{"id":335491,"date":"2026-03-08T14:40:07","date_gmt":"2026-03-08T14:40:07","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/335491\/"},"modified":"2026-03-08T14:40:07","modified_gmt":"2026-03-08T14:40:07","slug":"readers-give-their-views-on-eulogies-the-irish-times","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/335491\/","title":{"rendered":"readers give their views on eulogies \u2013 The Irish Times"},"content":{"rendered":"

Nine out of 10 people believe families should have the right to deliver a eulogy at the funeral Mass of a relative, a survey has found<\/a>.<\/p>\n

The issue of eulogies is a controversial one especially for Catholics <\/a>\u202fin many parts of the country as several dioceses\u202fdo not allow them. <\/p>\n

The Irish Times asked readers for their thoughts on the issue. <\/p>\n

Moya N\u00ed Cheallaigh, from Co Limerick, finds it \u201cvery sad these days when so often the priest does not know the deceased and is just going through the motions\u201d. <\/p>\n

\u201cI love when there is a eulogy which tells me about the real actual person for whom we have gathered to pay our respects,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n

[\u00a090% of Irish people believe eulogies at funerals should be allowed, survey indicatesOpens in new window<\/a>\u00a0]<\/p>\n

N\u00ed Cheallaigh gave the eulogy for her own mother in 2010 when she died suddenly from an aneurysm. <\/p>\n

Three years earlier, she had taken notes when chatting to her one night in front of the fire. <\/p>\n

\u201cThey included instructions like \u2018I want you to tell everyone how much I loved birds and nature, and singing. And that I played tennis and piano back in the day and sold my first painting when I was 75! Tell them how much I missed your dad but how much their friendships meant to me … and above all don\u2019t scrimp on the food!\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n

N\u00ed Cheallaigh said she began the eulogy by quoting her mother directly and \u201cdid her justice judging by the laughs and smiles of empathy\u201d. <\/p>\n

A good eulogy \u201ccan be a cathartic and meaningful experience for the giver and their audience\u201d, she said. <\/p>\n

[\u00a0We\u2019re not bouncy castle Catholics \u2013 we\u2019re the incense and eulogies kindOpens in new window<\/a>\u00a0]<\/p>\n

Laura Devenney, who is not religious but has attended Catholic, Anglican and humanist funerals in the last year, said a eulogy adds \u201ca much needed personal touch to religious services\u201d. <\/p>\n

\u201cOften the priest or minister will not know the person who has passed away on a personal level so the eulogy is much more personal,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n

\u201cNothing compares with the humanist ceremony I attended last year, where the entire ceremony was personalised and felt like a beautiful tribute and celebration of the person\u2019s life. But I understand this is not for everyone, so I do think a eulogy gives this option in religious services,\u201d Devenney said. <\/p>\n

Nicola Dennehy, of Co Cork, whose husband Denis died six weeks ago, felt similarly and decided to \u201cskip the church altogether\u201d to honour her husband. <\/p>\n

\u201cWe had a fantastic celebrant at the crematorium who actually spoke about the things my husband loved. Then both my brother in law and I got to speak about him. It felt so much more fitting and personal than a mass would have been,\u201d she said. <\/p>\n

\u201cThe only thing I\u2019d have changed was having to do it at all.\u201d <\/p>\n

For others, funerals at a church are just as meaningful, but many readers said they still prefer when there is a eulogy. TJ Fleming, from Co Mayo, said \u201cbeing able to say a few words to remember a loved one is often a very important element in funerals in south Mayo and the west in general\u201d.<\/p>\n

\u201cA eulogy is generally kept to a few minutes and very much depends on the deceased person. Maybe none at all for a very aged person who was not active in the community for some years, longer for a sudden death of a well-known person and a very different approach for the death of a young person or where their might have been a suicide,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe general advice is to understand the nature of the occasion, remembering it is not a best man\u2019s speech at a wedding or an entertaining speech, or after-dinner speech,\u201d he said. <\/p>\n

Joe Mullan, who is a parish priest in Co Dublin, said he always allows people to speak at the end of Mass if that is what they wish to do. <\/p>\n

\u201cWhen we meet with families to prepare a funeral liturgy this topic is discussed. Very reasonable guidelines about length and content are discussed and any issues that need to be addressed are explored. With about 50 funerals a year, I can say that most people who speak, use less than 10 minutes, are sensitive to the environment of the church and solemnity of the liturgy and a respectful and appropriate address is given,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

For Shane Bradley, based in Co Dublin, the demand for eulogies at Catholic funerals was \u201cunderstandable\u201d but was \u201cevidence of the decline of faith\u201d. <\/p>\n

\u201cFor a believer, the funeral is about God and not the deceased,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Nine out of 10 people believe families should have the right to deliver a eulogy at the funeral…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":335492,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[12780,61,60,43],"class_list":["post-335491","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-ireland","tag-catholic-church","tag-ie","tag-ireland","tag-news"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/335491","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=335491"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/335491\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/335492"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=335491"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=335491"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=335491"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}