{"id":444525,"date":"2026-05-12T06:36:10","date_gmt":"2026-05-12T06:36:10","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/444525\/"},"modified":"2026-05-12T06:36:10","modified_gmt":"2026-05-12T06:36:10","slug":"i-tried-to-tell-the-gp-i-was-seeing-things-but-he-gave-me-eczema-cream-the-irish-times","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/444525\/","title":{"rendered":"I tried to tell the GP I was seeing things but he \u2018gave me eczema cream\u2019 \u2013 The Irish Times"},"content":{"rendered":"

A mother, who was diagnosed with schizophrenia when her son was six months old, says she was \u201cterrified\u201d to talk about her mental health<\/a> during pregnancy<\/a> and early motherhood.<\/p>\n

Danielle (35) said five years before pregnancy, she tried to explain to a GP how she was seeing things, \u201cbut he didn\u2019t understand what I was trying to say. He gave me eczema cream because I have very bad eczema and he sent me home\u201d.<\/p>\n

When her son was three months old, she says she was \u201cwalking around in circles talking to myself\u201d and was scared for her baby. She got professional support but wishes she had opened up about her mental health<\/a> earlier.<\/p>\n

Danielle shares her experience as almost half of parents<\/a> surveyed say they have had poor mental health at some point since having children, according to new research, and nearly one in two of those believe this has had a negative impact on their children.<\/p>\n

The issues range from having a diagnosed mental illness, for just over one in 10 parents, to many more experiencing anxiety, depression and burnout.<\/p>\n

The findings are \u201ca bit shocking\u201d, says Stephanie Whyte, director of services at Barnardos<\/a>, which commissioned the survey. \u201cNearly half of parents tell us that they have periods of low mood and depression at some point, or [are] feeling overwhelmed most of the time, or feeling depressed most of the time, which is quite a significant thing to say.\u201d<\/p>\n

This representative snapshot of 1,000 parents across the general population in Ireland, captured by Am\u00e1rach Research, gives an insight into stresses that are often hidden behind closed doors.<\/p>\n

The survey results indicate that about half of all children live with a parent with poor mental health for at least part of their childhood. In the absence of adequate support, this can put children at greater risk of developing their own mental health problems, disengaging from school, struggling to build friendships and generally experiencing poorer wellbeing. <\/p>\n

\u201cWe don\u2019t talk enough in Ireland about how actually being a parent is really hard,\u201d says Whyte. \u201cThere\u2019s a societal and cultural assumption that you\u2019re able to do it and you know what to do and you just get on with it.\u201d As a result, there can be a stigma around people admitting they are struggling and seeking help.<\/p>\n

We do need parents to admit when things aren\u2019t going well and we do need them to reach out<\/p>\n

\u2014 \u00a0Stephanie Whyte, Barnardos<\/p>\n

Lack of family support resources is a big part of the problem, but so too, she suggests, is \u201cshame that parents are made feel if they\u2019re not saying, \u2018things are going great; my children are amazing and I\u2019m loving parenting\u2019. It is far from great a lot of the time.\u201d<\/p>\n

[\u00a0How a new mother overcame postnatal mental health strugglesOpens in new window<\/a>\u00a0]<\/p>\n

Yet, in the world of social media and influencers, images abound of seemingly happy parents and their kids doing great things. \u201cIf you are really at the end of your tether … you don\u2019t need that daily reminder,\u201d she says, \u201cthat everybody else is doing great and I\u2019m the only one in the world who\u2019s doing terribly badly.\u201d <\/p>\n

Asked in the survey how often they feel a) overwhelmed; b) anxious; c) depressed; d) burnt out\/exhausted, nearly every parent (95 per cent) says they currently experience one of those at least some of the time. More than half (54 per cent) feel all of these at least some of the time. <\/p>\n

Feeling burnout\/exhaustion would seem to be unavoidable at certain parenting stages but 24 per cent say they experience this \u201cmost of the time\u201d. In that frame of mind, what parent hasn\u2019t snapped at a child as a result?<\/p>\n

Whyte agrees: \u201cYou have moments where you do that. But when that becomes the characteristic nature of the relationship with the child, that\u2019s when it starts to become harmful to the child\u2019s development.\u201d<\/p>\n

[\u00a0Mental health experts on burnout, therapy and the \u2018medicalisation of mild anxiety\u2019 in IrelandOpens in new window<\/a>\u00a0]<\/p>\n

Children are very forgiving, so parents don\u2019t have to be perfect all of the time, she stresses. \u201cBut if that negativity, or that harshness, or that detachment, or that disengagement, becomes characteristic of their day-to-day involvement with their parents, that\u2019s when it becomes a problem.\u201d <\/p>\n

\"BarnardosBarnardos highlights the importance of not looking at parents\u2019 mental health in isolation. Photograph: Getty Images <\/p>\n

Barnardos is calling for more awareness-raising about the extent of parental mental health difficulties and the potential harm for their children. \u201cWe do need that national conversation; we do need parents to admit when things aren\u2019t going well and we do need them to reach out and get help,\u201d says Whyte. However, when they do ask, \u201cwe need to be able to respond and provide it\u201d.<\/p>\n

Issues covered by the survey fall within a wide spectrum of mental health, \u201cbut underpinning all of it is being able to provide help to individual families at the time that they need it and that\u2019s what\u2019s not happening.\u201d<\/p>\n

Early intervention can help bolster the parent-child relationship before it starts to spiral into self-recrimination on both sides. Children are inclined to think they are to blame when they experience parental negativity. While for parents struggling with mental health, a sense of failure and guilt is reinforced if they see the impact of their own troubles on their children.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe last thing we want is that a parent reaches out and says, \u2018I\u2019m struggling and I need help\u2019, and then we have to put them on a waiting list because there aren\u2019t supports available in their communities,\u201d says Whyte. \u201cChildren can\u2019t wait, because a six- or 10-month or a year-long waiting list for a child who is age six or seven is obviously a very, very long time.\u201d<\/p>\n

In addition to an increase in community parental supports, Barnardos is also highlighting the importance of not looking at parents\u2019 mental health in isolation from the family around them. It believes the parenting status of all adults who engage with mental health services should be recorded and a referral offered to all families with children under 18 to local family support services, which need to be sufficiently funded.<\/p>\n

\u201cThis is to ensure that supports can be put in place for them so that the chance of their difficulties impacting on their children is reduced,\u201d says Whyte. Similarly, children and young people\u2019s mental health should not be viewed in isolation from their home environment and family wellbeing.<\/p>\n

Parental stress<\/p>\n

\"ParentsParents often talk about feeling so stressed that they find it hard to function. Photograph: iStock (shironosov\/Getty Images) <\/p>\n

Parental stress is mentioned in almost every single call to Parentline, no matter what issue is being raised, says Aileen Hickie, CEO of the voluntary national helpline service. <\/p>\n

Parents often talk about feeling so stressed that they find it hard to function. \u201cThey report feeling burnt out and overwhelmed by parenting and the various challenges.\u201d<\/p>\n

One of the parents\u2019 biggest concerns is that that their own stress and exhaustion can lead them to become short-tempered with their children.<\/p>\n

\u201cMany parents fear their own reactions to a child\u2019s behaviour. They often feel guilt and shame in relation to their parental struggles,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe would stress that parents have to look after themselves if they are going to be able to look after their children and they have to prioritise self-care. But asking for help is crucial.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt is also essential to realise that there is no such thing as the perfect parent,\u201d adds Hickie. \u201cYou only have to be a \u2018good enough\u2019 parent and reduce the pressure on yourself.\u201d<\/p>\n

There are marked differences between male and female responses to the survey. Mothers are two and a half times more likely to say they feel overwhelmed most of the time (25 per cent) compared to fathers (10 per cent) and almost twice as likely to feel anxious most of the time (20 per cent compared to 12 per cent). <\/p>\n

Whyte attributes this to context rather than gender. It reflects that mothers tend to have greater responsibility for the day-to-day tasks of rearing children. In addition, lone-parenting is more challenging and there are over five times more one-parent mother families than one-parent father families \u2013 186,487 versus 33,509, according to the 2022 Census.<\/p>\n

The Barnardos study finds parents in one-parent households are twice as likely as parents in two-parent households to say they feel overwhelmed most of the time (29 per cent compared to 15 per cent), and two and a half times more likely to say they are depressed most of the time (19 per cent compared to 7 per cent).<\/p>\n

Parents tell us, and this is obvious, says Whyte, but when you have low mood or depression, you\u2019re tired. The daily predictable routine that children need is more difficult to do. <\/p>\n

Of the parents who say their mental health has negatively impacted their children:<\/p>\n

Half say it led to increased anxiety within their children and 55 per cent say it increased struggles regulating emotions.39 per cent believe it increased children\u2019s struggles with friendships\/relationships35 per cent see increased difficulties engaging in schools.46 per cent say their children have become less confident and a similar number more withdrawn and less secure. <\/p>\n

Danielle says mental health issues had hit her \u201cout of the blue\u201d one morning about five years before she was pregnant with her son. She started having visions of \u201chorrible things being done\u201d to family members and them crying for her help. <\/p>\n

\u201cI was walking around trying to protect people\u2019s kids and I was actually scaring them because in my head someone was going to harm them.\u201d She was referred to mental health services, but that episode passed within a week or two \u2013 only to return \u201cwith a vengeance\u201d about seven months later. <\/p>\n

\u201cI had nothing or nobody to turn to … I was completely isolated and alone.\u201d<\/p>\n

She tried to explain to a GP how she was seeing things, \u201cbut he didn\u2019t understand what I was trying to say. He gave me eczema cream because I have very bad eczema and he sent me home\u201d. <\/p>\n

\u201cThe voices in my head then told me that even he\u2019s telling me to keep my mouth shut. I became a prisoner in my own mind for four and a half years.\u201d<\/p>\n

By the time she became pregnant, she had lost her job, her home and had been abandoned by her baby\u2019s father. Living in a homeless women\u2019s shelter in Limerick, she was put in touch with Barnardos and Tusla support services \u201cbecause everybody knew I had mental health problems but me\u201d.<\/p>\n

She is full of praise for a Barnardos support worker, an \u201cearth angel\u201d, who helped in many ways, including bringing nappies, second-hand baby clothes and food vouchers. \u201cI know she wasn\u2019t going into my mind and making it better, but I didn\u2019t have to worry about some things because of her.\u201d <\/p>\n

\"DanielleDanielle says she believes the more mental health is discussed and the more support provided, the better. Photograph: Getty Images <\/p>\n

Danielle had always been determined to breastfeed her baby, so would not countenance the thought of having to take medication.<\/p>\n

\u201cMy son was three months old when I switched him from the breast to the bottle and everything that was going on inside my head erupted. He started sleeping for three to four hours in between feeds and for those three to four hours, I was walking around in circles talking to myself.\u201d<\/p>\n

After a few weeks, she became scared for her baby.<\/p>\n

\u201cI got worried for the way my mind was going,\u201d says Danielle (35), who contacted a relative. She was brought to hospital, where \u201cI broke down and I told them everything\u201d.<\/p>\n

Her son was six months old when she was diagnosed with schizophrenia, which is now well controlled with medication. Looking back, she wishes she had opened up about her mental health earlier. <\/p>\n

\u201cThings could have been so much different if I had spoken,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n

Now she believes the more mental health is discussed and the more support provided, the better. \u201cThere are really good people who are capable of doing things by mistake because of what\u2019s going on in their head.\u201d <\/p>\n

Danielle might have been one of them. But with the right medical treatment and parenting support, her life is now all that she had ever wished for. At age six, her son is \u201cthe brightest, happiest, happy-go-lucky little boy I\u2019ve ever met\u201d, she says, which she attributes to the education and the support she received from Barnardos. <\/p>\n

[\u00a0Managing parenting stress and making time for self-careOpens in new window<\/a>\u00a0]<\/p>\n

\u201cThey don\u2019t come into your home as a form of authority. They respect you as a human being, regardless of knowledge.\u201d She recalls how a support worker told her: \u201cYou can do it and you will.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI needed that,\u201d says Danielle, who will still ring for support \u201cwhen I feel I\u2019m failing as a parent\u201d. Meanwhile, she adds: \u201cI\u2019m working. My son is in full-time education. I have my own house. I have a future.\u201d<\/p>\n

Barnardos<\/a> parent support line 1800 910 123 is open, Monday-Friday, 10am-2pm.Parentline<\/a> 01-873 3500 is open Monday-Thursday, 10am-9pm and Friday, 10am-7pm.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"A mother, who was diagnosed with schizophrenia when her son was six months old, says she was \u201cterrified\u201d…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":444526,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[10],"tags":[132046,103,12875,61,60,410,1786,11760,53],"class_list":["post-444525","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-health","tag-barnardos","tag-health","tag-health-wellness","tag-ie","tag-ireland","tag-mental-health","tag-parenting","tag-parents","tag-tusla"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/444525","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=444525"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/444525\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/444526"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=444525"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=444525"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=444525"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}