{"id":505626,"date":"2026-06-18T06:56:09","date_gmt":"2026-06-18T06:56:09","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/505626\/"},"modified":"2026-06-18T06:56:09","modified_gmt":"2026-06-18T06:56:09","slug":"i-try-to-mitigate-my-guilt-for-no-longer-saying-thanks-to-bus-drivers-the-irish-times","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/505626\/","title":{"rendered":"I try to mitigate my guilt for no longer saying thanks to bus drivers \u2013 The Irish Times"},"content":{"rendered":"

The day buses<\/a> in Ireland started using central doors is the day an important and implied social contract started its decline. For decades we had been unselfconsciously muttering our thanks to the driver as we exited past them. It was rarely commented on; rather, it felt innate. When exiting via central doors was introduced, we were faced with a dilemma. The instinct to thank remains but being forced to roar the thanks up to the front of the bus, where the driver might not even hear it, presents a problem of performance. Where previously the practice had been an intimate display of manners, now it has become a bit of a hokey routine, not helped by every piece of advice for tourists to Ireland on the internet implying that not thanking the bus driver is punishable by death. <\/p>\n

I lost confidence in the big-picture social contract \u2013 that citizens agree to pay taxes and try to obey the law of the land in exchange for the decent provision of housing, healthcare, social welfare and standards of living by the government \u2013 some time ago. However, I\u2019m grateful there are micro-agreements we continue to maintain here in Ireland on a local and national level that uphold decency and manners. There are the obvious ones born out of our sometimes problematic drinking culture: standing your round, telling the bar staff the lad next to you was actually there first, mentioning Guinness at the top of the order so the pint can go on immediately. <\/p>\n

There are the ones that more keenly demonstrate the urban\/rural divide. The practice of giving a little wave when you pass another vehicle is more common the farther away you get from the Pale. In some places it\u2019s a flick of the finger, in others it\u2019s a more flamboyant showing of the back of the hand. I\u2019ve seen this demonstrated most aggressively on the roads of Donegal. <\/p>\n

Use of the front door is also strictly limited in many parts of Ireland. When I was growing up, I had a friend whose family didn\u2019t even know where the key for the front door was, as it was only there for decoration and never, ever in use. When my dad was nearing the end of his life it became of paramount importance to give the front door a facelift and a new coat of paint, as a wake and a funeral meant it would be receiving visitors in its official capacity as a front door and needed to look its best. Most neighbours would use the back door for day-to-day business and often wouldn\u2019t even knock. <\/p>\n

We\u2019re socially contracted as a people to remain deeply inured against receiving praise. If someone compliments your outfit it\u2019s traditional for the initial reply to be along the lines of:\u201cOh, this hideous old rag? I just found it wrapped around a bog body and threw it on. I don\u2019t know how I haven\u2019t been arrested.\u201d When the admirer persists, you can then move on to detailing where it was purchased and for how much, while continuing to insist that it\u2019s no better than wearing a bin bag. Only on the third and final round can you grudgingly accept the praise and mutter \u201cthanks\u201d. Important to note that if you\u2019re wearing a dress it\u2019s vital to point out if the garment has pockets. If what you\u2019re wearing is reversible you should open every conversation with that, irrespective of whether you\u2019ve received a compliment or not. <\/p>\n

Code switching \u2013 changing vocabulary, language, dialect or accent depending on context \u2013 is part of the rich tapestry of Irish linguistics. We throw in c\u00fapla focal in everyday speech; m\u00fainteoir, leabhar, siopa, m\u00e1la, sl\u00e1n would be in common usage for me. It\u2019s also so lovely to hear immigrants adopt Irish turns of phrase like \u201cgrand\u201d and \u201cthanks a million\u201d and the ever-present soft T and mix them with their own languages and accents. We code switch depending on location too. A conversation in the local bar in Tipperary or Cavan with friends might sound a lot different from one in a Dublin setting, and it is an unspoken rule that any slagging over such switching must not expose or embarrass the speaker. Sometimes you just need to use a different voice, and it is deeply unsound not to respect that. <\/p>\n

To go back to the buses, I\u2019m grateful for the few who still manage to pull off a thanks to the driver with panache. I try to mitigate my guilt for not saying it by forcing eye contact and a big friendly smile when I board instead. If the driver engages, they\u2019re getting an enthusiastic \u201chello\u201d too. I can\u2019t help it. It\u2019s in my blood. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"The day buses in Ireland started using central doors is the day an important and implied social contract…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":505627,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[8],"tags":[615,38283,25772,93,631,61,60],"class_list":["post-505626","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-entertainment","tag-dublin","tag-dublin-bus","tag-emer-mclysaght","tag-entertainment","tag-for-you","tag-ie","tag-ireland"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/505626","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=505626"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/505626\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/505627"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=505626"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=505626"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=505626"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}