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\n Emer McLysaght<\/p>\n
Author and journalist<\/p>\n
In Nobody Needs This, a new series for The Journal, Emer McLysaght focuses her eagle eye on the trends, products and notions we can do without. It\u2019s not all giving out, however. She\u2019ll also be keeping up with what\u2019s catching her attention, keeping people interested and, quite frankly, driving her mad.<\/p>\n
ONLY OWNS ONE pillow.<\/p>\n
Wears those little socks that peep out of their shoes or runners.<\/p>\n
Claims they \u2018don\u2019t believe\u2019 in therapy.<\/p>\n
Refers to their pets as their children, or even worse, their \u2018fur babies\u2019.<\/p>\n
In the five or six years since the \u2018red flag\u2019 trend kicked off on social media, there is no end to the behaviours, ideas and personality quirks that may signal problematic traits in potential partners or friends.<\/p>\n
They range from the sensible (claims all their exes were \u2018crazy\u2019) to the ridiculous (has a name that starts with J) and even inspired a trend of self-reflection where people identified their own red and green flags.<\/p>\n
One of my red flags, for instance, is knowing all the words to Billy Joel\u2019s We Didn\u2019t Start the Fire and whipping it out as a party piece without much provocation. To balance it out, my green flag is loving pigeons, our deeply misunderstood postmen of the sky.<\/p>\n
When it comes to identifying red flags in people, I have some general non-negotiables.<\/p>\n
If you don\u2019t wave or talk to a baby who waves or talks to you, that\u2019s a red flag.<\/p>\n
If you use your phone in the cinema, red flag.<\/p>\n
A fan of Ricky Gervais standup? Red flag.<\/p>\n
Getting down to specifics there\u2019s one item that, if it was revealed a person owned or found amusing, would send me running for the hills: A \u2018comedy\u2019 balaclava headrest cover.<\/p>\n
There is nothing more immediately toe-curling, boner shrinking, alarm tripping than seeing one of these ghoulish items looming towards you in traffic or out of the passenger window of a van parked on the road.<\/p>\n
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\n Amazon<\/p>\n
Amazon\n<\/p>\n
The decision to purchase and apply a headrest balaclava is a baffling one.<\/p>\n
On the more harmless end of the rationale is the scarecrow argument: the mask might act as a theft deterrent, and a potential robber might get such a fright that they hare off into the darkness empty-handed or maybe assume that the owner of the vehicle is such a \u2018mad yoke\u2019 that they wouldn\u2019t dare mess with their belongings.<\/p>\n
Personally, I\u2019d rather have the car stolen and indeed burnt out to hide any evidence that I was a balaclava headrest fan.<\/p>\n
There are suggestions online that point to an attempt to trick traffic cameras in places with carpool lanes or as a means to contest a speeding ticket. There is no solid evidence that it has ever worked.<\/p>\n
In Ireland, for instance, in order to challenge a speeding allegation by claiming someone else was driving you need to nominate and name that other driver: \u2018I\u2019m innocent, judge. DJ Prova\u00ed from Kneecap was driving my Ford Focus that day\u2019.<\/p>\n
There is, of course, an argument that the success and popularity of Belfast hip-hop trio Kneecap and their somewhat tongue-in-cheek adoption of the balaclava as a brand identifier, both as a nod to headgear worn by paramilitaries and by Kneecap member DJ Prova\u00ed to disguise his identity as a teacher.<\/p>\n
Kneecap sell tricolour balaclavas at their gigs and it is common for their younger fans to wear them, sweating like an Irishman in a raincoat.<\/p>\n
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No matter the reason for these phantom passengers, they all carry sinister undertones.<\/p>\n
The instinct to startle and frighten strangers is a red flag and the pipeline from \u2018get over yourself I\u2019m just having a laugh\u2019 to violence and rape culture is a slippery one.<\/p>\n
On the other hand, the only potential useful application of these covers might be to add a layer of safety to someone who drives alone a lot and wants to give the impression that they have company. If that was the case though, a nice, benign face mask would make more sense than the Scream killer or the deeply cringy Anonymous\/V for Vendetta versions (yes, I\u2019ve seen both with my own eyes).<\/p>\n
So, let\u2019s leave the headrest covers on Temu or Amazon or wherever they fester and focus more on green flags, like:<\/p>\n
Brings the shopping trolley back even if they haven\u2019t had to put a euro in it.
\nWatches the Winter Olympics.
\nHas a favourite bird\/soup\/nut.<\/p>\n
Interesting clicks of the week<\/p>\n
This interview<\/a> with Jamir Nazir,\u00a0a writer from Trinidad who won the Commonwealth Prize but was then accused of using AI to write his story.<\/p>\n This honest and hilarious<\/a> ACOTAR book review by Irish Substacker Karyn Moynihan<\/p>\n
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