\u201cSaturday Night Live U.K.\u201d kicked off its first-ever episode by following the American tradition of a political cold open, featuring U.K. Prime Minister Keir Starmer trying to break the news to U.S. President Donald Trump that he doesn\u2019t want to join the war in Iran.<\/p>\n
Played by a well disguised George Fouracres, Starmer nervously sits at his desk, a framed photo of Trump behind him, as a dial tone rings. \u201cOh, golly! What if Donald shouts at me? What do I say?\u201d he says to an adviser played by Hammed Animashaun. \u201cJust be yourself, prime minister!\u201d the adviser says. \u201cYourself is who everyone likes.\u201d<\/p>\n
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Trump answers the phone with a blunt \u201cHello!\u201d and Starmer immediately hangs up, lamenting: \u201cOh, sod that scary, scary wonderful president. Why is he so blubber difficult to talk to?\u201d<\/p>\n
Starmer talks to his adviser as if Trump was his toxic ex. \u201cI just want to keep him happy. You don\u2019t understand him like I do. I can change him!\u201d he says.<\/p>\n
The meeting is then interrupted by Starmer\u2019s new Gen Z adviser \u2014 played by Jack Shep \u2014 who calls him \u201cStarmzy,\u201d a play on the U.K. rapper Stormzy. The Gen Z adviser says he\u2019s fit for the job because \u201cI\u2019m an expert in messy drama, I\u2019ve been in three throuples and I\u2019m currently gay.\u201d<\/p>\n
The Gen Z adviser tells Starmer that instead of breaking up with Trump on the phone, he should send him a voice note. Starmer replies: \u201cI\u2019ll try anything, I\u2019ll do anything. Except take a stand.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHi, Donald. I\u2019m afraid I can\u2019t go to war with you, but that doesn\u2019t mean that we can\u2019t be chums,\u201d Starmer says with a worried expression on his face. \u201cAmerica and Britain have a long, proud tradition of cooperation and nothing can take that away. Remember the good times. Remember D-Day? Remember Live Aid? Remember Iraq? The first week and none of the rest. Remember Helen Baxterdale on \u2018Friends\u2019? Remember Hugh Laurie on \u2018Friends\u2019? Remember the episode of \u2018Friends\u2019 where they all came to London?\u201d<\/p>\n
He continues: \u201cBut most importantly, remember the one where Ross and Rachel were on a break? I think that\u2019s perhaps what we need. Not forever, just until you\u2019ve got all this war out of your system. We want different things. I know how badly you want to start World War III, and that\u2019s great. You absolutely do that but we can\u2019t be part of it. You can, however, use the naval bases whenever you want.\u201d<\/p>\n
Starmer\u2019s adviser then congratulates him, saying: \u201cGood work, sir. You did the bare minimum, and that\u2019s all people expect from you.\u201d<\/p>\n
Starmer replies with a sly jest at the existence of \u201cSNL U.K.\u201d itself: \u201cIt just goes to show, while we may not agree with everything America does, we can still be civil and embrace their wonderful, unproblematic culture.\u201d<\/p>\n
Fouracres, Animashaun and Shep then gather together to say the iconic words, with a new twist: \u201cLive from London, it\u2019s Saturday night!\u201d<\/p>\n
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