A younger person in my life had a bad experience with drugs recently. She told me about it so that I might relay it to you as a salutary tale. <\/p>\n
But first, let\u2019s do a little time travel. Back in the 1980s, when people like me wore royal blue jumpers, diamante brooches and Rimmel foundation in Pale Biscuit, a show based in a London<\/a> comprehensive school called Grange Hill was one of our main sources of televisual<\/a> entertainment. <\/p>\n In 1986, when I was 15, the actors who played the students of Grange Hill released a truly terrible but well-intentioned anti-drugs pop song. It was called Just Say No. Some of you will recall that Just Say No was a phrase coined by Nancy Reagan. The US first lady thought that just saying no would be an effective tool for getting the youngs<\/a> of the day to keep away from the demon drugs. The catchphrase was given musical life by some genius who thought if anything was going to turn people off drugs, it was the sight of these teenage actors singing and rapping anti-drug sentiments badly at their fellow kids. The video featured teenage girls doing ballet and aerobics, positing these activities as an alternative to getting out of your box on illegal substances.<\/p>\n [\u00a0It\u2019s Zammo from Grange Hill. And he\u2019s back \u2013 in Albert SquareOpens in new window<\/a>\u00a0]<\/p>\n Drugs and addiction are not funny, but it\u2019s also true that people have sometimes been known to tell funny stories about drugs. I personally don\u2019t have any drug stories nearly as compelling as my fellow columnist S\u00e9amas O\u2019Reilly\u2019s<\/a> stunning account, told via the medium of Twitter When It Was Still Fun, circa 2018, of accidentally getting high just before serving drinks to former president of Ireland Mary McAleese<\/a>. Nobody does. Anywhere in the world. There is no better drugs story. With that Twitter thread, S\u00e9amas won the comedy drug story Olympics for all time. (His friend has even made an animated film about it, narrated by Chris O\u2019Dowd<\/a> and Aisling Bea<\/a>, showing at the Tribeca Film Festival in New York next month.) <\/p>\n My only, much duller, story is that decades ago, I took half a tab of a stimulant that was in vogue at the time, lying in the sunshine in my brother\u2019s garden in east London. It was such an interesting experience that I ended up phoning my mother while prone on the grass to tell her that I\u2019d taken it. Ann Ingle was not impressed. <\/p>\n Now for the salutary tale. A while ago my elder millennial friend was in a part of Spain, where drugs known as edibles are perfectly legal. Unfortunately, she took too much of a cookie laced with THC (the main psychoactive compound found in a cannabis plant) than was wise for her small frame. Everyone else who ate the cookie was fine, but she went back to her hotel room and had a disturbing experience where she woke up with a start at 3am, thinking she was definitely having a heart attack. She also started talking to the wardrobe, convinced it was a person.<\/p>\n At this point, my friend did what any right thinking elder millennial alone, in a foreign country and off their bin on drugs would do. She consulted ChatGPT. \u201cI took the cookie about three hours ago on a full stomach and now it\u2019s really hitting, Roger.\u201d (She calls her AI, Roger.) \u201cI am very high and feel like my heart is going to jump out of my chest, how can I get to sleep?\u201d<\/p>\n Roger was on it like a car bonnet. \u201cWhat you\u2019re feeling is very normal for edibles \u2013 they peak late and linger. It feels like a heart attack but it is adrenalin. The good news is you don\u2019t have to fix it, just ease your body into rest. Reassure your nervous system, out loud if necessary. \u2018I am safe. This is temporary. I\u2019ve taken a drug and it\u2019s doing what it does.\u2019 That alone can settle a buzz.\u201d <\/p>\n Roger also suggested slow breathing. Small sips of water. \u201cPut on a warm blanket, fluffy socks. If your mind is racing try this grounding technique. Name five things you can hear. Four things you can feel. Take three deep, slow breaths. You are not in danger. You will sleep. Even if it takes longer than usual. Avoid more drugs and doomscrolling. I will stay with you and help you ride it down.\u201d Sunrise emoji. <\/p>\n