We begin with Eberechi Eze\u2019s rarely-seen wife but move on to Lisandro Martinez being given some advice by an old man.<\/p>\n
Know your place, Lisandro. And switch off your phone. Can it be a new rule at Manchester United?<\/p>\n
\u00a0<\/p>\n
Eze does it<\/p>\n
The top story in the whole wide of football on Tuesday morning according to The Sun:<\/p>\n
Arsenal star Eberechi Eze reveals how rarely-seen wife Izuthe keeps him \u2018grounded\u2019 and is key to his success<\/p>\n
Pretty sure he sees her, fellas. Just because you didn\u2019t have a zillion photos of her in bikinis in your media archive\u2026<\/p>\n
\u00a0<\/p>\n
Who thinks Butt and Scholes were blameless?<\/p>\n
Elsewhere, there is an awful lot of talk about Lisandro Martinez and his \u2018spat\u2019<\/a> (does anybody ever use the word \u2018spat\u2019 in real life?) with Nicky Butt and Paul Scholes. It dominates the Daily Mail:<\/p>\n There\u2019s only one winner in the childish feud between Lisandro Martinez, Paul Scholes and Nicky Butt \u2013 here\u2019s what the Man United star should do next, writes IAN LADYMAN<\/p>\n Reel in shock as middle-aged English white man sides with other middle-aged English white men and says that Lisandro Martinez should really know his place.<\/p>\n Moving forward, the path ahead for the likes of Martinez would appear to be clear. Just turn your phone off and play better.<\/p>\n There you go. Turn your phone off and play better. Simple.<\/p>\n And presumably ignore journalists \u2013 including Ladyman\u2019s Daily Mail colleague Chris Wheeler \u2013 when they ask you about former Manchester United stars absolutely crossing the line between acceptable criticism of football performance and jibes about his stature.<\/p>\n Lest we forget, Butt predicted on a podcast \u2013 to great guffaws \u2013 that Erling Haaland would \u201cpick Martinez up and run with him\u201d and that their battle at Old Trafford on Saturday would resemble \u201ca dad after school running down the road with a little toddler\u201d.<\/p>\n Scholes then added that Haaland would \u201cscore, then throw him in the net\u201d because banter.<\/p>\n Just turn your phone off and get taller, Lisandro.<\/p>\n So having been criticised extensively on a podcast, Martinez literally answered some journalists\u2019 questions, beginning with \u201chonestly, he can say whatever he wants\u201d and he is in the wrong? Apparently yes\u2026<\/p>\n The Argentina defender was magnificent at the weekend as United tore Manchester City to pieces with a throwback performance at Old Trafford. But taking to social media afterwards to goad Scholes and his podcast partner Nicky Butt \u2013 who simply will not give a damn \u2013 over comments they made in the build-up was utterly self-defeating and only serves to fan the flames of an issue that new head coach Michael Carrick needs to die down as soon as possible.<\/p>\n He didn\u2019t \u2018take to social media afterwards\u2019, Ian; he was literally asked some questions by your colleagues in the media.<\/p>\n You know who then did take to social media? Paul Scholes, who replied via Instagram. Then Butt replied via the medium of a podcast. Like the big men they are.<\/p>\n This, by the way, is tremendous work:<\/p>\n \ud83d\udde3\ufe0f \u201cWe exchanged messages on Instagram\u2026 I sent him my phone number, I\u2019ve not heard anything from him!\u201d<\/p>\n Paul Scholes & Nicky Butt break their silence on the Lisandro Martinez controversy! \ud83d\udc40 pic.twitter.com\/kvNQAE491Y<\/a><\/p>\n \u2014 The Good, The Bad & The Football (@goodbadftblpod) January 19, 2026<\/a><\/p>\n Please God let there ever be a silence to break.<\/p>\n Ladyman ends by writing:<\/p>\n The whole saga has felt a little unedifying but Martinez presented his response during 95 excellent minutes on the field on Saturday. That was his answer \u2013 that was the best of him \u2013 and as such it needed no further decoration or elaboration.<\/p>\n Then here\u2019s an idea: Don\u2019t sodding ask him.<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n I got new rules, I count \u2019em<\/p>\n Perhaps Michael Carrick could introduce some new rules about \u2018just turning off your phone and playing better\u2019 at Manchester United.<\/p>\n After all, this is a time of change at the club. As reported by the Manchester Evening News:<\/p>\n Michael Carrick brings in new Man United rule straight away after Ruben Amorim\u2019s \u2018bans\u2019<\/p>\n And what is this \u2018new Man United rule\u2019?<\/p>\n This marked shift could be down to a new rule Carrick quickly implemented upon taking charge. As reported by the Daily Mail, the 44-year-old has made training sessions at Carrington shorter but more intense in an effort to improve results this season.<\/p>\n Is that a \u2018rule\u2019? Or is it a time-table change? We know the answer, but we also know the answer to \u2018what makes a better headline?\u2019.<\/p>\n The Express bring us this belter: \u2018Michael Carrick immediately introduces new rule at Man Utd as senior stars \u2018take action\u2019.\u2019<\/p>\n Are we supposed to believe that the senior players have \u2018taken action\u2019 against this new rule? Of course. Is this true? Is it balls.<\/p>\n And what\u2019s this \u2018new rule\u2019:<\/p>\n Michael Carrick has immediately introduced a new rule at Manchester United, placing greater emphasis on individual work with specific players in training.<\/p>\n Still not a f***ing rule.<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n But away from Manchester United\u2026<\/p>\n \u2018Controversial former Premier League star looks unrecognisable with completely different hairstyle\u2019, claims The Sun. Above a picture of the most Neal Maupay-ish man imaginable. With some hair.<\/p>\n Can\u2019t believe this is Neal Maupay\ud83d\ude02\ud83d\ude02\ud83d\ude02 pic.twitter.com\/UV6JQ2fc8L<\/a><\/p>\n \u2014 The 44 \u26bd\ufe0f (@The_Forty_Four) January 19, 2026<\/a><\/p>\n More as we get it.<\/p>\n