Now that it\u2019s all Greek to us with the release of Odysseus, Hollywood must surely turn its big-screen attention to some of the other classics.<\/p>\n
If they are wondering which ones to remake, can I recommend a rule of thumb \u2014 did it feature in the Folens primary school readers from the 1980s? Somewhere between Stage 2 Book 5 Myth and Magic and Stage 3 Flying Colours or Silver Springs, we small children were agog at the doings of the Greeks.<\/p>\n
There wasn\u2019t much talk of The Odyssey at that stage. Folens probably figured a house full of suitors slaughtering Odysseus’ cattle, propositioning his wife and importuning his slaves was not something we were ready for outside of Mass.<\/p>\n
But we definitely learned about the Wooden Horse of Troy. Unlike other myths, people think there might have been a war in that area. There mightn\u2019t have been a giant 30-man horse, but maybe there was a smaller one with one or two people hiding in it.<\/p>\n
Or no horse at all, just a siege-engine with a horse\u2019s head that knocked the walls. Or a boat that looked like a horse.<\/p>\n
Still though, whatever the reality, the story was remembered 2,000 years later. Because it had one detail you could hang onto so you\u2019d forget the madness of the other stuff.<\/p>\n
\n That\u2019s why Icarus flying too close to the sun stuck with us. Despite what his father told him. Teachers must have absolutely LOVED doing that one. The king of all I Told You So, And You Wouldn\u2019t Listen and Now your Wax Wing Sealant Has Melted, And You\u2019re Dead stories.\n <\/p>\n
\u201cCome down off that wall you\u2019ll break your legs\u201d on steroids. If you think about Irish myths, what do you remember? Maybe the Salmon of Knowledge? Why? Because a child did The One Thing They Were Told Not To.<\/p>\n
\n Theseus and the Minotaur: A star of Folens Stage Two Book 5 Myth and Magic. Unforgettable for a lot of things: first, the ball of thread that Ariadne gives Theseus to find his way back.<\/p>\n
There\u2019s something about the breadcrumbs of Hansel and Gretel and the thread of Theseus. I think it really stuck with us because of a fear of getting lost and how to find our way back. The whole bull-man thing.<\/p>\n
What was the story there? Wisely, Folens steered clear of how the Minotaur, human mother, bull father came to be. Let\u2019s say the line from Father Ted: \u201cI think we want to steer clear of the whole area of being in love with the horse\u201d is relevant here. So there was no mention the Minotaur\u2019s mother had a wooden frame shaped like a cow built.<\/p>\n
\n The myths we learned and loved are based on some of the most effed-up, weird stuff.\n <\/p>\n
I\u2019m not sure if it was in English class we heard about Hercules. He had the mother of all TO DO Lists \u2014 12 things in total \u2014 various lions, hydras, and belts to contend with, but what has always stuck with me is that he was clearing out the Augean stables.<\/p>\n
Some 1,000 divine cows, prodigious amounts of shite. This was considered fantastical and mythical before milk quotas were done away with. Now it\u2019s just \u201can economically viable agricultural unit\u201d.<\/p>\n
If you\u2019ve ever cleaned cowshite out of a shed, you\u2019ll know the only thing keeping you going is the sense of progress. But imagine doing it with no progress. Hercules eventually cleans out the stables by diverting two rivers to flush them out. No Nitrates Directive there.<\/p>\n
I wonder what myths are being made now that will last. We can\u2019t assume a continuous record from now for the next 2,000 years. What mad story will last and puzzle archaeologists? Maybe Folens will play a part. The year 4026 begins with the exciting discovery of an old Ann and Barry book.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Now that it\u2019s all Greek to us with the release of Odysseus, Hollywood must surely turn its big-screen…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":565274,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[61,60,80],"class_list":["post-565273","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-technology","tag-ie","tag-ireland","tag-technology"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/565273","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=565273"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/565273\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/565274"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=565273"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=565273"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=565273"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}