{"id":317833,"date":"2026-02-26T06:57:10","date_gmt":"2026-02-26T06:57:10","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/317833\/"},"modified":"2026-02-26T06:57:10","modified_gmt":"2026-02-26T06:57:10","slug":"they-wont-want-to-speak-to-you-every-time-thats-not-realistic-the-irish-times","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/317833\/","title":{"rendered":"\u2018They won\u2019t want to speak to you every time, that\u2019s not realistic\u2019 \u2013 The Irish Times"},"content":{"rendered":"

After a 36-year career in Aer Lingus that included several customer-facing roles, Reena Ryan says, with a knowing smile, she has a bit of experience dealing with people. Nothing, she adds, however, had entirely prepared her for volunteering to work with people who have dementia<\/a>.<\/p>\n

She has been doing just that for more than a year now, as a barista for a few hours a week at St Joseph\u2019s in Shankill, Co Dublin, a St John of God<\/a>-run facility described as the country\u2019s largest such place solely dedicated to dementia care, and helping out in whatever other ways she can about the place.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe do a mean cappuccino,\u201d she says like she means it, \u201cand I also do activities on a Friday morning \u2013 softball exercises, fun and games, movement. I love it. Whatever you give, you get back in spades.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ryan, from Blackrock in Dublin, was one of many of the centre\u2019s 120 volunteers to attend a recent event to launch a report on how the programme they participate in might be replicated across the sector, enhancing not just the lives of the growing number of people living with dementia in nursing homes but also of those who, like her, have some time on their hands and a desire to make a positive impact.<\/p>\n

Graham Murray, an accountant with Bank of Ireland, traces his own involvement back in part to a kidney transplant he had more than 15 years ago, and how good everyone in his life, including his employers, were to him at the time.<\/p>\n

[\u00a0\u2018You can never replace it\u2019: The artist capturing precious memories from dementia patientsOpens in new window<\/a>\u00a0]<\/p>\n

\u201cI wanted to give something back,\u201d he says. \u201cIt was between this and Tidy Towns<\/a> for me, but I live across the road.\u201d<\/p>\n

Murray has been coming to the centre for about five years, a portion of that time during Covid<\/a>, when one of the roles he performed was disinfecting furniture between family visits.<\/p>\n

\"VolunteersVolunteers Rachael Davies and Graham Murray speak at the Volunteer Day launch of St Joseph\u2019s Shankill & Dublin City University research on the impact of structured volunteering in dementia care. Photograph: Nick Bradshaw\/The Irish Times <\/p>\n

Now, most his time at the centre involves just sitting with residents, chatting, engaging with them, playing games and sometimes helping them adjust to the fact they are living in a new environment, one shared with people they didn\u2019t actually choose.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re that bit older, living with eight to 10 people in a house together. You have all these different personalities and the commonality is they all have the one disease, that they all need support and care. Of course, people are going to spark off each other from time to time, it\u2019s only natural you know, but you take them aside, have a bit of a chat, maybe get someone else to speak to the other person and let it all calm down.\u201d<\/p>\n

This, Murray says, is at the more challenging end of the role. He also recalls being upset when he started over some of the residents having dolls they believed to be their children. \u201cBut you get training, and the staff are so good; you can speak with them any time. There\u2019s a great support network, and then there are the really positive moments, when you know you\u2019ve made a connection, a difference to a person. One of those could give you enough satisfaction for a year.\u201d<\/p>\n

All of the volunteers speak movingly about the sense of family and those moments of connection.<\/p>\n

Rachael Davies got involved because after her marriage broke up, she found she had time on her hands. \u201cI was in a really bad place,\u201d she recalls, \u201cand needed to get myself out, socially, to meet people. Coming here, I just found talking to the families, or especially the residents \u2013 you were able to forget about your own problems for those two hours. Everyone has a story to tell.\u201d<\/p>\n

She and Jenny Lewis, sitting a few feet away as we speak, run musical quizzes for the residents. \u201cIt\u2019s amazing how much the music means to them,\u201d says Davies. \u201cThey all like different things, one loves Elvis, another is more into rock. Some of them love Joe Dolan,\u201d she says. \u201cBut you might say to them: \u2018Oh, do you remember that Joe Dolan song? What\u2019s the start of it?\u2019 And they\u2019re like: \u2018No\u2019. <\/p>\n

\"PeterPeter Slater with volunteer Rachael Davies: ‘It\u2019s amazing how much the music means to the [residents],’ says Davies. ‘They all like different things, one loves Elvis, another is more into rock. Some of them love Joe Dolan.’ Photograph: Nick Bradshaw\/The Irish Times <\/p>\n

\u201cThen you put it on and they just start singing all the words and they go back to the memories of the time associated with that particular song. It\u2019s truly amazing what music does. Incredible.\u201d<\/p>\n

[\u00a0Siblings urged to seek mediation in dispute over care of mother with dementiaOpens in new window<\/a>\u00a0]<\/p>\n

Lewis started coming to St Joseph\u2019s after having been volunteering at a Covid centre where somebody mentioned the programme to her. She too says she gets far more back than she gives, but says every visit is different. \u201cYou can\u2019t plan for how people are going to be with you week to week. You are going into their home, you have to respect that, and they won\u2019t want to speak to you every time, that\u2019s not realistic. Sometimes things don\u2019t work between the residents, between them and you; you just have to be in tune with that.\u201d<\/p>\n

The residents are residents because they are unwell, she says, and volunteers need to be conscious of that.<\/p>\n

Lucy Shepard, another of the volunteers who has come for the launch, talks about having brought her (recently deceased father) Joseph Pheifer to St Joseph\u2019s for daycare 12 years ago. \u201cI walked through the door to be greeted by this absolute feeling of support and love, from the people at the reception desk, the other staff, the volunteers. It was phenomenal.\u201d<\/p>\n

She got involved five years ago and has had a variety of roles since, including helping with an online day centre intended to maintain connections through Covid.<\/p>\n

Nicola Yau is programme co-ordinator for seven years, since a fundraising manager, Siobh\u00e1n Grant, who had previously worked for Special Olympics, felt there was potential to have volunteers in to support staff and enhance work the centre could do for residents and those attending from outside. Since proving its worth, Niamh Moore has also been employed as a volunteer support and community support officer. <\/p>\n

\"VolunteerVolunteer support and community support officer Niamh Moore and programme co-ordinator Nicola Yau during the Volunteer Day Launch of the St Joseph\u2019s Shankill & Dublin City University research. Photograph Nick Bradshaw\/The Irish Times <\/p>\n

The research in the report, which included interviews with 75 people across four stakeholder groups, carried out in consultation with DCU, concluded that the programme was \u201clife-changing for people living with dementia, their families, staff and the volunteers themselves\u201d.<\/p>\n

\u201cBut it\u2019s not just the volunteer programme,\u201d says Yau. \u201cWe do all these community things as well. The cafe took an awful lot of work to get set up and going. But then we do bowling in the community. We do a cinema club, we do cognitive stimulation\u2026 all with volunteers involved.\u201d<\/p>\n

It is, she says, a unique initiative, but one with enormous potential to be rolled out across the sector. \u201cWe\u2019d love to see something like this done in every nursing home,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n

[\u00a0\u2018My wife has been diagnosed with dementia and I\u2019m upset we have not had the chance to realise our dreams\u2019Opens in new window<\/a>\u00a0]<\/p>\n

With more than 80,000 people in Ireland believed to be affected by dementia now, a number expected to almost double to 150,000 by 2045, the need for more assistance is certainly clear.<\/p>\n

At present, Yau says, the programme is augmented by people who are paid, such as a musician whose visits are funded through a grant from D\u00fan Laoghaire-Rathdown County Council. However, the programme has 120 unpaid volunteers, with St Joseph\u2019s generally limiting contributions from each to a couple of hours a week, in order to ensure they don\u2019t become burned out.<\/p>\n

At Nursing Homes Ireland<\/a>, chief executive Tadhg Daly says there are many initiatives around the country intended to improve the experience of residents, but he says the programme at St Joseph\u2019s is \u201cspecial and well developed\u201d.<\/p>\n

\"TadhgTadhg Daly, chief executive, Nursing Homes Ireland. <\/p>\n

\u201cAll homes will have dedicated activities staff and they will run a very diverse and engaging programme tailored to group activities and individuals as required. The activities teams will engage external personnel to support, both paid and volunteers,\u201d he says. <\/p>\n

NHI, he says, also works with groups such as Friends of the Elderly<\/a> and Irish Therapy Dogs.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"After a 36-year career in Aer Lingus that included several customer-facing roles, Reena Ryan says, with a knowing…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":317834,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[10],"tags":[160,2926,148179,103,61,60,93498,148178,63001],"class_list":["post-317833","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-health","tag-covid-19","tag-dementia","tag-friends-of-the-elderly-ireland","tag-health","tag-ie","tag-ireland","tag-nursing-homes-ireland","tag-st-john-of-god-community-services","tag-tidy-towns"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/317833","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=317833"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/317833\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/317834"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=317833"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=317833"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=317833"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}