{"id":567199,"date":"2026-07-25T06:59:20","date_gmt":"2026-07-25T06:59:20","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/567199\/"},"modified":"2026-07-25T06:59:20","modified_gmt":"2026-07-25T06:59:20","slug":"teenage-boys-in-ireland-youre-in-a-vulnerable-position-youre-young-and-youre-alone-the-irish-times","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/567199\/","title":{"rendered":"Teenage boys in Ireland: \u2018You\u2019re in a vulnerable position. You\u2019re young and you\u2019re alone\u2019 \u2013 The Irish Times"},"content":{"rendered":"

It is an otherwise average day in a secondary school<\/a> in Tallaght<\/a>, Dublin and a 14-year-old boy is cowering in the bathroom stalls as a group of three boys stand outside taunting<\/a> him. <\/p>\n

They claw at the door of his stall trying to open it, and tell him they will rip the mushroom-shaped earrings out of his ears when he comes out.<\/p>\n

Richard McKeever-Burke, who is now 18 and has since identified as nonbinary, recalls that it was a \u201cscary, claustrophobic\u201d experience waiting for the boys to leave.<\/p>\n

However, Richard doesn\u2019t blame those boys now. \u201cThey were kids. They thought they were different to me, and that meant something was wrong when it wasn \u2019t. <\/p>\n

\"RichardRichard McKeever-Burke (18): ‘The idea of manhood that was instilled in me was don\u2019t talk about your feelings, be the brave man.’ Photograph: Dara Mac D\u00f3naill <\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t hold them to it because I think it\u2019s based on their surroundings, who they had growing up, their parental figures, and their points of view are very much put on to them,\u201d Richard says. <\/p>\n

While time has given Richard the luxury of perspective and forgiveness, these casual acts of cruelty among teenage boys are something that come up quite frequently in the ones we spoke to. <\/p>\n

Routine name-calling, squaring up physically and threats of violence, however vacuous, are reported by most of the teenage boys we speak to. Nothing new there, you might think \u2013 except now, they cannot escape it.<\/p>\n

When they come home from school the bullying continues in the social media worlds of their phones. On top of that, they are pushed a particularly toxic version of masculinity by the pervasive manosphere influencers whom they do not necessarily seek out. <\/p>\n

[\u00a0Where is Ireland\u2019s manosphere?Opens in new window<\/a>\u00a0]<\/p>\n

In the midst of all this turmoil, there is one common denominator: they tell no one about how they feel, what happens in the school corridors, their confusion over what some social media influencers are telling them and their perception of what it means to be a man. <\/p>\n

The experience of being a teenage boy in Ireland appears to be a particularly lonely one.<\/p>\n

Loneliness\/isolation\"JamieJamie White (18): ‘Most of the time I just kind of deal with it myself.’ Photograph: Joe O’Shaughnessy <\/p>\n

Jamie White (18), from Corofin in Co Galway, has just finished fifth year at a coeducational school in Tuam and is working in construction for the summer. <\/p>\n

He says he gets \u201cpicked on a lot\u201d by other boys because he has more friends who are girls than boys. <\/p>\n

\u201cI have got called gay lots of times\u201d because of this, he says, by \u201ceveryone\u201d. <\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t really care because deep down I know what I am. I\u2019m straight male.\u201d <\/p>\n

Does he talk to anyone about this so-called \u201cslagging\u201d, which appears to happen frequently?<\/p>\n

\u201cMost of the time I just kind of deal with it myself. I don\u2019t like to be bothering people with my mental health issues. I would feel like I\u2019m just annoying them, or just like bothering them sometimes,\u201d Jamie says.<\/p>\n

This propensity to protect other people from his own suffering is exemplified over the course of our interview when he only reveals, 40 minutes into the conversation, that his father died following a workplace accident just over two years ago when Jamie was 15.<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t make a big deal of it. It\u2019s kind of just a part of me at this point,\u201d he says, before acknowledging the huge impact of this trauma on him: \u201cI\u2019m such a different person than I was those two years ago.\u201d<\/p>\n

Nathanael Wei Cassidy, a 16-year-old from Ballymitty in Co Wexford, says boys \u201cdefinitely talk less about how they feel than girls do\u201d.<\/p>\n

\u201cI have friends who are girls, and I remember telling them, \u2018No, we don\u2019t talk about our feelings,\u2019 and they were all very shocked, saying we must be very lonely.\u201d<\/p>\n

When boys see things on their phones that might be confusing, such as influencers spouting certain world views, they do not talk among themselves about the merits of those opinions, he says.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s not that boys don\u2019t ever talk, it\u2019s just that they don\u2019t talk as much [as girls]. They certainly don\u2019t talk about those things like what they watch. They don\u2019t really question it with other people. They question it with themselves, but not with other people.\u201d<\/p>\n

It is in this vacuum of debate and discussion that boys are often targeted with toxic ideas around masculinity, sexuality and the different expectations they should have of men and women. <\/p>\n

Over the course of these interviews, three out of four boys bring up Andrew Tate without being directly asked about him. <\/p>\n

Tate is a British-American influencer and self-proclaimed misogynist who targets young men and boys with his sexist ideologies on social media platforms. This week Tate and his brother Tristan were arrested<\/a> in the US in connection with a British police investigation into a number of alleged sexual offences.<\/p>\n

The pervasiveness of his content is apparent in the stories these teenagers tell.<\/p>\n

Social media\"NathanaelNathanael Wei Cassidy (16): ‘I remember [Andrew Tate] had a certain charisma, and I could see why people would fall for it.’ Photograph: Alan Betson <\/p>\n

Nathanael first got a TikTok account in sixth class of primary school. It started with a lot of \u201charmless stuff\u201d coming up on his feed, such as videos on history and music. But there was also \u201cthe odd Andrew Tate video\u201d, which increased in frequency as he got older. <\/p>\n

While he believes many other boys he knew would have been presented with Tate\u2019s content at the same time as him, none of them spoke about it to each other.<\/p>\n

\u201cA lot of it was him talking about how things should be, like how the man should work and the woman should stay at home and cook or whatever, and I didn\u2019t agree with that. But I remember he had a certain charisma, and I could see why people would fall for it,\u201d he says.<\/p>\n

\u201cI wasn\u2019t influenced by him, but I feel like I was close. I could have been, very easily.\u201d <\/p>\n

He recounts a period when he was a young teenager and struggled to get his head around the idea of men being gay, and for a time believing it was wrong. <\/p>\n

\u201cI began consuming that kind of media, a lot of the right-wing media saying [homosexuality] was wrong, and I also have a religious background, so I thought was it wrong then to be [gay],\u201d he remembers. He also admits to feeling \u201cconfused\u201d about it at the time, and receiving \u201cmixed messages\u201d about it. \u201cIt was a very unhappy, very confusing time,\u201d he says.<\/p>\n

[\u00a0Teenage boys \u2018bombarded\u2019 with misogynist content within minutes of signing up to TikTok and YouTube ShortsOpens in new window<\/a>\u00a0]<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re in a vulnerable position. You\u2019re young and you\u2019re alone. I feel like that\u2019s where people start to get hateful ideas.\u201d<\/p>\n

Now he can see his negative thoughts about gay people were \u201cdistorted and one-sided\u201d. This became apparent when he went to a bigger secondary school, and later made friends with people who were gay, bisexual and transgender.<\/p>\n

\u201cI think if I consumed more Andrew Tate media or more of that manosphere right-wing stuff, I could have been a very different person,\u201d he says.<\/p>\n

\"JacobJacob O\u2019Keefe (13): ‘[Some friends] began to act tougher around different people, and they were just more mean.’ Photograph: Dara Mac D\u00f3naill <\/p>\n

In an effort to keep him away from social media, Jacob O\u2019Keeffe\u2019s parents have promised him a sum of money on his 17th birthday if he stays off it until then.<\/p>\n

The 13-year-old, who has just finished first year in secondary school in Corduff, west Dublin, is quite happy with that deal \u2013 for now, at least.<\/p>\n

\u201cThere\u2019s nothing special about social media, in my opinion. You don\u2019t need it. If you want to have it, and you\u2019re allowed to have it, then go ahead and have it. But there\u2019s no need to have it,\u201d he says.<\/p>\n

He has a group chat with his friends on WhatsApp, and he is allowed to watch YouTube and play Fifa on PlayStation with his friends online.<\/p>\n

\u2018He\u2019s not changing who he is. He\u2019s not being a negative person just to please other people, and that makes me very proud\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2014 \u00a0Linda, Jacob’s mother<\/p>\n

Most of his peers use Snapchat and TikTok, and he has noticed they use \u201cmore slang words\u201d which he doesn\u2019t understand. <\/p>\n

Other than that, he doesn\u2019t see any difference between their lives and his, and thinks it \u201chasn\u2019t really changed them\u201d. <\/p>\n

Many of Jacob\u2019s closest friends live in the same estate as him, and they meet up regularly after school and over the holidays. Some of his friendships have changed over the past couple of years, when he noticed a difference in how some of his friends behaved. <\/p>\n

\u201cThey began to act tougher around different people, and they were just more mean,\u201d Jacob says. <\/p>\n

He thinks some older groups of teenage boys influence some of the younger boys into behaving this way. He calls them \u201cyup bros\u201d.<\/p>\n

\u201cThey usually wear tracksuits, and they have a buzz-cut haircut. They all have them e-scooters and e-bikes,\u201d Jacob says.<\/p>\n

[\u00a0E-scooters: The proposed ban, the penalties, the mandatory equipment explainedOpens in new window<\/a>\u00a0]<\/p>\n

The huge prevalence of e-scooters and e-bikes among children in Jacob\u2019s area led his school to email all parents saying they were banned from the school grounds. <\/p>\n

Jacob\u2019s mother, Linda, says she is very proud of him for \u201cremoving himself away from people that are making these wrong choices\u201d and she feels \u201cvery lucky\u201d.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s not changing who he is. He\u2019s not being a negative person just to please other people, and that makes me very proud,\u201d Linda says.<\/p>\n

Education\"JacobJacob O\u2019Keefe: ‘There\u2019s nothing special about social media.’ Photograph: Dara Mac D\u00f3naill <\/p>\n

While navigating friendships and social hierarchies was an issue for some of these teenagers, others struggled with the academic demands of school.<\/p>\n

For Jacob, he was nervous about going into secondary school because he feared the work would be much harder, the exams more onerous and the subjects too vast.<\/p>\n

\u201cI hate exams because I don\u2019t like studying. I feel like studying\u2019s boring, but I have to do it, and then if I don\u2019t I\u2019ll do badly in exams, then I\u2019ll be worrying about the exams over the summer or the winter,\u201d he says.<\/p>\n

In Jamie\u2019s case, his dyslexia \u201cmade the experience of school definitely a little bit worse\u201d because \u201cmy reading and writing is very difficult,\u201d he says.<\/p>\n

[\u00a0Netflix hit Adolescence gets a lot wrong about the reality of boys\u2019 strugglesOpens in new window<\/a>\u00a0]<\/p>\n

While he got a dispensation from Irish, and could use a laptop in his Junior Cycle exams, the focus on written exams in the curriculum did not suit him and led to some frustration.<\/p>\n

\u201cI think school is meant for a certain group of people, the people that can actually sit and do writing-down work, like taking stuff off the board and into their brains. I\u2019m definitely not one of those people. I learn by doing. One of my favourite subjects would be woodwork. I\u2019m good at that because it\u2019s a hands-on subject. You make things. You can see the physical project of it,\u201d Jamie says. <\/p>\n

Masculinity\"JamieJamie White: ‘I feel like there\u2019s a bit of responsibility that I should be there for my mother.’ Photograph: Joe O’Shaughnessy <\/p>\n

When asked what attributes they associated with being a man, these teenagers use similar descriptors, words and phrases: brave, strong, tough, don\u2019t ask for help, don\u2019t share your feelings, provide for your family.<\/p>\n

For Jamie, that urge to be financially self-sufficient became much stronger after his father died.<\/p>\n

\u201cI feel like there\u2019s a bit of responsibility that I should be there for my mother. That I have to take care of her. I wanted to get a job and earn money so I wasn\u2019t taking [money] from her,\u201d Jamie says. <\/p>\n

For Jacob, being a man means \u201chaving a job and paying bills,\u201d though he admits he\u2019s still \u201cfiguring it out\u201d.<\/p>\n

When he looks to his father, Kevin, he admires \u201chow mature he is. He\u2019s very wise\u201d.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s a nice fellah,\u201d Jacob says.<\/p>\n

Meanwhile the classic markers of masculinity never resonated with Richard, who grew up largely around women.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe idea of manhood that was instilled in me was, like, don\u2019t talk about your feelings, be the brave man … but being a masculine person never really fit with me,\u201d Richard says.<\/p>\n

It wasn\u2019t until transition year in school that Richard began to put a name to this feeling, and \u201ckind of realised that I wasn\u2019t uncomfortable with being a guy, but I was more comfortable having the freedom of expression to be on both sides\u201d.<\/p>\n

\u201cI learned what the term nonbinary meant, and really liked the idea of not having to force myself to be one or the other, and just being able to be who I want to be.\u201d<\/p>\n

Consent\/relationships\"NathanaelNathanael Wei Cassidy: ‘Now that everyone has a phone, the bullying never stops.’ Photograph: Alan Betson <\/p>\n

When it comes to consent, all of them give an answer along similar lines.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s mutual and it\u2019s clear, and it can be withdrawn at any time, and when it\u2019s withdrawn, it doesn\u2019t matter if they said yes before,\u201d Nathanael says.<\/p>\n

\u201cMake sure they\u2019re comfortable with it. Don\u2019t peer pressure them into doing anything they don\u2019t want to do,\u201d Jamie says.<\/p>\n

\u201cConsent is active, specifically verbal,\u201d Richard says.<\/p>\n

But do they think all of the other boys in their lives have a good understanding of consent?<\/p>\n

\u201cI hope so,\u201d Richard says. \u201cI think, unfortunately, it could be that case of believing that implied consent is consent. That is an unfortunately common enough perception, and that is changing, but it\u2019s worrisome.\u201d<\/p>\n

Nathanael says that while boys might know what consent is, implementing it in their own lives is another thing. <\/p>\n

\u201cWhether that\u2019s in practice, then it would be a different question and a different answer. I hear stories from friends where that wouldn\u2019t be everyone\u2019s experience. It would be a select few, but there will definitely be stories of people getting assaulted, people doing things that they don\u2019t fully want to do,\u201d Nathanael says. <\/p>\n

Jamie echoes this experience, saying \u201cmost of them do [understand consent], yes. But there\u2019s a few that definitely don\u2019t\u201d.<\/p>\n

\u201cI think they ignore it, because, like, being ignorant of it, like they just don\u2019t care for some reason,\u201d he says. <\/p>\n

\u2018My dad didn\u2019t have social media when he was growing up, so if you were bullied at school, you could go home and it would be over\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2014 \u00a0Nathanael Wei Cassidy<\/p>\n

Over the course of these interviews it has been striking how lonely the experience of being a teenage boy today is. <\/p>\n

While we can say there is nothing new about boys bottling up their feelings, posturing as brave men or bullying on school corridors, there is certainly the added pressure of a world of misinformation and extreme ideologies on the phones in all of their pockets that did not exist for previous generations. <\/p>\n

Nathanael sums this up when asked if he thinks life is easier or harder for him than it would have been for his dad growing up as a teenager in Ireland.<\/p>\n

He admits his father may have had different struggles, such as being hit in school or a lack of healthcare or social support from the State, that Nathanael doesn\u2019t have to worry about. <\/p>\n

\u201cBut my dad didn\u2019t have social media when he was growing up, so if you were bullied at school, you could go home and it would be over. You could pack it away in a box, and not have to open the box again until the morning. <\/p>\n

\u201cBut now that everyone has a phone, the bullying never stops. The bullying is 24\/7 and even you could be in your bedroom and in your safe spot, and you could still be getting bullied. I think that\u2019s very difficult.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"It is an otherwise average day in a secondary school in Tallaght, Dublin and a 14-year-old boy is…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":567200,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[69114,3272,615,631,4500,61,60,410,43,58,13356,976,9270],"class_list":["post-567199","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-ireland","tag-andrew-tate","tag-bullying","tag-dublin","tag-for-you","tag-galway","tag-ie","tag-ireland","tag-mental-health","tag-news","tag-social-media","tag-tallaght","tag-weekendreview","tag-wexford"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/567199","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=567199"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/567199\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/567200"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=567199"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=567199"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=567199"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}