{"id":485681,"date":"2026-06-06T05:32:09","date_gmt":"2026-06-06T05:32:09","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/485681\/"},"modified":"2026-06-06T05:32:09","modified_gmt":"2026-06-06T05:32:09","slug":"ross-ocarroll-kelly-we-filled-a-skip-with-all-the-things-sorcha-decided-she-can-live-without-until-she-changed-her-mind-the-irish-times","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/485681\/","title":{"rendered":"Ross O\u2019Carroll-Kelly: We filled a skip with all the things Sorcha decided she can live without, until she changed her mind \u2013 The Irish Times"},"content":{"rendered":"

So the latest \u201cthing\u201d in our house is the Swedish death clean<\/a>. For those of you who aren\u2019t married to Sorcha Lalor, this is a decluttering method that\u2019s meant to spare your loved ones the trouble of sorting through your shit after you\u2019ve dropped the mic.<\/p>\n

So we spent last Saturday and Sunday filling a skip with all of the things that my wife decided we can live without. This ended up being basically the entire house contents, aport from the Nespresso, the Smeg retro toaster in baby blue and a photograph of her and two of her Mountie mates with Ray D\u2019Arcy after they appeared on Blackboard Jungle and lost to \u2013 and I\u2019m not being a dick saying it \u2013 Sion Hill. <\/p>\n

Yeah, no, once she saw the big, empty skip, she ended up getting totally carried away with the idea of filling it. She had this, like, distant look in her eye and she was talking at twice her normal speed, like the time she storted taking caffeine suppositories to try to fit into her old debs dress for the Vico Road and Vico Road-Adjacent Residents\u2019 Association\u2019s Annual Christmas Ball in The Shelbourne.<\/p>\n

So on Sunday night, the usual happens. Lying in bed, Sorcha ends up having second thoughts. She keeps remembering \u2013 and I quote \u2013 the sentimental value of various items we\u2019ve thrown into the skip. After a pretty much sleepless night, she hustles me out of the bed at, like, 6am on the bank holiday Monday and tells me to go and bring everything back in.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m like, \u201cEverything?\u201d<\/p>\n

And she goes, \u201cJust to be on the safe side.\u201d<\/p>\n

So \u2013 yeah, no \u2013 that\u2019s what I end up doing? And it takes me pretty much the entire day. But by the end of the weekend, everything is back in its usual spot, and the madness that gripped my wife for 48 hours has basically disappeared.<\/p>\n

She\u2019s going, \u201cOh my God, I am, like, so embarrassed.\u201d<\/p>\n

[\u00a0\u2018Ross, I think you\u2019re finally getting your comeuppance from the universe\u2019Opens in new window<\/a>\u00a0]<\/p>\n

I\u2019m there, \u201cWhat are you embarrassed about? You tried something and you failed miserably. Like the time you decided that Irish was going to be the first language of our home.\u201d<\/p>\n

She\u2019s like, \u201cBut they\u2019re coming to collect the skip in the morning and it\u2019s empty aport from some grass cuttings and a few fallen branches.\u201d<\/p>\n

And I\u2019m there, \u201cSorcha, go to sleep.\u201d<\/p>\n

Which she eventually does. So then at, like, eleven o\u2019clock the following morning, or some ridiculous time like that, I\u2019m lying in bed and I hear this clanging noise in the front gorden. I stick my head out of the window and I notice Joy Felton \u2013 yeah, no, one of the neighbours \u2013 looking into the skip.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m there, \u201cYou\u2019re too late, Joy.\u201d<\/p>\n

She goes, \u201cI beg your pordon?\u201d the way people do around here.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m like, \u201cWhat are you on, some kind of scavenger hunt? We changed our minds. We brought it all back in. So, you know, off is the direction in which you might consider focking.\u201d<\/p>\n

And she goes, \u201cSorcha put a message up on the Vico Road and Vico Road-Adjacent Residents\u2019 Association WhatsApp, saying that she had an empty skip in the gorden if anyone had anything they wanted to put in it.\u201d<\/p>\n

And \u2013 yeah, no \u2013 that\u2019s when I notice that the skip is pretty much full again?<\/p>\n

I\u2019m like, \u201cWhat? The actual\u2013?\u201d<\/p>\n

I tip downstairs. Sorcha is sitting at the island, sipping a coffee, not a care in the world.<\/p>\n

She goes, \u201cBefore you say anything, Ross, I told the neighbours\u2013\u201d<\/p>\n

I\u2019m like, \u2018It doesn\u2019t matter whether I read the list or not. This is not our stuff, Sorcha,\u2019 and then I say the same thing to the dude. I\u2019m like, \u2018Dude, this is not our stuff\u2019<\/p>\n

I\u2019m there, \u201cI know what you told the neighbours. You know that skip is full out there?\u201d<\/p>\n

She\u2019s like, \u201cIt\u2019s better that it\u2019s full than empty. Honestly, Ross, I would have died of embarrassment if they\u2019d come to collect it and there was nothing in it. Also, it was the neighbourly thing to do.\u201d<\/p>\n

I\u2019m there, \u201cNeighbourly?\u201d<\/p>\n

She goes, \u201cYes, Ross, neighbourly.\u201d<\/p>\n

I\u2019m like, \u201cWhen have the people around here ever been neighbourly? And don\u2019t mention baking each other banana bread during the first Covid lockdown. No one was in their right mind.\u201d<\/p>\n

She goes, \u201cIt\u2019s nice to be nice, Ross.\u201d<\/p>\n

I\u2019m there, \u201cI don\u2019t know how the people around here haven\u2019t knocked that out of you. You give them an inch and they take the piss.\u201d<\/p>\n

All of a sudden, we hear the sound of, like, an orticulated lorry outside?<\/p>\n

Sorcha goes, \u201cOh, thank God! I can\u2019t wait until it\u2019s gone, Ross,\u201d and I follow her to the front door and then out into the front gorden.<\/p>\n

There\u2019s a dude wearing a yellow bib and he\u2019s \u2013 yeah, no \u2013 taking items out of the skip and leaving them on the gravel path.<\/p>\n

Sorcha goes, \u201cWhat\u2019s he doing? Oh my God, what\u2019s he doing?\u201d<\/p>\n

I\u2019m like, \u201cDude, what the fock?\u201d because I have a way with words and always have. <\/p>\n

\u201cYou can\u2019t put things like that into a skip,\u201d he goes. <\/p>\n

[\u00a0Ross O\u2019Carroll-Kelly: We\u2019re driving through Donnybrook and Sorcha shouts \u2018Stop!\u2019Opens in new window<\/a>\u00a0]<\/p>\n

I\u2019m there, \u201cLike what?\u201d<\/p>\n

He gestures to all the shit that\u2019s standing on the gravel, none of which I recognise, by the way. We\u2019re talking six or seven old TVs. We\u2019re talking 70 or 80 paint cans. We\u2019re talking five or six gas cylinders. We\u2019re talking a pile of old tyres. We\u2019re talking an actual fridge \u2013 literally. And now it\u2019s all sitting in our front gorden.<\/p>\n

The dude goes, \u201cYou would have been given a list when the skip was delivered \u2013 all the things that couldn\u2019t go in it?\u201d<\/p>\n

Sorcha\u2019s there, \u201cRoss, did you read the list?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u2018What did I tell you? The people around here \u2013 you give them an inch\u2013\u2019<\/p>\n

I\u2019m like, \u201cIt doesn\u2019t matter whether I read the list or not. This is not our stuff, Sorcha,\u201d and then I say the same thing to the dude. I\u2019m like, \u201cDude, this is not our stuff.\u201d<\/p>\n

He\u2019s like, \u201cWhat do you mean, it\u2019s not your stuff?\u201d<\/p>\n

I\u2019m there, \u201cAs in, like, literally that? My wife put a message on the WhatsApp\u2013\u201d and the dude laughs in a way that suggests he\u2019s seen it all before.<\/p>\n

He goes, \u201cThe WhatsApp, huh? That\u2019s a classic. Sorry, you\u2019ll have to take it up with your neighbours.\u201d<\/p>\n

I\u2019m there, \u201cBut we don\u2019t know which neighbours left what.\u201d<\/p>\n

And he\u2019s like, \u201cNot my problem, pal,\u201d<\/p>\n

The skip is lifted onto the back of the truck and a minute or two later the dude drives off, leaving us with all of the neighbourhood\u2019s old junk.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m there, \u201cWhat did I tell you? The people around here \u2013 you give them an inch\u2013\u201d<\/p>\n

And she goes, \u201cSeriously, Ross, I don\u2019t want to hear it.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"So the latest \u201cthing\u201d in our house is the Swedish death clean. For those of you who aren\u2019t…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":485682,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[61,60,709,42327,80],"class_list":["post-485681","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-technology","tag-ie","tag-ireland","tag-magazine","tag-ross-o-carroll-kelly","tag-technology"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/485681","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=485681"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/485681\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/485682"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=485681"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=485681"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=485681"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}