{"id":548415,"date":"2026-07-14T01:35:30","date_gmt":"2026-07-14T01:35:30","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/548415\/"},"modified":"2026-07-14T01:35:30","modified_gmt":"2026-07-14T01:35:30","slug":"holidaying-as-a-single-parent-i-was-conscious-of-the-tables-with-fathers-getting-served-faster-the-irish-times","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/548415\/","title":{"rendered":"Holidaying as a single parent: \u2018I was conscious of the tables with fathers getting served faster\u2019 \u2013 The Irish Times"},"content":{"rendered":"

Summer can be challenging for single parents<\/a> taking kids on holiday. The cost, the logistics and sometimes the feeling of not quite fitting in are just some of the reasons why a break away for these mums and dads can be tricky. <\/p>\n

Travelling with your children when you are not in a couple can be daunting. Some venues welcome this growing demographic with open arms. Others are still selling holidays like it\u2019s another era. <\/p>\n

\u201cIt drives me mad when hotels advertise a \u2018family break\u2019 and it\u2019s always a mom and a dad in the advertising. Families look very different in Ireland now,\u201d says single parent Linda O\u2019Sullivan. <\/p>\n

She\u2019s mum to daughter Caoimhe (16) and son Michael (9), and has been a single parent for seven years. <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve had holidays where they\u2019ve tried to charge me for two adults and two children and I\u2019ve challenged hotels \u2013 I\u2019m one adult going on holidays with my two children and I shouldn\u2019t be penalised for being a single parent.\u201d <\/p>\n

This narrow definition of \u201cfamily\u201d in \u201cfamily holiday\u201d stung when she was newly single, but now she\u2019s comfortable calling it out.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve held people to account because it\u2019s not appropriate for you to say what my family should look like. My family is what it is. I should only be charged for one adult. I\u2019ve become very good at saying, \u2018My family is me and my two children and this is what I\u2019m looking for.\u2019\u201d <\/p>\n

Attitude in hospitality settings matters, and the mums and dads who may most need the break can sometimes feel the least welcome. Some online booking systems aren\u2019t built for single parents. When booking for one adult and two kids, a hotel will often direct them to book in as two adults and one child, or the booking defaults to a larger family room. <\/p>\n

But single parents don\u2019t need a double bed. The two adult dinners and two full Irish breakfasts priced into the \u201cfamily\u201d deal aren\u2019t needed either. <\/p>\n

\"LindaLinda O’Sullivan on holiday in Eurodisney with her children Caoimhe (16) and Michael (9) <\/p>\n

O\u2019Sullivan has become a return visitor to Eurocamp in Paris<\/a>. Its system allows you to select the number of adults and offers a special discount for single parents, she says. \u201cYou are not made to feel like you are taking up a space, or you have to make up for not having a second adult.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hotels of course can charge what they like for a room. It can make good business sense to maximise adult occupancy \u2013 two adults are likely to spend more than one on food, drinks and spa treatments, right?<\/p>\n

But one-parent families aren\u2019t the anomaly they used to be. Almost 220,000 family households in Ireland, or 17 per cent of all households, were headed by one parent at the time of the last census in 2022. This included 186,487 one-parent mother families, and 33,509 one-parent father families. <\/p>\n

Some holiday venues, however, don\u2019t acknowledge these families\u2019 needs, or would prefer not to have their custom. Their marketing and pricing is squarely aimed at traditional, nuclear families.<\/p>\n

The Irish Hotels Federation<\/a> has no remit in the pricing and packaging of hotel products \u2013 it\u2019s a matter for individual hotels, it says in response to a query. <\/p>\n

Some self-proclaimed \u201cfamily-friendly\u201d establishments seem to think heterosexual two-parent families are the only ones that exist. Marketing slogans that invite \u201cMum and Dad\u201d to relax together while the kids are entertained are out of time. <\/p>\n

[\u00a0\u2018Australia left me cold\u2019: Irish Times writers on their favourite – and most overrated – holiday destinationsOpens in new window<\/a>\u00a0]<\/p>\n

\u201cAt 17 per cent of households in Ireland, single-parent families are probably as big as the LGBTQ community<\/a> \u2013 so why is all of their marketing around the heteronormative, together, family unit?\u201d asks Aoife Desmond. <\/p>\n

She is a single parent to a daughter and board member of One Family<\/a>, an organisation that seeks equality for all families. <\/p>\n

\u201cHotels need to be mindful \u2013 we do have economic power,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n

When Desmond first became a single parent, going on holidays with her daughter, who was nine at the time, took courage. <\/p>\n

\u201cAt the beginning, the key thing was just having the bravery to go,\u201d says Desmond. \u201cYou do feel a bit different as a single parent, and that can feel isolating.\u201d <\/p>\n

She has been in a co-parenting situation for the last eight years. Her daughter is now 17 and the two have had numerous adventures together. Some were more enjoyable than others. <\/p>\n

\"'You‘You do feel a bit different as a single parent, and that can feel isolating,’ says Aoife Desmond, on holiday in Antigua <\/p>\n

\u201cThe first holiday was very stressful. You are still very raw, you are kind of uncovering your new status,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n

They went to a huge resort complex in Spain and it was just too big, says Desmond. Holidaying solo with a child without another adult to help with logistics was challenging.<\/p>\n

\u201cGoing to the loo, you had to pack up all your things from your lounger every time,\u201d she recalls. \u201cYou don\u2019t really think about those challenges before, and I just chose the wrong hotel, a big resort, and it was totally unsuitable.\u201d <\/p>\n

When her daughter was 10, the pair went to Barbados, choosing a smaller hotel. \u201cIt was just 20 rooms, it felt very safe. There were less young families and more retired couples, or families with older kids. Everyone was lovely to us.\u201d<\/p>\n

Now she chooses destinations where she and her daughter can do day trips so they are less reliant on the hotel experience. \u201cFinding other people who are not in that heteronormative family dynamic, that definitely reduced the isolation for me,\u201d she says. <\/p>\n

Destinations advertising family breaks can fail to think through how solo parents experience their amenities, says Desmond. Marketing and pricing in access to spa facilities as part of a package, but not facilitating solo parents with children to use them, means someone hasn\u2019t thought about the solo parent experience, or how they can get value for money, she says.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t put all the single parents in one corner, it\u2019s up to them if they want to mix<\/p>\n

\u2014 \u00a0Valerie Steinbeck<\/p>\n

She describes one west of Ireland hotel where her daughter, then aged 10, was not able to access the spa or wait for her mum in the spa area.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe facilities weren\u2019t accessible to my child, so I would have had to leave her in the hotel room and I wasn\u2019t going to do that. If something is included, but someone is excluded because of their status, then your packaging is off,\u201d says Desmond. <\/p>\n

Valerie Steinbeck isn\u2019t a single parent, but when her three daughters were younger she holidayed with them solo most of the time because her partner, who works in hospitality, often had to work. <\/p>\n

She found the solo experience uncomfortable at times. <\/p>\n

\u201cMy youngest was a toddler, and the other two were five and seven,\u201d she says. \u201cEating out in the evening in the hotel, I was very conscious of the tables \u2013 with fathers basically \u2013 moms and dads were getting served faster. They were getting more attention, their drinks were replenished.<\/p>\n

\u201cI found it embarrassing a few times with young kids, where you are sitting there with a table full of dirty crockery and nobody is coming over to see what you need. There were instances like that over the years where I felt bad.\u201d<\/p>\n

Steinbeck works at the Gleneagle Hotel in Killarney, Co Kerry, and in 2017 she pitched the idea of offering \u201cFlying Solo\u201d family breaks for parents holidaying alone with children. <\/p>\n

Work schedules, annual leave restrictions, trying to cover care during long school holidays \u2013 there are lots of reasons for one parent to head away with the kids on their own. <\/p>\n

\u201cThat option wasn\u2019t there at the time and it used to frustrate me no end,\u201d says Steinbeck.<\/p>\n

Before launch, the Gleneagle trained staff on how to make parents travelling without partners feel more welcome. <\/p>\n

\"ValerieValerie Steinbeck on holiday with her three daughters in 2019 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt was about guests not being made to feel different, or not getting different levels of attention,\u201d says Steinbeck. \u201cIf you have booked a room on your own and you are dining with kids, you might need a bit of extra help, or you might not.<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t put all the single parents in one corner either, it\u2019s up to them if they want to mix themselves. Be attentive, but don\u2019t ask a solo parent if they are waiting for someone else to join them at the table.\u201d <\/p>\n

The Gleneagle now runs kids\u2019 clubs at Easter and summer, giving parents holidaying solo with kids a break. There\u2019s a kids\u2019 disco at night too where parents can sit and relax, giving them a chance to mix in a way that isn\u2019t forced, says Steinbeck. <\/p>\n

\u201cFamilies look very different today than they did 20 years ago, and holidays should reflect that,\u201d she says. \u201cIt\u2019s not always possible for couples to get time off together, so we regularly see parents who simply want to take the kids away for a few days on their own without it becoming unaffordable.\u201d<\/p>\n

Other single parents cite the Midlands Park Hotel in Portlaoise as overtly welcoming. The Amber Springs Hotel in Gorey and the Riverside Park in Enniscorthy are also name-checked. The popular online single-parent hub Frolo<\/a> sees many single parents meeting online and arranging holidays and attending festivals together too. <\/p>\n

[\u00a0Hobby holidays: Nine places to engage with your passions, from hiking to horseridingOpens in new window<\/a>\u00a0]<\/p>\n

Cost is a huge factor. School holidays can be a difficult and expensive juggle for single parents working outside the home. Some will go into debt plugging childcare gaps, others are forced into less well paid or part-time work with more amenable hours. <\/p>\n

More than seven in 10 single-adult households with children under 18 had at least some difficulty making ends meet in 2024, compared with three in 10 households composed of two adults, according to Central Statistics Office figures cited by One Family. Taking any holiday, especially during school holidays, is prohibitively expensive for many single parents. That\u2019s why room rates really matter. <\/p>\n

For Steinbeck, staying in a hotel with her young kids used to mean booking a family room. \u201cI was paying as if there were two adults,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n

\u201cIf you book a family room, the hotel prices it for two adults \u2013 so they might say an adult is \u20ac100 each and we are only going to charge the kids \u20ac25 each, so I ended up paying \u20ac250 for me and a couple of kids.<\/p>\n

\u201cI thought it would be great if we did not penalise people because they did not have a partner to come on holidays with them. I wanted us to charge the adult rate for one adult and then the child\u2019s normal rate, and that\u2019s what we did.\u201d <\/p>\n

\"LindaLinda O’Sullivan at Eurodisney with daughter Caoimhe and son Michael <\/p>\n

\u201cIs it just the three of you?\u201d <\/p>\n

That\u2019s a question O\u2019Sullivan has been asked more than once. There can still be the assumption that your party, when it comprises one parent, is incomplete. But there are many hotels in Ireland that go out of their way to make solo parents feel at home, she says.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve had a glass of wine sent over and more often than not, it\u2019s a female member of staff. They notice you are on your own with the two children and they are trying to make you feel that little bit more welcome.\u201d<\/p>\n

On another occasion, a hotel manager quietly took care of the bill for her family\u2019s meal on the last night of their three-night stay. <\/p>\n

She encourages newly single parents to advocate for themselves and ask for pricing that fits their family\u2019s needs. <\/p>\n

\u201cWhen you think about it, they are almost discriminating against you for being a single-parent family. That shouldn\u2019t be allowed, because if it was on the basis of your religious beliefs or sexual orientation, it would be a problem, so it shouldn\u2019t be the case for your family status either,\u201d O\u2019Sullivan says. <\/p>\n

\u201cYou shouldn\u2019t be stigmatised, but as we know in this country, women and in particular single parents have been stigmatised for years. It\u2019s really hard, that mindset, or people giving you this glance of sympathy, but I\u2019m like, \u2018I don\u2019t need that, I\u2019m fine. I\u2019m with my children on a holiday that I\u2019ve been able to pay for myself. You should marvel at me.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Summer can be challenging for single parents taking kids on holiday. The cost, the logistics and sometimes the…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":548416,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[72,61,60,37728,709,1786,11760],"class_list":["post-548415","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-business","tag-business","tag-ie","tag-ireland","tag-irish-hotels-federation","tag-magazine","tag-parenting","tag-parents"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/548415","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=548415"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/548415\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/548416"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=548415"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=548415"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=548415"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}