{"id":419489,"date":"2026-04-27T06:05:09","date_gmt":"2026-04-27T06:05:09","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/419489\/"},"modified":"2026-04-27T06:05:09","modified_gmt":"2026-04-27T06:05:09","slug":"rhori-episode-5-recap-schooner-or-later","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/419489\/","title":{"rendered":"\u2018RHORI\u2019 Episode 5 Recap: Schooner or Later"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>                  <img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/fe82a8beeaca73876edfa2c6f887a64efa-The-Real-Housewives-of-Rhode-Island--epi.rsquare.w400.png\" class=\"lede-image\" data-content-img=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"400\" style=\"width:100%;height:auto;\" fetchpriority=\"high\"\/> <\/p>\n<p>\n                  Jo-Ellen manages to find proof that Rulla\u2019s husband is still having an affair, and the resulting confrontation makes for an all-time episode.<br \/>\n                  Photo: Bravo\n              <\/p>\n<p class=\"clay-paragraph\" data-editable=\"text\" data-uri=\"www.vulture.com\/_components\/clay-paragraph\/instances\/cmogfg29s000i0ih5nt5wjysa@published\" data-word-count=\"127\">Since this show premiered, people have been saying that the Real Housewives of Rhode Island harkens back to the days of classic Housewives \u2014 largely because of the cast\u2019s organic ties and willingness to let their guards down on camera. But now we have yet another example of the franchise returning to its glory days: gay men as accessories! Much has been said about the trope of Real Housewives treating their \u201cgays\u201d as sassy little props \u2014 from Lisa Vanderpump\u2019s house guest Cedric to Miss Lawrence on <a href=\"https:\/\/www.vulture.com\/tv\/the-real-housewives-of-atlanta\/\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\">RHOA<\/a> to Jill Zarin\u2019s \u201cgay husband\u201d Brad. And perhaps because of some of the pushback regarding the, at times problematic, way these women have historically presented their friendships with gay men, that trend isn\u2019t as commonplace as it once was.<\/p>\n<p class=\"clay-paragraph\" data-editable=\"text\" data-uri=\"www.vulture.com\/_components\/clay-paragraph\/instances\/cmoghb1r0001c3b7doztcrvur@published\" data-word-count=\"113\">But in Rhode Island, which has yet to face any such discourse, that tradition is back in full swing, courtesy of Rosie introducing us to her gay best friend Anthony, who is throwing a boat party that all the women are going to. But how do they know each other? \u201cWe all just, like, kind of run in the same, like, gay circle\u2026 if you will,\u201d Rosie explains, which is a line I\u2019m going to start using. Book Rosie a pride parade float STAT. In fact just go ahead and make her grand marshall. She can tokenize all she wants if she\u2019s doing it dressed up like a Toddlers &amp; Tiaras pageant girl.<\/p>\n<p class=\"clay-paragraph\" data-editable=\"text\" data-uri=\"www.vulture.com\/_components\/clay-paragraph\/instances\/cmoghb1x7001d3b7dwrmi1sqm@published\" data-word-count=\"125\">But before we meet all of Rosie\u2019s gays, Alicia has Liz and Jo-Ellen over, the latter of whom is finally back from her work trip but is now grieving the loss of her 100-year-old grandfather. \u201cWas he my neighbor?\u201d Alicia asks, because we can\u2019t go more than one episode of this show without discovering some new insane connection between this cast. They also fill Jo-Ellen in on all the drama she missed when she was away, most notably Alicia\u2019s massive fight (and immediate reconciliation) with Rosie. \u201cI kinda feel bad a little bit that I called her a whore, but that\u2019s a Rhode Island thing. You just say whore \u2018cause it feels good,\u201d Alicia explains, and she\u2019s right \u2014 especially when you\u2019re pronouncing it, \u201cWho-AHH!\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"clay-paragraph\" data-editable=\"text\" data-uri=\"www.vulture.com\/_components\/clay-paragraph\/instances\/cmoghb22x001e3b7d0ysnwjqr@published\" data-word-count=\"97\">But Jo-Ellen is much more interested in knowing whether or not anybody was talking about her, and she looks almost disappointed when the answer is no. Not even her nemesis Rullala had anything to say behind her back! And on that note, Liz encourages Jo-Ellen to drop that feud because Rulla is really going through it and picking on her at a time like this just feels like low-hanging fruit. When Jo-Ellen says she does have empathy for her, Liz literally laughs out loud and calls her bluff, but in any case, it was a nice sentiment.<\/p>\n<p class=\"clay-paragraph\" data-editable=\"text\" data-uri=\"www.vulture.com\/_components\/clay-paragraph\/instances\/cmoghb262001f3b7dgsv5kpob@published\" data-word-count=\"172\">Meanwhile, Ashley is putting in the work to become more connected to the rest of the group by going over to Kelsey\u2019s to have her do her hair. Given Kelsey\u2019s circumstances, this, of course, doesn\u2019t need to be her full-time job, but it\u2019s something she does here and there, and it seems like it\u2019s her backup plan for when she retires from being a sugar baby. Since that seems imminent, given that she\u2019s got both a new gig and new man lined up, getting her name out there as a hair stylist is important. That\u2019s why she\u2019s pissed at Rosie for not tagging her on Instagram after she did her hair. She tells this all to Ashley as she\u2019s doing her hair, and her not-so-subtle hints worked perfectly, because the second she\u2019s done, Ashley takes out her phone and posts a selfie of the pair to her story, showing off Kelsey\u2019s handiwork. She knew she had to secure those Bachelor Nation followers and made it happen \u2014 a true businesswoman at work.<\/p>\n<p class=\"clay-paragraph\" data-editable=\"text\" data-uri=\"www.vulture.com\/_components\/clay-paragraph\/instances\/cmoghb28u001g3b7dhip2vcpc@published\" data-word-count=\"135\">Her complaint about Rosie\u2019s lack of Instagram etiquette comes up again at the gay boat party, where she confronts Rosie about it directly \u2014 in the presence of Martini Mike no less. That\u2019s right, the martini-sipping gay guy who randomly appeared in the background of a season 12 episode of RHONY makes his grand Bravo return via this new franchise. What a beautiful web we weave. Anyway, Rosie is shocked by Kelsey\u2019s grievance and says that it\u2019s not her job to take a picture of the back of her head to post, but Kelsey points out that she tags everybody else who does a service for her. Kelsey is fiending for those Channel 10 followers, but if \u201cRhode Trippin\u2019\u201d is only getting 215 views, how much engagement does she really expect Rosie\u2019s haircut to get?<\/p>\n<p class=\"clay-paragraph\" data-editable=\"text\" data-uri=\"www.vulture.com\/_components\/clay-paragraph\/instances\/cmoghb2fk001h3b7dreuyo6yw@published\" data-word-count=\"90\">Ashley\u2019s attempt to broker peace fails, but maybe Jo-Ellen and Rulla will have better luck putting their feud behind them? The pair meet up for a one-on-one without the husbands, where Jo-Ellen tries to make it clear that she has no problem with Rulla \u2014 her problem is with Brian, who she maintains is still actively having an affair. As it turns out, Jo-Ellen knows the mistress because their kids went to daycare together, and just the other day she showed her all of the texts between her and Brian.<\/p>\n<p class=\"clay-paragraph\" data-editable=\"text\" data-uri=\"www.vulture.com\/_components\/clay-paragraph\/instances\/cmoghb2ib001i3b7dmfbot656@published\" data-word-count=\"159\">But when she shows them to Rulla, she says she\u2019d need to see more proof because the mistress is known to have fake text apps. Ah! A classic reality television denial tactic: the mythical fake text app. When Jo-Ellen says that she went through the phone herself, Rulla points out that she doesn\u2019t know if that was really Brian\u2019s number and asks, \u201cYou don\u2019t think she\u2019s a psycho?\u201d But Jo-Ellen quickly corrects her, saying, \u201cOh no, I do think she\u2019s quite crazy.\u201d But sometimes crazy people tell the truth! And according to her, Brian goes to see her every morning, which Rulla pushes back on, saying that can\u2019t be true because he\u2019s at the gym every morning. What happened next was such beautiful Housewifery that it took my breath away. Without even a second of hesitation, Jo-Ellen responds with, \u201cDoes Brian look like he goes to the gym?\u201d She\u2019s one of the sharpest minds to ever appear on television.<\/p>\n<p class=\"clay-paragraph\" data-editable=\"text\" data-uri=\"www.vulture.com\/_components\/clay-paragraph\/instances\/cmoghb2l9001j3b7dg76u1lbj@published\" data-word-count=\"108\">The bottom line is: Rulla keeps saying that she\u2019s willing to see proof, but this wasn\u2019t enough. Well, ask and you shall receive, because that\u2019s not the end of this. The whole crew \u2014 except for Ashley who has been exiled to a Royal Caribbean cruise \u2014 gathers for a polo match. But first, Alicia brings them all to their restaurant Angelo\u2019s, which she explains in Greek is pronounced, \u201cAvenlanjoliezest.\u201d She should be the poet laureate. Get her a Calm App partnership. I want to hear her read the phone book. Not only that, but we also get two separate exclamations from her of, \u201cI love a horse.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"clay-paragraph\" data-editable=\"text\" data-uri=\"www.vulture.com\/_components\/clay-paragraph\/instances\/cmoghb2o3001k3b7dsc0z1n48@published\" data-word-count=\"67\">But as the women and their gentlemen gather at the restaurant, Rulla\u2019s husband Brian gets a phone call. \u201cOh no, what happened\u2026you gonna call an ambulance?\u201d he says, in a very Jen-Shah-escaping-the-FBI kind of way. Apparently his dad is taking his mom to the hospital, so he and Rulla leave to go check on her, but plan on meeting back up with them at the polo\u00a0 match.<\/p>\n<p class=\"clay-paragraph\" data-editable=\"text\" data-uri=\"www.vulture.com\/_components\/clay-paragraph\/instances\/cmoghb2qu001l3b7dizup98ob@published\" data-word-count=\"93\">\u201cPrayers to your mom,\u201d Jo-Ellen says. \u201cAren\u2019t you kind today?\u201d Liz tells her, getting a kick out of Jo-Ellen\u2019s beautiful performance of empathy. But mere seconds after sending those well wishes to Rulla via FaceTime, Jo-Ellen dramatically gasps at her phone, commanding the bus\u2019s attention. She feigns not wanting to say anything, but sure enough quickly reveals that she just got word that Brian is currently trying to see his mistress as they speak. But once they get to the polo match, Rulla and Brian eventually arrive, so all must be okay, right?<\/p>\n<p class=\"clay-paragraph\" data-editable=\"text\" data-uri=\"www.vulture.com\/_components\/clay-paragraph\/instances\/cmoghb2x7001m3b7d0un12i2r@published\" data-word-count=\"170\">Not so fast. While they\u2019re mucking it up, Kelsey tries on Rulla\u2019s massive engagement ring for fun and shows all the guys, which is when she notices that Brian\u2019s not wearing his ring. Put on the spot, he launches into a sweaty story about how he took it off to put gel in his son\u2019s hair, and quickly shuffles off to the car to retrieve it. But here\u2019s the thing: the editor\u2019s flashback to Brian at the restaurant just hours earlier and he\u2019s WEARING THE RING. So the wedding ring was taken off sometime in the last four hours or so, exactly when Jo-Ellen was alleging that he snuck off to see his mistress. Even if we gave him the benefit of the doubt, why would he be putting gel in his son\u2019s hair midday while he was rushing to see his mother in the hospital? And if that\u2019s why he took it off, why was it in the car? Since when does someone apply hair gel in a car?<\/p>\n<p class=\"clay-paragraph\" data-editable=\"text\" data-uri=\"www.vulture.com\/_components\/clay-paragraph\/instances\/cmoghb30b001n3b7d5xa34xxp@published\" data-word-count=\"51\">This all, of course, is like Christmas morning for Jo-Ellen. Things only get better when she opens her phone and sees that the mistress just posted a photo \u201cin his red interior car\u201d only two hours ago. \u201cThat\u2019s him and her,\u201d she says, showing the photo to any and every passerby.<\/p>\n<p class=\"clay-paragraph\" data-editable=\"text\" data-uri=\"www.vulture.com\/_components\/clay-paragraph\/instances\/cmoghb334001o3b7d12p6j6bf@published\" data-word-count=\"130\">\u201cI\u2019m not doing this on camera, so I\u2019m leaving,\u201d Brian says, which doesn\u2019t sound like something an innocent person would say. But the women quickly circle him and manage to keep him there long enough for him to admit that there\u2019s not only still an open line of communication with her, but she\u2019s texting him right then and there. It begs a lot of questions, but the answer to all of the questions is that he\u2019s still having an affair. As they show him what she\u2019s posting on Instagram in real time, Brian tells Jo-Ellen that it\u2019s not her business to be perpetuating this, and she yells back that it\u2019s all happening publicly on Instagram. As all of this chaos plays out, Alicia watches on, snacking on her Wheat Thins.<\/p>\n<p class=\"clay-paragraph\" data-editable=\"text\" data-uri=\"www.vulture.com\/_components\/clay-paragraph\/instances\/cmoghb38e001p3b7dbqlybfqr@published\" data-word-count=\"57\">Eventually, Jo-Ellen manages to pull Rulla aside and whispers that she\u2019s not trying to hurt her, but the affair is clearly not done. \u201cAnd if you want proof, I\u2019ll figure it out,\u201d she says, like a fixer. It feels like an episode of <a href=\"https:\/\/www.vulture.com\/tv\/big-little-lies\/\" class=\"editor-rtfLink\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\">Big Little Lies<\/a>, and Brian better hope that the finale party isn\u2019t Audrey Hepburn-themed.<\/p>\n<p>          Sign up for the Housewives Institute Bulletin<\/p>\n<p>Dame Brian Moylan breaks down all the gossip and drama, on- and off-screen, for dedicated students of the Reality Television Arts and Sciences.<\/p>\n<p>        Vox Media, LLC Terms and Privacy Notice<\/p>\n<p class=\"expanded-terms \" aria-hidden=\"true\">By submitting your email, you agree to our <a href=\"https:\/\/nymag.com\/newyork\/terms\/\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer nofollow\" target=\"_blank\">Terms<\/a> and <a href=\"https:\/\/nymag.com\/newyork\/privacy\/\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer nofollow\" target=\"_blank\">Privacy Notice<\/a> and to receive email correspondence from us.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Jo-Ellen manages to find proof that Rulla\u2019s husband is still having an affair, and the resulting confrontation makes&hellip;\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":419490,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[29],"tags":[15171,93,61,60,15169,10796,3797,15170,82302,282,15168],"class_list":["post-419489","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-tv","tag-bravo","tag-entertainment","tag-ie","tag-ireland","tag-overnights","tag-reality-tv","tag-recaps","tag-the-real-housewives","tag-the-real-housewives-of-rhode-island","tag-tv","tag-tv-recaps"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/419489","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=419489"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/419489\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/419490"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=419489"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=419489"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=419489"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}