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Donald Trump<\/a> finally figured out a way to keep late-night hosts from getting big laughs mocking him: Keep talking so long that their shows start really late, the audiences go numb from sitting around so long, and the writers go half to sleep.<\/p>\n In theory, Stephen Colbert<\/a> and Jimmy Kimmel<\/a> both had a great idea: try to jump on whatever craziness the President stuffed his State of the Union address with and present hot takes with fresh jokes on live (or, in Kimmel\u2019s case, near-live) shows.<\/p>\n But after the longest SOTU address in American history\u2014filled with all-too-familiar riffs on the greatness of MAGA, dubious stats that everyone has heard before, and a sort of parody of game show prize giveaways (\u201cYou get a medal! You get a medal!\u201d)\u2014the plan lost much of its promise Tuesday night.<\/p>\n Colbert, who has made the live post-address show a staple<\/a> of his tenure on CBS\u2019s The Late Show<\/a>, seemed especially affected by the long night\u2019s journey into a daze. He came out pumped, his audience greeted him with an enduring, affectionate ovation, and that just about exhausted the energy in the room.<\/p>\n Rarely has Colbert\u2019s monologue played as flat as it did last night. The deadening effect of the long wait through the Democratic rebuttal and the late local newscasts can\u2019t have helped.<\/p>\n But the material didn\u2019t rouse the crowd back to alertness, proving that even the best writers can struggle when they are on the clock.<\/p>\n Playing off the speech\u2019s theme of America as \u201cstrong, prosperous, and respected,\u201d Colbert joked it recalled the theme of a Bill Clinton<\/a> edition: \u201cI like big butts and I cannot lie.\u201d Presumably that earned a laugh in the writers\u2019 room. On the air, it just earned dead air.<\/p>\n Something about Trump being as unpopular as a Lion King sequel about Jafar, and an attempt to play with the similar-sounding names of Democratic senators who didn\u2019t attend\u2014Murphy, Markey, and Merkley\u2014just seemed to confuse the up-too-late crowd in the seats.<\/p>\n A few lines played better\u2014the women\u2019s hockey team declining to attend was summed up as \u201cPuck, no!\u201d\u2014but it was, by Colbert\u2019s usual standards, a low-scoring spin around the rink.<\/p>\n The advantage of having more time to compose jokes was somewhat apparent in Colbert\u2019s frequent Act Two bit, \u201cMeanwhile.\u201d That segment did produce at least one more elegantly crafted example: about the discovery of a man with three penises, which Colbert attributed to the scientific experts at \u201cJohnson, Johnson, and Johnson.\u201d<\/p>\n Meanwhile, out on the West Coast\u2014where the three-hour time difference had clearly convinced Jimmy Kimmel and his staff that they\u2019d be able to put together a show that could comment on the speech without being actually live\u2014the plan ran head-on into the same long-winded blowing from the Capitol.<\/p>\n Kimmel acknowledged that the idea had been to seize the opportunity to comment immediately on the speech, but they were compelled to start the show while Trump was still speaking.<\/p>\n At least his audience didn\u2019t have to sit unentertained for as long as Colbert\u2019s. Their energy level was notably higher, as was the host\u2019s.<\/p>\n And the jokes were better. Example: \u201cThe speech went on so long, Kristi Noem\u2019s dog shot him-self.\u201d<\/p>\n There was also some prepared, heavier-hitting anti-Trump material, in the form of a pair of pre-tapes:<\/p>\n A faux Sergeant at Arms introduced the president in stentorian voice as all the things he has claimed he is, including rightful winner of the Nobel Peace Prize, undisputed champion of beautiful clean coal, someone who doesn\u2019t wear diapers and has no idea his best friend was a pedophile; and a faux J.D. Vance, so riled up from all the standing and sitting\u2014and Trump referring to America as \u201cthe hottest country anywhere in the world\u201d\u2014that he started humping his big chair behind the podium.<\/p>\n Kimmel could also reach into what\u2019s becoming an evergreen joke about Trump\u2019s collapsing approval ratings, noting that the President is now less popular than chlamydia.<\/p>\n It was a more successful effort at instant-skewering analysis under difficult circumstances.<\/p>\n Both shows went with opening guests aimed at functioning as political commentators, much as you would have seen on the cable news channels.<\/p>\n That may have been intended as an \u201coh yeah\u201d directed at the ever-watching, ever-hopeful regulatory executioner Brendan Carr<\/a>, because it sure played like real, not fake, news.<\/p>\n![\"YouTube](\"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/1772020089_950_maxresdefault.jpg\"\/)
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