The airport is absolutely rammers and I\u2019m in \u2013 it has to be said \u2013 scintillating form, so much so that Sorcha actually remorks on it.<\/p>\n
She goes, \u201cYou\u2019re in, like, really good form,\u201d except she says it like it\u2019s an accusation.<\/p>\n
I\u2019m there, \u201cA week away from kids \u2013 er, who wouldn\u2019t be?\u201d<\/p>\n
She\u2019s like, \u201cIs that your third beer?\u201d<\/p>\n
It\u2019s actually my fourth. I threw one down while she was in the jacks. <\/p>\n
I\u2019m there, \u201cYeah, no, it\u2019s definitely in that ballpork.\u201d<\/p>\n
She\u2019s looking up at the deportures board to see if our flight is leaving on time.<\/p>\n
That\u2019s when we hear a voice go, \u201cOh! My God! Sorcha Lalor!\u201d<\/p>\n
And \u2013 yeah, no \u2013 it ends up being Melissa Bliss, a girl she was in, like, UCD with back in the day. Did Orts. Never heard of her again. The old story.<\/p>\n
\u201cHow many years has it been?\u201d the girl goes.<\/p>\n
Sorcha ends up blanking me for the next pretty much hour. The next time she opens her mouth to me, in fact, is when we\u2019re in the air over \u2013 I don\u2019t know \u2013 wherever<\/p>\n
And Sorcha\u2019s like, \u201cOh my God, I don\u2019t even want to think about it?\u201d<\/p>\n
She introduces us to some randomer, who turns out to be her husband, Mike. The dude is Canadian. She says she\u2019s been living in Vancouver for, like, 20 years.<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd Ross,\u201d she goes, \u201chow are you?\u201d<\/p>\n
The only two things I remember about Melissa are (1) she had zero interest in rugby and (2) \u2013 and there\u2019s possibly a connection here \u2013 she had zero time for the Rossmeister General. As a matter of fact, she used to tell Sorcha that she was punching well below her weight going out with me \u2013 and that once she got over her fixation with rugby players, she\u2019d be left with a dude whose IQ was the same as his belt size. <\/p>\n
Which is 34, by the way. I don\u2019t know if that\u2019s high or low in IQ terms.<\/p>\n
\u201cSo where are you heading?\u201d Melissa goes. \u201cSomewhere nice?\u201d<\/p>\n
I\u2019m there, \u201cYeah, no, Dubai.\u201d<\/p>\n
Melissa and Mike look at me like I\u2019m actually speaking in, I don\u2019t know, Dubaish.<\/p>\n
\u201cRoss,\u201d Sorcha goes, \u201cwe\u2019re not going to Dubai.\u201d<\/p>\n
I\u2019m there, \u201cAren\u2019t we?\u201d<\/p>\n
She\u2019s like, \u201cWe cancelled? Weeks ago? Because of, like, the war?\u201d<\/p>\n
I\u2019m there, \u201cWhat war?\u201d and I genuinely mean it.<\/p>\n
I wouldn\u2019t be a big follower of current affairs, Babes. Who\u2019s even involved?<\/p>\n
She turns to Melissa and goes, \u201cI\u2019m really sorry,\u201d for some reason feeling the need to apologise for me?<\/p>\n
\u201cWe\u2019ve got to run,\u201d Melissa goes. \u201cOur gate is about to close. Lovely to see you, Sorcha. We must connect on LinkedIn,\u201d and off the two of them fock.<\/p>\n
Sorcha ends up blanking me for the next pretty much hour. The next time she opens her mouth to me, in fact, is when we\u2019re in the air over \u2013 I don\u2019t know \u2013 wherever. I\u2019ve still no idea where we\u2019re even going.<\/p>\n
She\u2019s like, \u201cHow could you not have heard about the war?\u201d<\/p>\n
I\u2019m there, \u201cI wouldn\u2019t be a big follower of current affairs, Babes. Who\u2019s even involved?\u201d<\/p>\n