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EVERY TIME Carlee D., 35, calls her dad, he tells her about a new health and fitness pursuit. \u201cHe\u2019ll talk about, \u2018Oh I\u2019ve only been eating sardines and peanut butter,\u2019\u201d she says. For as long as she can remember, most of the conversations with her dad have revolved around food, exercise, and bodies. \u201cAnd if he\u2019s not talking about his, he\u2019ll ask me and my siblings about ours,\u201d she says. <\/p>\n
If Carlee’s dad were a woman, there\u2019d be a label for what he is: an almond mom<\/a>. You know, the female guardian satirized online as always counting calories, obsessing over her and her kids\u2019 size, and bragging about how little she ate that day. (The term appears to have originated from an old episode of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills<\/a> where Yolanda Hadid tells her daughter Gigi Hadid<\/a> to \u201chave a couple of almonds, and chew them really well,\u201d after Gigi said that she was feeling weak.) <\/p>\n A lot of the time, these moms are simply (and unhealthily) dealing with the impact diet culture<\/a> has had on them, says Sadi Fox, PhD, a therapist and eating disorder specialist at Flourish Psychology in Brooklyn. They might be experiencing disordered eating or an eating disorder<\/a> themselves\u2014but their comments and behavior could result in the same conditions for their kids. <\/p>\n Less has been said about how father figures can play into this dynamic, even though experts say they can have an equally devastating impact on their kids\u2019 relationship to food and body image. In Carlee’s case, having an almond dad \u201cabsolutely led me to develop disordered eating patterns,\u201d she says. Case in point: where he might have been restricting his diet to sardines and peanut butter, Carlee remembers a bout in 2022 when she only ate hardboiled eggs, apples, and black coffee. Following her dad\u2019s lead, Carlee fell into a trap of restriction to specific foods. <\/p>\n This is an example of modeling, says Rachel Rodgers, PhD, an associate professor of psychology at Northeastern University. Modeling is the idea that a child notices and internalizes a parent\u2019s behavior and then recreates it themselves\u2014whether that behavior is healthy or not. <\/p>\n \u201cChildren learn by watching their parents, even when their parents don\u2019t say anything,\u201d she says. \u201cSo, with parents who are still on a body image journey<\/a> and whose eating patterns are reflective of rules and choices that are made based on appearance pursuits, children will pick up on those and develop similar ways of thinking about their appearance and eating.\u201d <\/p>\n Even though dads might fly under the radar more, it\u2019s equally important to understand how they can impact their kids\u2019 relationship with food, fitness, and body image. Social media did a great job naming and identifying almond moms<\/a>\u2014but it’s time to widen the lens.<\/p>\n Why Dads Have Escaped the \u2018Almond\u2019 Label for So Long<\/p>\n Why does it feel like being an almond parent is typically reserved for moms? First, \u201cthere’s a higher prevalence of eating disorders in women<\/a> versus men, so you are more likely to encounter an almond mom,\u201d says Kelli Rugless, PsyD, a therapist who specializes in eating disorders at Flourish Psychology in Beverly Hills, California. Still, \u201cthat does not mean that almond dads do not exist and do not have a pretty significant impact on the way that their children and families relate to food,\u201d Rugless says. <\/p>\n And though eating disorders are less common in men than women, they do happen. One in five boys and men meet the criteria for an eating disorder, per a 2025 study in Eating Behaviors<\/a>.<\/p>\n When you encounter an almond dad in the wild, you might find that they\u2019re similar to their female counterparts: they talk about food in a shame- or guilt-based way, they focus on weight and body size, and they fixate on their food choices. But, there\u2019s more to an almond dad\u2014and that\u2019s why they can be so hard to spot. <\/p>\n \u201cIt gets to a point of almost health perfectionism.\u201d<\/p>\n For women, society\u2019s ideal body type is thin, but for men, it\u2019s strong. \u201cI would say the majority of boys and men I treat for anorexia, they really are not idealizing thinness, they’re idealizing leanness,\u201d says Roberto Olivardia, PhD, a clinical associate in psychology at McLean Hospital and author of The Adonis Complex: The Secret Crisis of Male Body Obsession. For men, it\u2019s about muscle\u2014and this can make it harder to spot when there\u2019s a problem. <\/p>\n You might see a built guy who works out regularly and hits his protein goals<\/a> and miss the fact that he\u2019s under-eating, obsessed with food, and invests a lot of self-worth in how his body looks. Where the almond mom might focus on calories, an almond dad might focus on macros<\/a>; that shift can make the behavior seem more fitness-focused or performance-driven, and therefore, less problematic, but experts say the underlying mindset isn\u2019t much different.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat’s particularly worrisome about those eating styles is that they’re often not framed as being disordered or put on the same continuum as behaviors that in women would be recognized as dieting<\/a>,\u201d Rodgers says. \u201cThis is partly because they’re associated with physical activity, and our current culture very strongly emphasizes that physical activity can only possibly be healthy, which of course is not the case.\u201d <\/p>\n Fitness can get unhealthy when it becomes obsessive, ritualized, and extreme, Rodgers adds. If someone\u2019s whole world revolves around the next time they\u2019ll be in the gym\u2014or if their entire day seems thrown off by missing a workout\u2014that\u2019s a sign it might be too obsessive for them. Fitness can also turn unhealthy when it\u2019s driven by weight and body size goals.<\/p>\n Red flags: Having some or a combination of the above qualities does not necessarily mean that a dad has disordered eating or an eating disorder, Olivardia says. When he\u2019s talking to patients, he looks for a sense of rigidity in eating and exercise and how closely he connects those things to character. \u201cIt\u2019s one thing to say \u2018I want to be healthy,\u2019\u201d he says. \u201cWe encourage healthy eating, but where I see that slippery slope is when it gets tied into morality and being a good person.\u201d <\/p>\n Despite the focus on muscle gains, body image might not actually be the primary force driving almond dads. \u201cIn general, a big difference I’ve often seen with the almond mom versus almond dad is that with the almond mom, a lot of times it tends to be focused on aesthetics and appearance, but with the dads, and with patients I’ve seen who’ve had dads like this, it’s really around the sense of control,\u201d Olivardia says.<\/p>\n While control has long been an underpinning of eating disorders<\/a>, the word has new meaning these days, with controlling food intake becoming a sign of strength and virtue. \u201cI would say over the last five years\u2014and this is where culture certainly plays a role\u2014I’ve heard that messaging more and it’s very aligned with the manosphere and stoicism that you see in social media,\u201d Olivardia says. There\u2019s this sense that deprivation and restriction leads to pain, which makes men more tough and more masculine, and \u201cof course it can spin and spiral out of control,\u201d he says. <\/p>\n Online, the almond dad ethos is shaped by more than control. Influences from movements like Make America Healthy Again<\/a> are also at play, sometimes even introducing an air of misogyny. When it comes to missing a workout or eating something sugary, men might feel as if they\u2019re \u201cweak,\u201d or \u201clike one is becoming a woman in some ways,\u201d Olivardia explains. <\/p>\n Some men might have lengthy supplement regimens<\/a> (\u00e0 la biohackers), emphasize things like productivity<\/a>, especially as it pertains to getting workouts in, and are skeptical of chemicals and additives like fluoride<\/a>. None of these behaviors are inherently concerning on their own, but they can escalate or be taken to the extreme. \u201cI’ve had patients who sometimes are taking 30 to 40 supplements a day,\u201d Olivardia says. \u201cIt gets to a point of almost health perfectionism.\u201d<\/p>\n How Dad\u2019s Habits Shape Kids\u2019 Bodies\u2014and Beliefs<\/p>\n Whether through direct comments or modeling, any parent, no matter their gender, can have an impact on how their kids\u2019 relationships to food, fitness, and body image. \u201cI always say to parents, \u2018your kids are watching,\u2019\u201d Olivardia says. \u201cI\u2019ve worked with boys and men whose mothers had eating disorders and I\u2019ve worked with girls whose fathers were the ones who had eating disorders.\u201d<\/p>\n Today, male guardians are more involved in raising children compared to previous decades, including in how much time they spend with their kids, per data analyzed by the Pew Research Center<\/a>. As a result, the way that they approach eating and working out can inadvertently have a big impact on how their kids feel about those very things. \u201cThey have an equal influence on their kids, and it would be unfair to tell a dad that they don\u2019t,\u201d Fox says. <\/p>\n When that influence is intertwined with unhealthy relationships to food or fitness, it can take a harmful turn. Many factors contribute to the development of an eating disorder or negative body image, plenty of which are connected to parenting. Research has shown that parenting styles<\/a>, attachment styles<\/a>, and negative comments from parents<\/a> can all play a role in a child\u2019s eating disorder. If parents themselves have an unhealthy relationship with food, fitness, and body image, it\u2019s likely that they can pass that onto their kids, says Fox. <\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019d love to talk to my dad about other things going on in my life rather than what my leg press is.”<\/p>\n Both of Jessi O.\u2019s parents struggled with diet culture, and that led to some extreme ideas about food, she remembers. Theirs was the kind of house that had low-fat salad dressings, and no butter. \u201cMy dad was always, always very health conscious,\u201d she says. \u201cGrowing up, we didn\u2019t have bacon in the house, or beef, or higher-caloric, higher-fat foods.\u201d The result? Fear of the consequences of eating those foods.<\/p>\n Beginning around 15 years old, Jessi, now 44, ended up in treatment for anorexia and has been in recovery since, which she says indicates the impact of growing up with an almond dad. \u201cI think that the male voice\u2014especially our dad\u2019s\u2014is so influential for young women, teenagers, and middle schoolers,\u201d she says. \u201cWe look up to them.\u201d Throughout the past decade, Jessi and her dad have had more conversations about that impact. \u201cHe admits that some of the comments that he made or some of the examples that he set when I was younger were actually really detrimental to my viewpoints and how I navigated the world of health and food,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n Beyond approaches to food and eating, critical body talk can result in disordered habits. Making comments about your child\u2019s body\u2014especially about their weight\u2014can reinforce the idea that your kid should look a certain way, says Rugless (when in reality, they\u2019re children and they should be growing). This might result in disordered eating or an eating disorder if a child starts to feel like they need to lose weight. These comments also just stick with kids. Jessi remembers comments along the lines of, \u201cThat\u2019s going to go straight to your thighs.\u201d<\/p>\n Body talk (including the way dads talk about their own bodies in front of their kids) and fitness conversations can also overshadow other elements of your relationship with your child. For Carlee, most interactions with her dad still revolve around physique and food. Whether he\u2019s sharing his new goals, stories from the gym, or asking her personal questions about her habits and weight, it can get in the way of a deeper relationship. \u201cI find it exhausting,\u201d she says. \u201cI\u2019d love to talk to my dad about other things going on in my life rather than what my leg press is.\u201d <\/p>\n That\u2019s what can happen with so-called almond dads: over time, food and fitness can start to feel less joyful and more utilitarian. Instead of thinking of food as something that can be enjoyed or bring a family together, it\u2019s fuel, says Olivardia. The approach is more along the lines of: food is something I have to eat, as a means to an end, so I\u2019ll do it. The same can be said for the gym; even if it\u2019s painful, you have to do it. <\/p>\n It\u2019s about ignoring what you want to do and struggling through what you don\u2019t, and there\u2019s a sense of pride in that for the dads. \u201cWe can see how food becomes a metaphor for a lot of other things in life,\u201d Olivardia says. <\/p>\n Untangling the Almond Dad Effect<\/p>\n Now a parent herself, Jessi has a lot of conversations with her husband about how to approach food with their son. The overall goal is to remove the judgement from choices and to help him honor his body\u2019s hunger cues. In her household, there aren\u2019t any foods that are bad or avoided, though you probably won\u2019t find any of the \u201clow calorie\u201d or \u201clow fat\u201d diet options. (This kind of approach, an \u201call foods fit\u201d mentality, is recommended by eating disorder specialists, says Fox.)<\/p>\n Instead, Jessi and her husband focus on talking about nutrition and getting a variety of vitamins and minerals with their kid. They also don\u2019t focus on the quantity of food that he eats. \u201cHe is a growing, energetic child,\u201d Jessi says. \u201cHis body needs more nutrition some days.\u201d (Also a sentiment co-signed by Rugless. A child absolutely needs to be eating enough to support their activities and growth.)<\/p>\n As for where she stands with her parents, there are some days when she can have an open conversation with them about food, but they\u2019re not entirely on the same page. At the end of the day, they\u2019re in their 70s\u2014and haven\u2019t done nearly as much therapy as she has. \u201cI can reprogram myself through therapy, but I haven’t necessarily been able to always reprogram my parents,\u201d Jessi says. <\/p>\n If you\u2019re someone who is dealing with an almond parent, the best thing you can do is reflect on how it\u2019s affected you\u2014and open up a conversation about it, experts say. Spend time thinking about your relationship with food and fitness. Then, if needed, you can set boundaries with your parent using short, direct statements that share how you\u2019re feeling or explain what you\u2019re wanting, Fox says. \u201cYou could say something like, \u2018I’m noticing my relationship with food is tense, so when you restrict in front of me, it makes me uncomfortable,\u201d she says. \u201cOr, \u2018I’m trying something new where I don’t judge food as healthy or unhealthy,\u2019 or, \u2018I don’t restrict my eating.\u2019\u201d <\/p>\n That said, it\u2019s not so easy to change a parent\u2019s behavior\u2014especially if it\u2019s been that way your entire life. So, it\u2019s important to continuously check in with yourself, rely on others for support (including a therapist!), and remember that you don\u2019t have to subscribe to your almond parent\u2019s views. \u201cAt the end of the day, we can’t control what somebody else does, but we can work on being aware of, \u2018how does this affect me? \u201d Olivardia says. <\/p>\n When Jessi’s parents make comments about her son, she is able to step in and correct them. She explains when comments aren\u2019t helpful and tells her parents the impact words can have. \u201cRaising my son in a healthy environment around our bodies and around nourishing them and taking care of ourselves, it’s really important,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n Treatment for her eating disorder has given her a lot of tools to do so, and it\u2019s also helped her develop some empathy for the way she was brought up, which will ultimately help so that her child won\u2019t have the same experiences. \u201cI have a lot more compassion for my dad because he just didn’t have the language, the understanding, or the knowledge that I have,\u201d she says. \u201cI get to be that cycle breaker and I get to move forward in this life knowing that that is the case.\u201d<\/p>\n Olivia Luppino is an associate editor at Women\u2019s Health. She spends most of her time interviewing expert sources about the latest fitness trends, nutrition tips, and practical advice for living a healthier life. Olivia previously wrote for New York Magazine\u2019s The Cut, PS (formerly POPSUGAR), and Salon, where she also did on-camera interviews with celebrity guests. She recently ran the New York City Marathon.<\/p>\n![\"Headshot](\"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/6bfb2574-90c7-47d8-9673-40f78e1a21ec_1737124933.file.png\" "\\"Headshot")
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