{"id":589658,"date":"2026-08-11T06:30:09","date_gmt":"2026-08-11T06:30:09","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/589658\/"},"modified":"2026-08-11T06:30:09","modified_gmt":"2026-08-11T06:30:09","slug":"moving-to-ireland-i-told-my-husband-we-had-made-a-terrible-mistake-the-irish-times","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/589658\/","title":{"rendered":"Moving to Ireland: \u2018I told my husband we had made a terrible mistake\u2019 \u2013 The Irish Times"},"content":{"rendered":"

After living in Ireland<\/a> for six months, Ijeoma Mbaneme, who moved here in 2023 from Nigeria<\/a>, told her husband they had made a terrible mistake and that she wanted to go back home. <\/p>\n

\u201cI was rebuilding from zero, leaving my professional identity and people who knew my work back home. I felt like I could do it but then my daughter started struggling and I just looked at it all and said why am I doing this? What is the point in all this?\u201d Mbaneme says. <\/p>\n

They had decided to move to Ireland to further her career in tech and for a better quality of life for their family. <\/p>\n

\u201cI actually miss everything about home but the leaders are corrupt and we don\u2019t have access to basic things. The support from the government is not there and the weight of corruption makes daily life harder than it should be.\u201d<\/p>\n

After graduating top of her year with a degree in engineering, Mbaneme had completed her mandatory national service and then got a job in a telecommunications firm. Despite having lucrative offers from oil and gas firms, Mbaneme chose to take a job in tech as she wanted to continue to practise what she studied in school.<\/p>\n

\u201cTech wasn\u2019t what it is now. Tech wasn\u2019t paying, I was on a very poor salary.\u201d<\/p>\n

Over the next few years, she married and had children and juggled motherhood with working in a very male-dominated field where she was often the only woman working in her department. <\/p>\n

Her career really took off as cloud services grew in the 2010s. She became a tech delivery expert and travelled around Africa installing services for different companies and organisations. <\/p>\n

Over time, she realised that if she wanted to take her career to the next level she would probably have to leave Nigeria. Though she did interviews for companies all over the world, her mother advised her to take up a job offer in Ireland. Aside from the country being a major hub for technology companies, her mother believed Ireland was a predominantly Catholic<\/a> country. <\/p>\n

\u201cI wanted my children to continue their Catholic education and knowing the island had this tradition deeply woven in its culture made it feel like a natural fit for me.\u201d<\/p>\n

The countries\u2019 shared history of colonialism was also a factor. <\/p>\n

\u201cI felt like the people are going to understand me because we\u2019ve been going through something similar.\u201d<\/p>\n

Additionally, she found that the route to permanent residency for someone, like her, coming in on a critical skills permit, was relatively straightforward compared to other countries. <\/p>\n

[\u00a0The Irish emigrant journey now: Graduate from college, spend 10 years abroad, move homeOpens in new window<\/a>\u00a0]<\/p>\n

However, her eldest daughter really struggled to adapt to life in Ireland. <\/p>\n

\u201cSettling in was hard because she was one of the very few black students in her school, and possibly one of the only in her class. Every Sunday evening she would cry and wail and tell me that she did not want to go to school … As a mother that was one of the hardest things to sit with.\u201d<\/p>\n

Mbaneme was in constant communication with the school authorities who were supportive and helpful.<\/p>\n

\u201cThey noticed what she was going through and went out of their way to make sure she felt included and happy.\u201d<\/p>\n

For a while her daughter decided to pour all her energy into her studies after deciding that she wanted to be a doctor. Then something clicked on the social front, and she began to make a few friends, mainly with people who have also emigrated to Ireland. <\/p>\n

Today her eldest daughter is deputy head girl of her school and was the first student from that school to earn a distinction in Irish. <\/p>\n

By contrast, Mbaneme\u2019s younger daughter found the transition relatively easy: \u201cAll her friends are white and she doesn\u2019t care.\u201d<\/p>\n

Her younger daughter has also taken up competitive Irish dancing, swimming and tennis. <\/p>\n

Adjusting to Irish weather has been a process. While she knew that Ireland was going to be a great deal colder than Nigeria and bought thermals and coats in preparation, Mbaneme was not prepared for the wind.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve never seen weather<\/a> so windy. Now what we do is look at the wind speed, we look at the weather app and if we are going out, we plan our day.\u201d<\/p>\n

Mbaneme and her husband have found community in Ireland through their church. While she admits that living in a predominantly white country as a black person is not always easy, she was determined to make friends with Irish people.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve lived with black people all my life and I wanted to take a different approach and mingle with locals.\u201d<\/p>\n

Their church community has different people regularly hosting different sessions during which they socialise and talk about their faith. <\/p>\n

\u201cI have families that I\u2019m now very close to because of our church community.\u201d<\/p>\n

[\u00a0Irishman in Canada: We no longer cross the river to shop in Michigan because of TrumpOpens in new window<\/a>\u00a0]<\/p>\n

With all members of her family happy and settled, Mbaneme has no desire to even consider moving abroad again for the next 10 to 15 years. <\/p>\n

\u201cThere are huge opportunities for me here. I love the work I do and I want to keep doing it at an even higher scale. Beyond career, I want to own my own house here.\u201d<\/p>\n

We would like to hear from people who have moved to Ireland in the past 10 years. To get involved, email newtotheparish@irishtimes.com<\/a> or send us two lines about yourself using the form below. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"After living in Ireland for six months, Ijeoma Mbaneme, who moved here in 2023 from Nigeria, told her…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":589659,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[72,61,60,37614,21913],"class_list":["post-589658","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-business","tag-business","tag-ie","tag-ireland","tag-new-to-the-parish","tag-nigeria"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/589658","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=589658"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/589658\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/589659"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=589658"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=589658"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=589658"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}