Holiday expectations often centre on reconnecting with family, spending time with friends, and sharing moments of joy. While those ideas sound comforting, they can sometimes feel more like scenes from a holiday movie than real life.<\/p>\n
The reality is that holiday gatherings do not always take place as expected. Family dynamics, social obligations and personal stressors can make the season emotionally challenging.<\/p>\n
To better understand how people can protect their mental health during this time, Victoria News spoke with Tara Wolff, executive director of the Sooke Transition House Society, and professor Frederick Grouzet from the University of Victoria.<\/p>\n
Wolff emphasized the importance of setting boundaries and awareness of emotional triggers, particularly when spending time with family.<\/p>\n
\u201cThere can be long-standing patterns and emotional triggers within families,\u201d Wolff said. \u201cPsychologists refer to this as regression into childhood roles. In families where there is tension, it can suddenly feel as though people are children again.\u201d<\/p>\n
She explained that recognizing specific triggers ahead of time can help people feel more grounded. Knowing which interactions feel uncomfortable, deciding how much time to spend in those situations and preparing responses in advance can help reduce emotional strain.<\/p>\n
\u201cIf certain questions come up every holiday and they\u2019re triggering, it can be helpful to know how to respond beforehand,\u201d Wolff said. She added that maintaining control over how long a conversation lasts and knowing when to step away can also be helpful.<\/p>\n
\u201cSpending a few minutes with someone, wishing them well, and then politely excusing yourself to speak with someone else is often enough,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n
Professor Grouzet echoed the importance of boundaries, and emphasized the importance of carving out time for rest and self-care, whether that means taking a walk, spending time alone or stepping outside briefly to recharge.<\/p>\n
\u201cIn order to regain energy, people often need moments of isolation,\u201d Grouzet said.<\/p>\n
Creating and maintaining boundaries can be difficult, especially during the holidays, but Grouzet said communication remains essential. \u201cThere\u2019s no magic formula other than communicating clearly,\u201d he said. \u201cIt\u2019s important to express what feels comfortable and what does not.\u201d<\/p>\n
Other than having to deal with family and friends that could make you uncomfortable, finances are also a major source of stress during the holidays. Wolff noted that financial pressure can intensify emotions and contribute to feelings of inadequacy.<\/p>\n
\u201cThe most important thing is to be compassionate with yourself,\u201d she said. \u201cThis is a challenging time of the year, and big emotions can come up.\u201d<\/p>\n
She added that societal pressure often ties the value of the holidays to spending, even though meaningful connections used to be the focus.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s OK to prioritize meaning over money,\u201d Wolff said. \u201cLow-cost traditions, homemade gifts or experiential gifts can be just as meaningful.\u201d<\/p>\n
Wolff also encouraged people to plan holidays around what brings joy and aligns with personal energy, rather than financial obligations.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s OK to say no to events that don\u2019t feel right,\u201d she said. The holidays can be especially difficult for those who spend them alone, including immigrants, those who have moved away from family, or those without close social connections.<\/p>\n
\u201cBeing alone during the holidays can also be an opportunity for rest and renewal,\u201d Wolff said. \u201cThe goal is to find what makes the time meaningful.\u201d She suggested creating comforting rituals, such as cooking smaller meals, decorating personal spaces, lighting candles or playing holiday music and movies throughout the day.<\/p>\n
Acknowledging feelings without judgment is also important, she added.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s normal to feel lonely,\u201d Wolff said. \u201cSupport lines like 988 are available, even if someone isn\u2019t in crisis. Many people reach out simply for connection.\u201d<\/p>\n
Grouzet pointed to psychological research showing that giving can be a solution to loneliness. \u201cWhen we give, we receive,\u201d he said. \u201cSpending time or energy helping others can be deeply rewarding.\u201d<\/p>\n
He suggested community spaces and volunteering as ways to create connection during the season.<\/p>\n
\u201cSometimes, support is found by offering support,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n
Grouzet also highlighted an often-overlooked challenge children face during the holidays: comparison.<\/p>\n
\u201cAdults sometimes compare children to one another, which can be hurtful,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n
According to him, at social gatherings, adults tend to compare children based on the clothes they are wearing, their grades or the kind of property their parents own.<\/p>\n
\u201cParents play an important role in explaining that what truly matters isn\u2019t always what can be seen or measured.\u201d Both experts emphasized that there is no single \u201cright\u201d way to experience the season. Whether spent with family, friends, community, or alone, the holidays can look different for every single one of us, and it needs to be understood with compassion and empathy.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Holiday expectations often centre on reconnecting with family, spending time with friends, and sharing moments of joy. While…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":213107,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[35],"tags":[103,61,60,410,411],"class_list":{"0":"post-213106","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-mental-health","8":"tag-health","9":"tag-ie","10":"tag-ireland","11":"tag-mental-health","12":"tag-mentalhealth"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/213106","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=213106"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/213106\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/213107"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=213106"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=213106"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=213106"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}