It might sound counterintuitive but he believes taking time for yourself and finding out who you are when you\u2019re alone combats loneliness. Whereas surrounding yourself with people all the time \u201cdoesn\u2019t get you out of that pit\u201d.<\/p>\n
Last year he joined the college drama society and that has greatly improved his enjoyment of student life. He has now found a group of people whom he finds uplifting, whether he is with them or alone.<\/p>\n
![\"Craig](\"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/7PYQBD3BY5BMBOH7VE5A6KPKBY.jpeg\")
Craig Doyle <\/p>\n
Sarah, a 21-year-old from Galway, who asks that her real name not be used, also worries about how saying \u201cI feel lonely\u201d would offend people she is close to. However, she wants to talk about the topic because \u201ceven though I have friends, I still feel lonely, which is interesting to me\u201d.<\/p>\n
She believes experiencing loneliness needs to be normalised as something a lot of people have to deal with.<\/p>\n
Her sense of loneliness increased after moving to Dublin for university but, even at secondary school, she never felt part of the group. \u201cEven though I was in a class full of people, I still felt lonely. I was friends with loads of different people from different groups, but I never was, like, part of the group, if that makes sense.\u201d<\/p>\n
[\u00a0\u2018I don\u2019t have a wall around me, I have an electric fence\u2019Opens in new window<\/a>\u00a0]<\/p>\n While she made friends on campus at UCD, most were from Dublin and tended to go off and socialise with schoolmates elsewhere. \u201cI think there\u2019s a lot of pressure on young people to be living their best life, and it\u2019s meant to be the most socially active years. That pressure definitely got to me. I always think I\u2019m not doing enough or I\u2019m not going out enough, or I\u2019m not meeting people enough.\u201d<\/p>\n She feels lonelier in a group. \u201cI feel like I don\u2019t fit in. I think I\u2019ve learned that loneliness and being alone are different. You can feel content while you\u2019re alone and then you can feel lonely when surrounded by others. I really do enjoy being alone, which makes no sense because I also struggle with loneliness.\u201d<\/p>\n [\u00a0Loneliness: There\u2019s a reason why we use the term \u2018power of connection\u2019Opens in new window<\/a>\u00a0]<\/p>\n Nights out are the worst, Sarah says, acknowledging that alcohol<\/a> may be a factor. \u201cI feel like no one in the world gets me. I catastrophise so much when I\u2019m in a group. I usually go home early because the feelings are so strong.\u201d<\/p>\n Social media is a significant contributor to her loneliness, even though rationally she knows how fake the lives depicted there are. Taking a break from it has helped in the past. \u201cI don\u2019t know why I haven\u2019t fully deleted it because I keep going back. It would be better if I just deactivated all my accounts.\u201d<\/p>\n She says she has social anxiety and finds it hard to start conversations. \u201cOnce I get to know someone, I\u2019m very talkative.\u201d<\/p>\n Volunteering with various organisations \u201cis definitely good for me\u201d, she says, enabling her to meet people and have shared experiences. \u201cIt makes me feel less alone.\u201d<\/p>\n Loneliness was not an issue for Bel Nabulele, now 19, until her secondary school in Dublin mixed up the class groups in transition year. She had been part of a core friendship circle of 10 since first year, of whom eight were put in one class and she and another girl went into two other classes.<\/p>\n \u201cI really was just sitting by myself in every class and at break I had no one to sit with.\u201d<\/p>\n Meanwhile, most of her friends were seeing each other all day and going out of school at lunch or arranging activities together. She felt the connection wither.<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s just hard when you\u2019re constantly being excluded, even if they\u2019re not trying to exclude you. It just got worse when I got into fifth year because we weren\u2019t friends any more. I would see pictures of them on social media, and they would be going out to the beach or going out to places in the summer, and again, I was not invited.\u201d<\/p>\n Her last years at school were \u201cawful\u201d, she says recalling how she wanted to drop out or study from home but her mother insisted she keep showing up.<\/p>\n About to start the second year of a law degree at UCD, Nabulele says her first year in the University of Galway was busy and she made college friends. But she now hopes to meet people with whom she could form deeper connections.<\/p>\n \u201cI really don\u2019t know how to carry a conversation,\u201d she says several times, and without that \u201cthere\u2019s just no way to make friends\u201d. But learning to change how she views herself is helping. Years of sitting alone had made her feel there was something wrong with her. <\/p>\n She asks any extroverts reading this piece to invite the quiet and maybe lonely person like her into a conversation, \u201cbecause we really don\u2019t talk at all\u201d.<\/p>\n![\"Bel](\"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/ZWZ7JBOONJDVFJE7YEQ6W33BEI.jpg\")
Bel Nabulele <\/p>\n![\"Charlie](\"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/OUBPQWSAHBFWHBD4CBRF2VGE74.jpg\")
Charlie Beaudelot <\/p>\n