It takes balls to title your book Notes on Being a Man. And, superficially, Scott Galloway could easily be lumped in with a dozen other manosphere-friendly alpha-bros promising to teach young men how to find their inner wolf. He is, after all, a wealthy, healthy, white, heterosexual, shaven-headed, 61-year-old Californian who made his name and fortune as a successful investor and podcaster.<\/p>\n
But in reality, he is almost the opposite: liberal, left-leaning and surprisingly sensitive. The guy who advises his readers on \u201chow to address the masculinity crisis, build mental strength and raise good sons\u201d has been described as a \u201cprogressive Jordan Peterson\u201d, or \u201cGordon Gekko with a social conscience<\/a>\u201d.<\/p>\n Galloway is also sufficiently self-aware not to claim he has all the answers. \u201cI don\u2019t think it would be well received for me to say, \u2018This is how you become a man,\u2019\u201d he says, speaking from his London home. \u201cWhat I\u2019m trying to say is, this is where I\u2019ve had some success, and mostly where I screwed up trying to become a man.\u201d<\/p>\n He moved to the UK from Florida three years ago, partly because he and his wife thought it was a better place to raise their two sons, who are now 15 and 18. \u201cGreat culture, interesting people, the proximity of the continent is amazing, and the Premier League is just fantastic \u2013 there\u2019s nothing like it.\u201d Also: \u201cIf you\u2019re talking about assault rifles or bodily autonomy, it\u2019s not even a discussion here.\u201d He still finds the weather challenging, though.<\/p>\n There\u2019s a studio in the basement where Galloway records his popular podcasts<\/a>: Prof G Pod (business and life wisdom \u2013 and he really is a professor, of marketing, at New York University); Raging Moderates (with the liberal Fox News host Jessica Tarlov); and most popular of all, Pivot<\/a>, with tech journalist Kara Swisher<\/a>. The two of them are good company, comparing their jetset lifestyles, commenting on tech, politics and current affairs, their easy banter peppered with Galloway\u2019s wilfully crude jokes. \u201cWe can rib each other,\u201d he says, \u201cbecause that\u2019s a form of equality and affection.\u201d<\/p>\n \u2018Raging Moderates\u2019 Scott Galloway and Jessica Tarlov in New York in April. Photograph: Cindy Ord\/Getty Images<\/p>\n When Galloway first started talking about masculinity, he says, people weren\u2019t prepared to listen. \u201cIt was like, here\u2019s more misogyny, here\u2019s more men blaming women \u2013 the gag reflex was so strong.\u201d This was about four years ago, but all that has now changed. When Notes On Being a Man was released in early November, it raced to the top of the New York Times advice books bestseller list and Galloway has been in demand in the media ever since, giving his take on what\u2019s wrong with men, and what to do about it.<\/p>\n Galloway has plenty of statistics to back up his claim that young men really are in trouble. Drawing on research by writers such as Richard Reeves<\/a> (author of 2022\u2019s Of Boys and Men) and his NYU colleague Jonathan Haidt<\/a> (whose recent book The Anxious Generation sounded the alarm on social media), he sketches out a landscape of rising rates of everything from boys\u2019 school suspensions to male unemployment, addictions, loneliness, and failure to complete college. \u201cWe\u2019re going to graduate probably two women for every one man from college in the next five years, because men drop out at a greater rate.\u201d<\/p>\n Galloway suggests that the previous denial of the problem, especially by the political left, might even have put Donald Trump back in the White House. \u201cLet me offer that the reason we elected [him] is because of struggling with men.\u201d Two groups that pivoted hardest towards Trump in 2024, he says, were young men, and women aged 45 to 64, and \u201cmy thesis is that\u2019s the mothers of young men.\u201d While Trump embraced the manosphere, the Democrats championed the interests of virtually every special interest group except young men, he argues.<\/p>\n In his book, Galloway\u2019s solutions to men\u2019s problems often boil down to a set of pithy codes and maxims, some of which feel like sound common sense, while others might feel rather old-fashioned. One of his oft-repeated tenets, for example, is that \u201cmen protect, provide, and procreate\u201d. You could easily say the same of women. Also, Galloway tends to see the \u201cprotect\u201d element in the context of men using their physical strength for good \u2013 \u201creal men don\u2019t start bar fights; they break them up\u201d \u2013 even if a lot of the time, the thing people need protection from, especially women, is other men.<\/p>\n And the \u201cprovide\u201d element he couches largely in economic terms. \u201cI tell my sons, when you\u2019re in the company of women, you pay for everything. And if you can\u2019t, you don\u2019t go out \u2026 A woman is not going to have sex with a man who splits the bill with her.\u201d Signalling resource is one of the three things women find most attractive, according to another of his maxims, along with kindness and intellect. He admits his sons tell him this is a boomer view of modern dating, but \u201cI try to go where the data takes me,\u201d he says. \u201cResearch shows that society, and men themselves, are really hard on men when they\u2019re not economically viable.\u201d<\/p>\n A woman is not going to have sex with a man who splits the bill with her<\/p>\n And if men aren\u2019t economically viable, that\u2019s when the problems start, he contends. \u201cThey\u2019re just going to have an absence of mating opportunities. And when men don\u2019t have a romantic relationship, they tend to kind of come off the tracks.\u201d He cites statistics that women fare much better without men than vice versa. \u201cMen have a difficult time maintaining friendships without a romantic partner. They tend to reallocate that energy into conspiracy theory, going extremely online, porn \u2013 and they never develop the skills to establish a romantic relationship.\u201d Galloway has been highly vocal about the tech industry and social media\u2019s role in compounding these problems, by giving men easy dopamine hits and fewer reasons to ever leave their bedrooms. As he puts it, \u201cI worry we are literally evolving a new breed of asexual, asocial male.\u201d<\/p>\n Galloway\u2019s analysis can become somewhat Darwinian and reductive \u2013 a little bit, \u201cmen are this and women are this\u201d, as if there\u2019s a one-size-fits-all set of solutions to these problems \u2013 coloured by nostalgia for a bygone patriarchal order. Nuances of race or sexuality are barely addressed, as Galloway readily admits: \u201cPeople say, well, what\u2019s the masculinity code for gay men? And the honest answer is, I have no fucking idea. I\u2019m not even gonna take a swing at it.\u201d<\/p>\n But isn\u2019t it also a bit \u2026 Jordan Peterson? Peterson proposed his own cure for \u201cthe masculinity crisis\u201d in his bestselling 2018 book 12 Rules for Life<\/a>, which received as much ridicule as it did praise<\/a> \u2013 rule number one was \u201cstand up straight with your shoulders back\u201d. And we\u2019ve had plenty of masculine self-help books in this mould since. Galloway has a surprising respect for Peterson, not least for broaching this subject before it became fashionable. \u201cWhere we differ is that I find that Jordan basically uses his incredible skills of communication and knowledge of psychology to always reverse-engineer into an incredibly conservative viewpoint that sometimes, in my view, takes women\u2019s rights away. That it basically goes back to this notion of \u2018women are happiest when they\u2019re in a supporting role to men\u2019. I just don\u2019t think that\u2019s accurate.\u201d<\/p>\n Galloway in his podcasting studio: \u2018I\u2019m not saying that women need to lower their standards. I think men need to level up.\u2019 Photograph: David Levene\/The Guardian<\/p>\n Galloway is at pains to point out that he\u2019s not blaming women for men\u2019s problems. \u201cI do not think the answer is to in any way economically disadvantage women,\u201d he says. \u201cI\u2019m not trying to repackage violence here and say that women need to lower their standards such that we don\u2019t have a bunch of angry men out there. I think men need to level up. And I think, as a society, we need to implement more programmes to level up all young people.\u201d<\/p>\n Given all this, you wonder why he chose to focus just on men. Beyond his book \u2013 in his TED Talk last year<\/a>, for example \u2013 Galloway has persuasively argued that the real problems facing all of society, especially in the US, are the transfer of wealth and power from the young to the old, and the commercialisation of politics, healthcare and higher education. When it comes down to it, he says, \u201cthis is a battle between liberal and illiberal, it\u2019s not a battle between men and women. The genders have done a great job convincing themselves it\u2019s the other gender\u2019s fault. I just don\u2019t think that\u2019s productive.\u201d<\/p>\n Where Peterson and his ilk seek to trace men\u2019s problems back to the erosion of conservative values, Galloway does some reverse-engineering of his own: back to a place of economic, romantic and especially family security. If there\u2019s a moment \u201cwhen a boy comes off the tracks and develops problems later in life\u201d, he says, \u201cit\u2019s the moment he loses a male role model through death, divorce or abandonment\u201d. The thesis is more personal than his data-driven approach suggests.<\/p>\n skip past newsletter promotion<\/a><\/p>\n Our US morning briefing breaks down the key stories of the day, telling you what\u2019s happening and why it matters<\/p>\n Privacy Notice: Newsletters may contain information about charities, online ads, and content funded by outside parties. If you do not have an account, we will create a guest account for you on theguardian.com<\/a> to send you this newsletter. You can complete full registration at any time. For more information about how we use your data see our Privacy Policy<\/a>. We use Google reCaptcha to protect our website and the Google Privacy Policy<\/a> and Terms of Service<\/a> apply.<\/p>\n after newsletter promotion<\/p>\n What Trump and guys like Elon Musk are doing could not be more anti-masculine<\/p>\n Galloway\u2019s own father and mother emigrated from Scotland and England, respectively, and settled in California in the 1960s, but their American Dream did not last. When Galloway was nine, his father walked out and moved in with another woman, leaving his impoverished mother to bring him up alone. Not exactly a role model, then, but his father, Galloway\u2019s grandfather, was even worse, he says \u2013 an angry alcoholic. \u201cWhen my dad was a very young boy, his father used to come home and wake him and beat him.\u201d It\u2019s a low bar, Galloway admits, but at least his own father was an improvement.<\/p>\n Their relationship taught him a lot, he says. One of his biggest breakthroughs was when he realised that he kept a score card around relationships, starting with his dad. Like, \u201cWhy am I being such a good son when he wasn\u2019t that good a father?\u201d He says he became much happier when he put the score card away and just focused on being the son he wanted to be \u2013 and the husband, partner, friend, co-worker he wanted to be, on his own terms. It\u2019s made him happier and his relationships better, he says. His father died earlier this year. \u201cMy dad softened as he got older, and we had a wonderful relationship the last 20, 30 years of his life.\u201d<\/p>\n When Galloway tells his origin story, he does not paint himself as an exceptional talent. He was unremarkable academically and physically, better at scoring weed than picking up women, it seems. He puts his success as much down to luck and structural advantages: good schooling in a prosperous state in a prosperous country, not being subject to racial or gender discrimination, a loving mother, scraping into a good university (the University of California, Los Angeles). \u201cThe truth is, I was born on third base.\u201d But having grown up relatively poor, economic security was always his motivation. \u201cI took a very much like, \u2018How do you win capitalism?\u2019 approach.\u201d<\/p>\n Pivot Live with Kara Swisher in Austin, Texas earlier this year. Photograph: Chris Saucedo\/SXSW Conference & Festivals\/Getty Images<\/p>\n He was also fortunate to hit his stride as an entrepreneur just as the dotcom boom was beginning, and founded some successful (and some unsuccessful) companies in emerging fields such as e-commerce and digital market research. In 2017 he sold his business intelligence firm L2 for $155m (he estimates his own net worth at about $150m (\u00a3117m)).<\/p>\n Now Galloway divides his time equally between writing, investing and media, including his podcasting network. He is happy in London, but is planning to return to the US next year \u201cto make America America again\u201d. In preparation for the 2026 and \u201928 elections, he wants to help build an informal, Democrat-friendly podcast network, and is already working with several Democratic candidates. \u201cPeople hear all these celebrities talking about how they\u2019re going to leave America. I actually think, when your country isn\u2019t doing well, that\u2019s when you\u2019re supposed to go home.\u201d<\/p>\n Whether or not a crisis among men led to the current regime, the men now in power are definitely not the manly paragons Galloway has in mind. \u201cI would argue that what Trump and guys like Elon Musk are doing could not be more anti-masculine,\u201d he says. \u201cThey have conflated, or tried to conflate, masculinity with coarseness and cruelty. And it\u2019s not only incorrect, it\u2019s a terrible role model for young men.\u201d<\/p>\n Who are Galloway\u2019s role models? The first two he offers are Muhammad Ali and, more surprisingly, Margaret Thatcher. \u201cI don\u2019t know if it\u2019s fair to call her masculine, but I think that kind of strength \u2026\u201d He\u2019s also an admirer of Keanu Reeves, who \u201cgives a lot of his exceptional compensation to other actors, is super kind, donates time, very humble\u201d.<\/p>\n Is Galloway a good role model? He\u2019s not so sure. \u201cPeople say, \u2018Oh, your kids are so lucky to have you,\u2019 and I get self conscious because there are so many weekends where I\u2019m so wrapped up in my own shit and not spending enough time or attention with my kids. I\u2019m not present enough. So I have huge impostor syndrome around this.\u201d<\/p>\n We live in a modern society where people are not going to kill you because you cry, and it just feels really good<\/p>\n For all his life lessons, Galloway is not afraid to admit his own fallibility and vulnerability. When his father died earlier this year, for example, he spoke movingly about it and wept on his Pivot show. Crying is good for men, he argues. \u201cFor the last 3,000 years, we\u2019ve been taught if you demonstrate weakness \u2013 and a way to demonstrate weakness is crying \u2013 that some other dude might take your shit, fuck your wife and eat your children. And so men have been taught to not express that weakness. And the good news is, we live in a modern society where people are not going to kill you because you cry, and it just feels really good.\u201d<\/p>\n He didn\u2019t cry between the ages of 29 and 44, he says. Now \u201cI don\u2019t have anything that [holds] me back from crying. And it\u2019s not an attempt to demonstrate my femininity, it\u2019s just an attempt to slow time down.\u201d<\/p>\n Despite his rigorous fitness regime, his access to luxury experiences and cutting-edge healthcare (including regular testosterone injections), and his embrace of a certain amount of hedonism (he likes his cannabis edibles, he happily declares), Galloway is starting to feel his age.<\/p>\n \u201cWhen you hit about your late 50s, years turn into seasons, seasons turn into months, months into weeks, and it\u2019s like, \u2018Fucking A, the end is barrelling towards us.\u2019 And one of the tricks I found for slowing it down is if you find something that inspires you and really moves you, stop and feel it, and touch it. I walked in Regent\u2019s Park yesterday, and there\u2019s this rose garden there I\u2019d never seen. I\u2019m not into roses, but I just thought, God, this is so cool. So I just stopped and thought, why do I find this interesting? Who does this? Why do they do it?\u201d<\/p>\n He gets emotional every other day now, he says, \u201cin the context of watching Modern Family, or reading something that moves me, or hearing a friend talk about the struggles with their kids. And I\u2019ve generally found that it informs your own emotions, it makes you feel closer to people, and that, for the most part, people are really receptive to it.\u201d Especially other men. Rather than wanting to take his shit away, he says, \u201cthey\u2019re like, Jesus, can I have some of that?\u201d<\/p>\n Maybe this openness to emotion is what really sets Galloway apart from his testosterone-fuelled peers. You can model the alpha-male lifestyle and dispense codes and maxims, but it still takes balls to admit it\u2019s good for guys to cry.<\/p>\n