{"id":528541,"date":"2026-07-02T01:35:22","date_gmt":"2026-07-02T01:35:22","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/528541\/"},"modified":"2026-07-02T01:35:22","modified_gmt":"2026-07-02T01:35:22","slug":"my-aunts-were-both-executors-of-my-moms-will-theyre-asking-me-for-something-ridiculous","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/528541\/","title":{"rendered":"My Aunts Were Both Executors of My Mom\u2019s Will. They\u2019re Asking Me for Something Ridiculous."},"content":{"rendered":"

Pay Dirt is Slate\u2019s money advice column. Have a question? Send it to Kristin and Ilyce here<\/a>. (It\u2019s anonymous!)<\/p>\n

Dear Pay Dirt,<\/p>\n

My mother passed away after a long illness, and left her estate equally to me, my sister, and our two aunts. My mother and I had a complicated relationship, and while I lived a two-hour drive away, I only visited occasionally. Both of my aunts are retired, and even though my mom lived in a care facility, they helped out a lot, so I understand the equal split. However, because they were both executors of her will, they also earned a small income, which is taxed, while the rest of the estate is not. They have asked my sister and I to pay them each $10,000 to cover the tax they will have to pay on that income. I think this is ridiculous, as they are already receiving a large sum plus an income. I want to refuse. My sister thinks we should do it to keep the peace.<\/p>\n

\u2014Feeling Taxed<\/p>\n

Dear Feeling Taxed,<\/p>\n

There\u2019s no reason you should feel taxed. Your aunts received compensation for the role they agreed to take on, and the taxes that come with that job are theirs to pay. That\u2019s how it works. They\u2019re essentially asking you to help pay their own taxes, and you don\u2019t need to feel guilty for saying no. Your sister can choose to keep the peace, and you can respectfully decline with something like, \u201cI\u2019m not comfortable paying this, but I appreciate everything you did for Mom.\u201d<\/p>\n

I get that you might feel weird pushing back because your relationship with your mother was complicated, but that\u2019s your issue to deal with, not theirs. And paying their taxes is not going to make everything right. Your mom set up her will the way she wanted it. You\u2019re not doing anything wrong by refusing to take on an extra financial obligation that isn\u2019t yours.<\/p>\n

\n Please keep questions short (<150 words), and don\u2018t submit the same question to multiple columns. We are unable to edit or remove questions after publication. Use pseudonyms to maintain anonymity. Your submission may be used in other Slate advice columns and may be edited for publication.\n <\/p>\n

Dear Pay Dirt,<\/p>\n

My daughter is 10. We\u2019d like to start giving her an allowance and for her to have some independence with money. I think we\u2019re probably late with this; we\u2019ve just been with her all the time and when we haven\u2019t been, she\u2019s been with her friends\u2019 families; having her having her own money has just never come up. It\u2019s coming up now and I\u2019m just not sure how to do it! Her friends all use Apple Pay on their phones, but we don\u2019t allow my daughter to have a phone yet. Giving her my credit card seems like an accident waiting to happen, but surely I can\u2019t get her her own, right? I never have cash and so giving her that would be an extra errand for me, which I don\u2019t need. Help! I think I\u2019m probably overthinking this because I\u2019m terrible with money myself. I\u2019d like my daughter to be better with it, but it\u2019s the blind leading the blind here.<\/p>\n

\u2014Kid Money<\/p>\n

Dear Kid Money,<\/p>\n

Ten is actually a great age to start an allowance because your daughter is old enough to understand the basics of saving and spending. And no, she doesn\u2019t need a phone to have her own money. You don\u2019t need to hand her your credit card, either, and you definitely don\u2019t need to get her one.<\/p>\n

There are, however, debit card options designed for exactly this kind of thing \u2014Greenlight<\/a>, Acorns Early<\/a>, and Modak<\/a> are a few options. These types of cards come with parental controls where you can transfer her allowance automatically and she can use it in the same places her friends use Apple Pay. You can think of it like training wheels for money.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

My Son Wants Our Granddaughter to Come Live With Us. I Would Love That. But Uh, Her Mom Might Not.
\n <\/a><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

My Aunts Are Already Getting Half of My Mom\u2019s Estate. What They\u2019re Asking for Now Is Just Too Much.
\n <\/a><\/p>\n

The bigger question might be deciding what the allowance is for, and what kind of money skills you want to teach her. Will this allowance simply teach the fundamentals of saving and spending? Is it tied to chores? Will she learn how to earn money, too? It might help to start small and work your way up. For example, maybe you start with the basics of spending and saving, give her $5 -10 a week and see how that goes. Then, if she wants to earn more money, you can introduce chores and she can learn how to budget an income. Many of these debit cards will help you figure that part out, too.<\/p>\n

It doesn\u2019t have to be complicated, but set an intention, then pick a number and let her experiment. She might make some mistakes. She might buy something she regrets, then not have enough for something else. But that\u2019s the whole point.<\/p>\n

Since you\u2019re both learning the basics together, check out some resources that teach \u201cmoney 101\u201d skills. The FDIC has a Money Smart Basics packet<\/a>, for example. The CFPB has a similar resource.<\/a> These are meant for kids but they can be useful for adults who are learning, too. You could even integrate it into the allowance plan\u2014make financial literacy a weekly lesson that you both do together once her allowance hits.<\/p>\n

\u2014Kristin<\/p>\n

More Money Advice From Slate<\/p>\n

I have an adult son and my wife has two teenage daughters. While they are great girls and we generally get along, I am very much mom\u2019s husband rather than their stepdad. Their father is very much in the picture. My uncle recently died and left me his entire estate. My wife and I will be able to pay off the house and save a huge chunk for retirement. My son is a teacher and he loves his work but gets paid peanuts. I decided to split some of my inheritance so he could pay off his school loans and maybe get a down payment on a place of his own. My wife is mad that I don\u2019t want to use any of the money on my stepdaughters.<\/a><\/p>\n

Get the latest from Prudie and our columnists in your inbox each weekday, plus special bonus letters on Saturdays.\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Pay Dirt is Slate\u2019s money advice column. Have a question? Send it to Kristin and Ilyce here. (It\u2019s…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":528542,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[14],"tags":[752,72,4888,176,61,60,174,175],"class_list":["post-528541","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-personal-finance","tag-advice","tag-business","tag-family","tag-finance","tag-ie","tag-ireland","tag-personal-finance","tag-personalfinance"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/528541","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=528541"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/528541\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/528542"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=528541"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=528541"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=528541"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}