Donald Trump summons the Defense secretary to explain why the U.S. has “won” the war against Iran and why the media should stop worrying about it<\/p>\n
\n\tSaturday Night Live<\/a>\u2018s Pete Hegseth has a solution for oil tankers stuck in the Strait of Hormuz by the threat of Iranian mines: do what he used to do at DUI checkpoints.<\/p>\n \n\tThe Defense secretary (Colin Jost) was summoned by Donald Trump<\/a> (James Austin Johnson) at a gas station after the president tried to explain away his broken campaign promises of no new wars and low gas prices. And Hegseth, emerging from the back seat of a family\u2019s car along with dozens of empty beer cans, began by complaining about<\/a> the press questioning him and the administration about the war<\/a>, which reportedly cost about $11.3 billion<\/a> in just the first week.<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cThe news is: we won! Hashtag \u2018winning!\u2019 So you can stop asking me all about it. Don\u2019t even worry about it<\/a>,\u201d he said. \u201cThe real problem is all you gaybies\u2014gay babies, copyright\u2014all you gaybies in the media are completely unpatriotic, okay? They\u2019re using what I do and say to make me look like a fool!\u201d<\/p>\n \n\tHe continued: \u201cAnd all you dweebs, stop saying the Strait of Hormuz is closed: it\u2019s wide open.\u201d<\/p>\n \t\tTrending Stories<\/p>\n