![\"Sign](\"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/Z2IMEE234NDYJG35TCB376FG4M.jpg\")
Sign up for Parenting Unfiltered.Globe staff<\/p>\n
Acknowledge that your feelings are exhausting, and you don\u2019t need to be on your game right now. \u201cWe\u2019re struggling because we\u2019re human. We\u2019re taking in so much grief, tragedy, and moral injury while simultaneously moving through our days and doing typical parenting tasks and challenges,\u201d Burch says. \u201cFor a lot of parents, that brings up this real sense of whiplash, which causes guilt and sadness and numbness and anger.\u201d<\/p>\n
Many of Burch\u2019s clients feel guilty even for feeling happy or secure. If we\u2019re flooded with convulsing emotions, we should aim for lowest-common-denominator parenting. <\/p>\n
\u201cLower the bar on purpose. This is not a moment to be perfect. It\u2019s more important to keep things stable, consistent, and loving: just those parenting basics for you and for your kids,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n
You can feel multiple ways at once. \u201cFramework one for parents to think about is dialectics: Many things that seem to be opposite can be true at the same time. \u2026 I can feel burned out, and I can also enjoy the fact that my child was hilarious eating their breakfast this morning,\u201c Burch says. \u201dSometimes, in times of stress, we can get very black and white. But we know from research that psychological health improves when we can hold opposing truths.\u201d<\/p>\n
You don\u2019t have to shield your kids from all emotions. \u201cParents often feel like we need to hide our emotions from our kids to protect them,\u201d Burch says. \u201cBut kids pick up on our feelings. They\u2019re really good detectors of when we\u2019re not being genuine. And there\u2019s actually research that supports this: Kids tend to do best when parents actually acknowledge their emotions without suppressing them or amplifying them.\u201d<\/p>\n
What does that look like? Even saying something like, \u201cI\u2019m feeling sad today, but it\u2019s not something you need to fix.\u201d This is about acknowledging the heaviness without putting it on your kid to lift.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s healthy, not defeatist, to selectively disengage from the news. \u201cI think we feel a responsibility to stay informed, but this really should be based on your capacity on a given day,\u201d Burch says. <\/p>\n
Otherwise, we become desensitized and increasingly detached. <\/p>\n
\u201cParents describe to me feeling an increase in outrage and an increase in all-or-nothing thinking about issues that are nuanced,\u201d she says. <\/p>\n
Burch suggests creating boundaries for consuming news that are based on time, not emotion: \u201cCheck once in the morning and once at night, not whenever [your] text chain explodes about a breaking news item,\u201d she says. \u201cYou\u2019re not avoiding; you\u2019re not putting your head in the sand, but you\u2019re pacing yourself. You\u2019re staying informed in ways that allow you to still function.\u201d <\/p>\n
Be nice to yourself. No, really. Self-compassion \u201cis one of the most powerful psychological tools we have\u201d to combat stress, Burch says. (That and my personal favorite, gorging on Chex Mix.)<\/p>\n
Burch uses a framework created by University of Texas self-compassion researcher Kristin Neff: One, acknowledge that you feel sad. Two, connect with common humanity \u2014 \u201cthis sense of, I\u2019m not alone in my worry,\u201d she says. Third, show yourself kindness. Maybe it\u2019s super-simple: taking a few slow breaths. Maybe it\u2019s going for a walk without your phone and getting some sunlight. Regardless, this is about intentionally showing micro-kindnesses to yourself, she says \u2014 which is something you can control in an unpredictable world.<\/p>\n
Find small ways to regain your sense of autonomy. \u201cWhen we have this sense that we can\u2019t control things, and the world is spinning too fast, finding small steps that are in our control can help to restore some sense of agency,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n
These steps should reflect your values, not what social media or anyone else thinks you should do.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe get a lot of examples on social media, perhaps, of the quote-unquote right way to show up during tragedy. Notice that pull and then come back to your own values,\u201d she says, whether it\u2019s volunteering at a food bank or shoveling your neighbor\u2019s sidewalk.<\/p>\n
Ground yourself in the now, because you\u2019re not a jerk for feeling joy. If you\u2019re having fun sledding with your kids, embrace it. <\/p>\n
\u201cI often tell my clients that it\u2019s kind of like our thoughts are a river flowing by. Before we know it, we\u2019ve jumped in, we\u2019re swimming, and our kids are on the shore, going: \u2018Wait; I\u2019m here, too,\u2019\u201d Burch says.<\/p>\n
Instead, \u201cOur physical senses are really helpful for grounding us: noticing the snowflakes in my kids\u2019 hair, the temperature on my skin, the noise that I hear while we\u2019re sledding,\u201d she says. <\/p>\n
If you feel the urge to disassociate and stew, don\u2019t berate yourself. She urges clients to set a timer \u2014 in 30 minutes, say, you\u2019ll worry about whatever\u2019s bugging you. But, until then, give yourself permission to set a boundary. <\/p>\n
Lastly, mental health isn\u2019t driven by the news alone. Many of us are dealing with ongoing slogs, from perimenopause to aging parents to financial worries to kids with their own mental health struggles. Set small, easily replicable rituals.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe know social connection and support is tremendously helpful when people are suffering with their mental health. It doesn\u2019t have to be this big song and dance, but it\u2019s looking for consistent moments each day to take steps towards taking care of yourself,\u201d Burch says.<\/p>\n
One way to do this? Opening up to your kids, depending on their age. Teenagers especially are super savvy, and they might create narratives about why you\u2019re sniffling at the sink or hanging out in your room a lot.<\/p>\n
\u201cTeens have access to a lot of misinformation in terms of what\u2019s out there about mental health on social media. Conversations are a real opportunity to clear up any misconceptions and get the facts straight. You don\u2019t need to give graphic details about what you\u2019re experiencing \u2014 your teen doesn\u2019t need to take that on \u2014 but you can explain: \u2018I\u2019m getting some help for depression right now\u2019 \u2026 and this can become a point of conversation and connection for families,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n
Kara Baskin can be reached at kara.baskin@globe.com<\/a>. Follow her @kcbaskin<\/a>.<\/p>\n