\u201cI spent the first two weeks in treatment just crying, shameful, just absolutely hating myself for how much I felt I let my kids down.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u2018I\u2019m feeling upset because my children are not with me… I have to be strong, I\u2019m trying my best\u2019<\/p>\n
\u2014 \u00a0Marianna*, who is focused on staying sober so her children can live with her again<\/p>\n
Anna says she had become reliant on alcohol during a physically abusive relationship that lasted from her teens into her early 20s. She left that man and stopped drinking. She then met a new partner, got married and had two sons. <\/p>\n
Life was good for a while, but then things started to unravel.<\/p>\n
\u201cI was seven months pregnant with my youngest, and my mother passed away from cancer… and then my marriage fell apart.\u201d<\/p>\n
Old habits started to creep back in. She was drinking again and, over time, she turned to cocaine. She was able to hide her addiction from most people for a long time – until that morning when she narrowly avoided driving into the tree. <\/p>\n
It was not an easy path, but Anna hopes to be three years sober in November. Her sons are living with her full-time again.<\/p>\n
Anna is one of a growing number of women seeking help for drug or alcohol addiction in recent years<\/a>. <\/p>\n Now in her early 40s, she is sharing her story because she would like mothers, in particular, to know they can recover from addiction. She also says she wants other people \u201cnot to judge\u201d mothers who are struggling, noting that many of them are dealing with mental health issues or domestic violence.<\/p>\n \u201cMental health is definitely involved in addiction. I feel nine times out of 10, it\u2019s combined. [Addiction] could happen to anyone… there\u2019s so much more to it than what you see on the surface.\u201d<\/p>\n Valerie* knows this all too well. For her, taking drugs was a way of \u201cchasing false feelings\u201d and \u201cescaping what\u2019s going on in the mind\u201d.<\/p>\n \u201cI was in an active addiction from a very young age, abusing drink and drugs – cocaine, tablets, stuff like that,\u201d she says. \u201cI got caught up in the wrong crowd in the area, and I started selling drugs.\u201d<\/p>\n Valerie, a mother-of-one, was eventually \u201cup on a big charge\u201d and knew \u201cI can\u2019t live like this any more\u201d.<\/p>\n One by one, she eliminated the substances she was taking. The process was difficult, but Valerie says she persevered because \u201cmy child deserves a better version of me\u201d. <\/p>\n Now aged in her 30s, she attends regular counselling and, through Chrysalis, has completed courses on personal development and addiction studies. <\/p>\n She describes her recovery as \u201clike knocking a wall down, literally brick by brick; I was stopping one thing and then I was stopping another.<\/p>\n \u201cI am three years, four months now without any tablets or drink or cocaine or anything like that… I\u2019m a new person.\u201d<\/p>\n Many mothers who experience addiction delay seeking help because they fear their children will be taken into care, according to those working in the services. Even if the woman in question is actively addicted, the responsibility of child-rearing most often falls on her shoulders.<\/p>\n \u201cWhen male drug users go into addiction, nothing is expected from them from some point on. Their social expectation stops, their family stops depending on them,\u201d says Christina Petropoulou, a case manager at Chrysalis.<\/p>\n \u201cIt doesn\u2019t happen with women. I think women are supposed to keep everything in place… We should be able to go to work. If you\u2019re addicted, keep your addiction at bay. Keep your motherhood, keep the family together. Do everything. And it\u2019s not the same for a man who faces addiction.\u201d<\/p>\n Amanda Smyth, senior case manager at Chrysalis, says society typically holds women to a higher standard. <\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s on our shoulders to take the brunt of everything like that, never mind a woman in active addiction… We\u2019re supposed to be the strong one.\u201d<\/p>\n Smyth says many mothers are scared to tell their wider family they are addicts, fearing judgment. However, in many cases, relatives step in to look after children while the mother seeks help. <\/p>\n Marianna*, a Polish woman who has been living in Ireland for more than a decade, is in treatment for alcohol addiction. Her two children are living with her sister while she gets her life back on track. <\/p>\n Marianna, aged in her 30s, says she has not heard from the father of her children for more than a year. During their relationship, he was regularly violent. After a particularly bad incident last year, she left him. <\/p>\n \u201cHe beat me too much, so I decided to never see him again,\u201d she says. <\/p>\n \u2018There\u2019s so many women that, when they meet each other, they realise, \u201cOh my god, you\u2019ve been going through what I\u2019ve been going through\u201d.\u2019<\/p>\n \u2014 \u00a0Anna* on finding a ‘sisterhood’<\/p>\n Marianna says she self-medicated with alcohol to numb the physical and emotional toll of the violence she endured. She is now focused on staying sober so her children, who she sees regularly, can live with her again.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m feeling upset because my children are not with me… I have to be strong, I\u2019m trying my best.\u201d<\/p>\n She says that, for a long time, she was too scared to leave her former partner. She wants other women to leave problematic relationships sooner, if they can.<\/p>\n \u201cPeople can help you… it\u2019s nothing to be ashamed of.\u201d<\/p>\n Many women stay with violent partners because they can\u2019t see a way out, Smyth says. They might threaten women or their children, or a woman might not have access to her own money.<\/p>\n Mothers in active addiction often feel immense shame and guilt about their circumstances, Smyth adds.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m not saying men don\u2019t carry that shame \u2013 of course they do \u2013 but for women, it digs deeper.\u201d<\/p>\n Instead of judging mothers who are struggling with addiction, people \u201cneed to educate themselves\u201d, she says. In many cases, society has failed them.<\/p>\n \u201cYou need to be able to take a step back and go, \u2018What happened to her that led her to live this life?\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n Petropoulou agrees, saying: \u201cPeople do what they need to survive, and they most likely have survived things you cannot even imagine.\u201d<\/p>\n In 2025, more than 650 people sought help from Chrysalis. Cocaine \u2013 both crack and powder \u2013 was by far the main \u201cproblem substance\u201d listed by service users. The second most common issue was use of benzodiazepines (medications with a sedative effect which are often prescribed for anxiety or insomnia), followed by alcohol.<\/p>\n![\"Christina](\"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/NHQ4Z4N7NRAZNLEN62UGYDSMKU.jpg\")
Christina Petropoulou, a case manager at the Chrysalis Community Drug Project in Dublin. Photograph: Enda O’Dowd <\/p>\n![\"Amanda](\"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/X7N6KGB3ONH4PLOM6SYT5QCA4A.jpg\")
Amanda Smyth, senior case manager at Chrysalis. Photograph: Enda O’Dowd <\/p>\n![\"For](\"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/H4WLVIVOCFGBXLO7MSVHFQMRHE.JPG\")
For Anna*, each setback brought her one step closer to recovery. ‘Help is absolutely there, you just have to look for it,’ she says. Photograph: Bryan O\u2019Brien\/The Irish Times <\/p>\n