that are going to last.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"DavidDavid Desmond and his wife, Shoko Fujita, with their daughter, Emiko <\/p>\n

David Desmond and his wife, Shoko Fujita are based near Schull in west Cork. They first started making use of swap groups when Fujita became pregnant with their daughter, Emiko, who is now one year old. \u201cWhen we didn\u2019t know what we needed, swap groups provided a place to go and talk to people and get advice,\u201d says Desmond. \u201cIn my workplace, a similar group was set up as well. I remember going in there, looking at cloth nappies before the baby came. We are still using cloth nappies. We\u2019re very conscious of synthetic, plastic waste. The idea of using disposable nappies and the waste it would create is crazy to think of. The cloth nappy library in Cork was also really good \u2013 we were able to rent a newborn kit with a load of newborn nappies.\u201d When a neighbour passing the house saw the cloth nappies drying on the line, she called in to offer the couple another bag of them. \u201cWe got huge benefit out of that, it was nice,\u201d Desmond says. <\/p>\n

For Fujita, the decision to use cloth nappies makes sense because the couple don\u2019t have to drive to the shops to buy disposable nappies. \u201cWhere we live, there\u2019s not many shops around. If I can stay home washing and then use the nappy again, that\u2019s ultimately easier,\u201d she says. The same is true of using the swap groups. \u201cInstead of going to a city to get clothes, it\u2019s more convenient.\u201d She is a member of a local mums\u2019 WhatsApp group with about 70 members, and she sometimes attends the swap-groups that take place seasonally in The Treehouse soft play centre in Skibbereen. \u201cThere\u2019s also a monthly clothes swap in Durrus,\u201d she says. <\/p>\n

Good quality and sustainability: that\u2019s coming to the forefront of people\u2019s minds again<\/p>\n

\u2014 \u00a0Laura Keating Grant of Lovely Things<\/p>\n

For many parents, buying or selling at markets is an enjoyable way to encourage the circular economy. In Limerick, Valerie Mitchell took over ownership of Baby Market Ireland in 2022 (babymarketireland.ie<\/a>). Since then, she has run numerous events in hotels and community centres across the country. <\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s a day out,\u201d she says. \u201cSome people come with the car full to the brim with buggies, cots, bassinets and outfits \u2013 some outfits that have never been worn.\u201d Tickets for sellers are from \u20ac30, and from \u20ac5 for attendees. \u201cThe parents are there, selling their items and for them, it\u2019s probably their first time being out of the house before nine o\u2019clock in the morning, and it\u2019s not a wedding or a funeral they\u2019re going to. The couple are able to have that time together. Once they\u2019re finished selling their items, they get away and get to have dinner.\u201d<\/p>\n

The growth of the preloved movement is persuading people to adapt their thinking around present-buying. For Christmas last year I asked my sister for a gift of preloved clothing for the first time, encouraged by the range of second-hand options available via online stores like Vinted, Vestiaire and Sellpy. <\/p>\n

\"LauraLaura Keating Grant, owner of Lovely Things in Deansgrange, Dublin. Photograph: Nick Bradshaw<\/p>\n

Laura Keating Grant, in her shop, Lovely Things<\/a> in Deansgrange, Co Dublin, which sells vintage and preloved garments for children along with Irish brands, sees this a lot. <\/p>\n

\u201cThere\u2019s a mindset shift,\u201d she says. \u201cBecause we\u2019ve been online for a few years \u2013 we opened in Deansgrange in July \u2013 we\u2019ve a mix of customers who have been with us since the beginning, then also passersby and people who have heard about us through word-of-mouth. Good quality and sustainability: that\u2019s coming to the forefront of people\u2019s minds again. Some people come in specifically for a vintage piece or because a parent has asked. Someone brought in a party invitation that said, \u2018No new gifts, please\u2019. Shopping preloved is not a compromise, it\u2019s a fabulous way of sourcing great quality items for your kids at a price that\u2019s really accessible for people. I think it\u2019s become second nature for a lot of people.\u201d<\/p>\n

David Desmond too believes attitudes are evolving around reusing clothing. \u201cSomething I remember from my childhood was like hand-me-downs was almost like a sign that you were poor or that, \u2018Oh this child, he\u2019s wearing hand-me-downs, they don\u2019t get good clothes\u2019. But I hope that\u2019s changing. From my perspective, it is. It\u2019s not that we can\u2019t afford to pay for something, it just makes more sense not to have these things piling up in houses and ending up in waste. It\u2019s giving more life to clothes.\u201d<\/p>\n

Where to start<\/p>\n

\"JessicaJessica Lagreid in the children’s section of Change Clothes shop on Thomas Street, Dublin. Photograph: Nick Bradshaw Zero Waste Family Freecycle Ireland<\/a>, a Facebook group with more than 25,000 members, offers members the capacity to pass on and receive items that are pregnancy\/baby or child-related. In Dublin, community-based clothing reuse hub Changeclothes.org <\/a>has a dedicated Hand Me Down Hub for children\u2019s clothes in their Swap Shop at the Digital Hub on Thomas Street, where families can bring what they no longer need and take home what fits. They also host monthly kids\u2019 clothing reuse and repair events.<\/p>\n

Charity shops often have children\u2019s clothes and toys sections, and resale sites like Depop and Vinted have preloved children\u2019s clothing sections. <\/p>\n

While you need to be added to the various Swapsies and WhatsApp groups around the country to take part in the swaps, if you have a friend with small children who lives in your area, they\u2019re likely to be able to help get you added by an admin. If in doubt about what\u2019s available in your area, inputting key words like \u201cSwapsies\u201d plus your area into Google or social media apps such as X and Instagram can help get you started. <\/p>\n

Let\u2019s Match Mums is a brilliant initiative that connects parents with refugee mums in the local area who have younger children in need of clothes, toys and baby equipment. letsmatchmums.com<\/a>An \u2018invaluable\u2019 resource: Parents on Swapsies<\/p>\n

\u201cMy child is fully dressed in second-hand clothes. I strictly ask for no gifts for her and I\u2019ve never bought anything for her, as far as possible. I asked friends or relatives to donate to charity instead. If she gets new items I send them straight to charity with tags so they can make money off them as I\u2019ve plenty to dress her in from Swapsies alone. It\u2019s so good and I feel like I am cutting down on waste.\u201d Una, Dublin<\/p>\n

\u201cMy kids are dressed entirely in Swapsies and hand-me-downs. It\u2019s not only been a lifeline for maximising the circular economy, it\u2019s been a great way to make friends. When we moved back to Dublin from the Netherlands during Covid, Swapsies was literally one of the few ways to meet people in the area. Since then we\u2019ve set up a Freecycle group just for local people living in IPAS and we hold three to four clothes swaps per year [via Inchicore for all on social media], which are extremely popular. The Halloween one had a few hundred people coming along throughout the day.\u201d Louise Fitzpatrick, Dublin<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m in both the Swapsies group and the Mammary Mob, for clothes but also baby bits. I found it really invaluable for me as a first-time mother: my daughter is six months old. When I was telling someone I know locally that I was pregnant, she said, \u201cDon\u2019t be buying anything, I\u2019ll get you added to this Swapsies group.\u201d It saved me a lot of money. I\u2019ve been trekking a lot of the roads in Dublin 8, over to Drimnagh as well and D12. But I like that. Sometimes you get chatting to other mothers or parents. It was a nice conversation-starter, about expecting a baby and what\u2019s ahead. I\u2019m from Monaghan. There\u2019s no similar group [there] that I know of in my friend group or wider circle; it\u2019s unfortunate, because a lot of them would be more out-of-pocket than me. I couldn\u2019t recommend it more. The transition to parenthood without the money struggles has been brilliant; I have not needed to spend silly money on stuff.\u201d Collette McEntee, Dublin 8<\/p>\n

\u201cWe have just moved back from the UK; parents over there are on Vinted constantly, so I think that will be a real game changer when it properly gets up and running here. I bought three pairs of Timberland sandals for my kids\u2019 holiday (I opted for unworn so they were dearer at about \u20ac11 each), whereas they are \u20ac50 in the shops. I bought runners for \u20ac4. A few swipes on the phone and they are ordered and arrive at my door. And don\u2019t even get me started on how useful it was for kids\u2019 costumes for Halloween, or Christmas clothing.\u201d Laura Bolger, Templeogue <\/p>\n

\u201cI love rocking up to someone\u2019s house and collecting a bag of used clothes. I love that clothes have had a history before us and that my kids get to give them a new life. It\u2019s exciting to bring the bag home and see the treasures people have passed on (you can even find expensive stuff sometimes, although it doesn\u2019t really matter). I could afford to buy clothes for my kids but I prefer to use second-hand clothes due to the environmental impact. It\u2019s also silly to buy new clothes when kids grow out of them so fast. I had a baby three weeks ago and she went straight into 0-to three-months clothes so I missed out on using all the newborn clothes I had (luckily I hadn\u2019t bought a single thing myself). I\u2019ll be passing on all those small clothes again to someone who needs them, which makes me feel nice too.\u201d \u2013 Kati O\u2019Gorman, Terenure<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"In our household, my son has a favourite winter gilet that has his neighbour\u2019s name and phone number…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":167327,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[8],"tags":[1153,93,61,60,709,1786,11760],"class_list":["post-167326","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-entertainment","tag-sustainability","tag-entertainment","tag-ie","tag-ireland","tag-magazine","tag-parenting","tag-parents"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/167326","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=167326"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/167326\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/167327"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=167326"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=167326"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=167326"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}