DEAR ABBY: My mother-in-law drives me bonkers. It started when our son (her only grandchild) was born. She is obsessed with him. We live in different states, and during our most recent visit there, she kept pressuring my son to come back on his own for two or three weeks. She constantly voices her opinions loudly in his presence, whether they are about schools we are considering, extracurricular activities, etc., and she is nasty about things she doesn\u2019t agree with. She also interrupts everyone and has no interest in anything that may be important to others if it doesn\u2019t have an impact on her. An example: I was asked to lead a local nonprofit organization. She promptly sneered about the organization, offering not one word of support.<\/p>\n
I would be happy to never see her again while still encouraging my son to have a relationship with her. However, HE\u2019S the one who doesn\u2019t want to visit her without me and his dad, so it\u2019s not US saying no. My husband (her only child) tries his best, but she\u2019s his mom and he\u2019s caught in the middle. Have you any idea how to handle this difficult relationship? — NEEDLED IN CONNECTICUT<\/p>\n
DEAR NEEDLED: No law states that you must send your son to visit your husband\u2019s mother if he doesn\u2019t want to go. Because your husband isn\u2019t strong enough to be the \u201cbad guy,\u201d it will be up to you to tell her that your son (I assume he\u2019s still quite young and can\u2019t speak for himself) will not be visiting unless it is part of a family unit. When she gives you an argument (and she probably will), be polite and stand firm.<\/p>\n
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