{"id":616261,"date":"2026-09-06T12:30:21","date_gmt":"2026-09-06T12:30:21","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/616261\/"},"modified":"2026-09-06T12:30:21","modified_gmt":"2026-09-06T12:30:21","slug":"orla-freeman-hospice-care-gave-me-the-headspace-to-be-there-for-shane-as-his-wife","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/616261\/","title":{"rendered":"Orla Freeman: Hospice care gave me the headspace to be there for Shane as his wife"},"content":{"rendered":"

My husband Shane lived so well with cancer for six years. He had chemo every two weeks; he\u2019d have bad days, but they\u2019d come to an end. There\u2019d be good days too; there was nothing he couldn\u2019t do on those days.<\/p>\n

He never felt he was battling cancer; he said he was living with it and he called cancer his travelling companion, until the beginning of the last six months of his life \u2014 April 2025. He started experiencing very severe pain. Between April and June we had to cancel family occasions and a holiday. Shane was spending more time in bed, something he hadn\u2019t done before.<\/p>\n

For the first time he felt cancer was winning because he wasn\u2019t in control \u2014 there was no pattern to the pain. The community palliative care team visited from April. They could see he was in more pain than he was letting on. He was a very resilient man; he had wonderful grit and he didn\u2019t give in easily. They could see he had a lot more living to do and his frustration at being unable to enjoy quality time with me and our three boys.<\/p>\n

\"OrlaOrla Freeman: ‘On September 2, Shane passed away. During those months in hospice, I got to be his wife. With the responsibility of all the medical care taken from me, I got to give him the emotional medicine.’<\/p>\n

Hospice was recommended as the best place for symptom and pain management. Hearing hospice, many of us assume it\u2019s the end; we\u2019re going there to die \u2014 Shane was no different. He felt defeated, like everybody\u2019d given up, but once settled into Mayo Hospice in Castlebar in June, he saw how much everybody \u2014 consultants, nurses, social workers \u2014 wanted to see him living: get out of bed when he could, go out on day trips, go home for a night or two.<\/p>\n

He realised how much the hospice was there, not to keep him alive, but to keep him living. He was very determined he\u2019d come back to Kiltimagh for Coillte Come Home Festival in July. Everyone in Kiltimagh comes out for it; everyone returns home, it\u2019s a wonderful week. And he was able to \u2014 and to stay at home for a whole weekend.<\/p>\n

It meant everything to him. He got to see everyone for the last time; all his old friends came out. There\u2019s a big endurance race \u2014 42km between cycling and running. Shane had participated over the years; in later years he volunteered at it. He was determined to get to each stage, to see everybody start and to sit on the wall at the finish line and see everyone go past him.<\/p>\n

At the different stages, he\u2019d cheer them on: \u201cYou\u2019re doing great!\u201d Afterwards, people said seeing him gave them the drive to finish the race. People had heard he was in hospice; their preconception was he must be really ill, but when they saw him out and about living as his usual positive, joyful self, they were so happy \u2014 and he was too, to be in town with our family of five, enjoying this amazing day.<\/p>\n

If you were ever to say goodbye to your town, to your people, you couldn\u2019t have picked a better day.<\/p>\n

\"OrlaOrla Freeman: ‘Shane never felt he was battling cancer; he said he was living with it and he called cancer his travelling companion, until the beginning of the last six months of his life \u2013 April 2025.’<\/p>\n

And if it weren\u2019t for hospice, he wouldn\u2019t have been able to have that day. I didn\u2019t feel nervous about his coming out of hospice then, and the different times he did, because the care he was receiving was the best of the best. He and I were always on the same page, and Shane was sensible\u00a0\u2014 he knew his limits but also grabbed every opportunity he could. I never wanted to dampen that with any negativity.<\/p>\n

I wanted him to be at peace with everything he was doing. He wanted to keep going as much as he could. It was all the time he was ever going to get again.<\/p>\n

Hospice allowed me to stay 24\/7 with him. Those moments I had with him were beautiful; the conversations we were able to have \u2014 reminiscing about the 23 years we\u2019d had together, talking about the future we wouldn\u2019t get together but that he\u2019d still be part of because of our children.\u00a0<\/p>\n

He didn\u2019t leave it all to me to break the devastating news to our boys. He was so brave, so honest, very open with them. He spoke so warmly to them about his 50 wonderful years: he had no regrets and was grateful for everyone in his life. The words he gave them, they\u2019re long-lasting \u2014 they\u2019ll forever be with them.<\/p>\n

Hospice guided us as to when we should say certain things. Neither the boys nor I have any regrets. There was nothing left unsaid. He came home the evening before and the night of our wedding anniversary, July 25. I got to wake up with him on our anniversary.<\/p>\n

On September 2, Shane passed away. During those months in hospice, I got to be his wife. With the responsibility of all the medical care taken from me, I got to give him the emotional medicine. I had the time to talk to him, soothe him, bring him back to his peace.<\/p>\n

All he cared about was that we\u2019d be ok. He needed to see me calm, that I could manage.<\/p>\n

When that medical responsibility was taken away, I was calm and patient. I had the headspace, the heart space to be all his.<\/p>\n

Palliative Care Week 2026 will run from September 6 to 12 and is dedicated to raising public awareness and increasing understanding of palliative care and its benefits. This year\u2019s theme is \u2018It\u2019s Not What You Think.\u2019 Visit www.hospice.ie<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"My husband Shane lived so well with cancer for six years. He had chemo every two weeks; he\u2019d…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":616262,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[34],"tags":[61997,103,397,396,61,60],"class_list":["post-616261","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-healthcare","tag-what-a-difference-a-day-makes","tag-health","tag-health-care","tag-healthcare","tag-ie","tag-ireland"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/616261","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=616261"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/616261\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/616262"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=616261"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=616261"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=616261"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}