It\u2019s every parent\u2019s worst nightmare.<\/p>\n
Sorcha goes, \u201cYou\u2019re being ridiculous, Ross.\u201d<\/p>\n
I\u2019m there, \u201cOh, I\u2019m being ridiculous, am I? My son gives up rugby to play the port of Sam Cormichael in Mamma Mia! and I\u2019m the one being ridiculous!\u201d<\/p>\n
She goes, \u201cLet\u2019s just hear what Mr Brady has to say.\u201d<\/p>\n
Yeah, no, we\u2019re on the way to the school. I\u2019m so mad, I end up driving through about three orange lights. The Amber Gambler, that\u2019s me.<\/p>\n
I\u2019m there, \u201cThere\u2019s nothing Mr so-called Brady could say that would make this any better. The reason we sent the boys to Castlerock was because it\u2019s a rugby school. What am I going to say the next time, I don\u2019t know, Jamie Heaslip or Rob Kearney ask me how the boys are getting on at rugby? Do I go, \u2018Not great \u2013 but you\u2019d want to hear Brian singing Thank You for the Music.\u2019 They wouldn\u2019t be able to face me again.\u201d<\/p>\n
She goes, \u201cIt comes from my side of the family, of course.\u2019<\/p>\n
I\u2019m there, \u201cWhat does?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThe singing! My mom was in the choir in Foxrock, remember?\u201d<\/p>\n
Her old dear sounds like a fox with its head trapped in a gate. I don\u2019t say that, though. Too nice for my own good. That\u2019s how we\u2019ve ended up in this position.<\/p>\n
I\u2019m like, \u201cI\u2019ve a good mind to sue the school.\u201d<\/p>\n
She goes, \u201cOh, you\u2019re going to threaten them with one of Hennessy\u2019s letters, are you?\u201d<\/p>\n
I\u2019m there, \u201cMamma focking Mia! I\u2019m seething here.\u201d<\/p>\n
We eventually arrive at the school. I throw the cor into one of the teacher\u2019s porking spaces and we make our way inside. This \u2013 yeah, no \u2013 Mr Brady dude is waiting for us in reception. Sorcha shakes his hand and \u2013 I\u2019m not making this up \u2013 literally curtsies to him. I\u2019m not so easily won over. When he offers me his hand, I just leave him hanging.<\/p>\n
I\u2019m there, \u201cCan we get this over with? Why are we even here?\u201d<\/p>\n
He goes, \u201cWell, like I said to your wife on the phone, Brian has an extraordinary singing voice. He\u2019s very, very talented. But\u2013\u201d<\/p>\n
I\u2019m there, \u201cBut rugby. Thanks for filling us in.\u201d<\/p>\n
He goes, \u201cHe wants to sing \u2013 but he feels that he isn\u2019t being supported at home.\u201d<\/p>\n
Sorcha\u2019s there, \u201cOh my God, he is supported,\u201d because she\u2019s such a crawler. That\u2019s the head girl in her. \u201cMy mom was in the choir in Foxrock Church.\u201d<\/p>\n
I\u2019m there, \u201cYour old dear sounds like a fox with its head caught in a focking gate. I wasn\u2019t going to say anything, Sorcha, but you forced my hand.\u201d<\/p>\n
Brian is standing next to the piano, looking \u2013 in fairness to him \u2013 shame-faced<\/p>\n
The dude goes, \u201cPerhaps if we could discuss your reasons for not wanting Brian to sing.\u201d<\/p>\n
I\u2019m there, \u201cWe sent our boys to this school because of its strong rugby tradition.\u201d<\/p>\n
He\u2019s like, \u201cWhat, one Leinster Schools Senior Cup in 150 years? Not much of a tradition, is it? And wasn\u2019t the result rescinded because of doping?\u201d<\/p>\n
He has the actual balls to say that to me, the man who lifted the famous soup tureen in what people still refer to as The Asterisk Year \u2013 whatever that even means. <\/p>\n
I\u2019m there, \u201cLike any normal parent, I dreamt of seeing my son play at the Aviva one day.\u201d<\/p>\n
He goes, \u201cWell, maybe you\u2019ll see him sing Ireland\u2019s Call at the Aviva instead.\u201d<\/p>\n
I\u2019m like, \u201cDude, can I get a glass of water?\u201d and I look behind me for a chair.<\/p>\n
He goes, \u201cLook, why don\u2019t you come with me? I want to show you something.\u201d<\/p>\n
So he leads us down the corridor \u2013 yeah, no \u2013 to this, like, brand-new music room. Or maybe it was there when I went here. I spent very little time inside the building \u2013 something I\u2019m proud of.<\/p>\n
Brian is standing next to the piano, looking \u2013 in fairness to him \u2013 shamefaced. <\/p>\n
I\u2019m there, \u201cDon\u2019t worry, Brian, I\u2019ve a mate who\u2019s coaching Gonzaga this year. We can see will they take you.\u201d<\/p>\n
But this Mr Brady, without saying a word, sits down at the piano, turns a few pages on the music stand and then storts playing \u2013 yeah, no \u2013 The Winner Takes it All. <\/p>\n
The intro seems to go on forever, but then I realise that Brian is staring straight at me and he\u2019s waiting for me to give him permission to sing.<\/p>\n
I\u2019m there, \u201cClongowes are taking kids as well.\u201d<\/p>\n
But Sorcha goes, \u201cIt\u2019s okay, Brian,\u201d in her cool mom voice. \u201cWe want to hear you sing.\u201d<\/p>\n
I\u2019m like, \u201cWhat\u2019s this we, Kemosabe?\u201d<\/p>\n
The kid has a talent. I\u2019m actually shaking here<\/p>\n
A second or two later, he opens his mouth and the words stort pouring out of it:<\/p>\n
I don\u2019t want to talk<\/p>\n
About things we\u2019ve gone through,<\/p>\n
Though it\u2019s hurting me<\/p>\n
Now it\u2019s history.<\/p>\n
I\u2019m going to lay my cords on the table here. The kid has an incredible voice \u2013 an actual tenor voice \u2013 and the hairs on the back of my neck are suddenly standing on end. <\/p>\n
\u201cOh my God,\u201d Sorcha whispers. \u201cOh my actual\u2013\u201d<\/p>\n
I\u2019ve played all my cards,<\/p>\n
And that is what you\u2019ve done too,<\/p>\n
Nothing more to say,<\/p>\n
No more ace to play. <\/p>\n
She goes, \u201cIt\u2019s in the genes. He gets it from my mom, Ross.\u201d<\/p>\n
I\u2019m like, \u201cYour old dear can\u2019t sing for shit, Sorcha. Face facts.\u201d <\/p>\n
The winner takes it all,<\/p>\n
The loser standing small.<\/p>\n
I can feel her grip my hand as Brian reaches for a higher note. <\/p>\n
Beside the victory,<\/p>\n
That\u2019s her destiny.<\/p>\n
He finishes and looks over at us, obviously wanting to know what we think.<\/p>\n
Sorcha goes, \u201cOh my God, Brian!\u201d and she\u2019s in actual tears. \u201cOh my literally\u2013!\u201d<\/p>\n
But Brian is fully focused on me. I\u2019m the one whose opinion matters. The kid has a talent. I\u2019m actually shaking here.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell?\u201d he goes. \u201cWhat did you think?\u201d<\/p>\n
And I\u2019m there, \u201cWhat did I think? I\u2019ve never been so embarrassed in my life. And coming from me, that\u2019s saying something.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"It\u2019s every parent\u2019s worst nightmare. Sorcha goes, \u201cYou\u2019re being ridiculous, Ross.\u201d I\u2019m there, \u201cOh, I\u2019m being ridiculous, am…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":650355,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[61,60,709,42327,80],"class_list":["post-650354","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-technology","tag-ie","tag-ireland","tag-magazine","tag-ross-o-carroll-kelly","tag-technology"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/650354","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=650354"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/650354\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/650355"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=650354"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=650354"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=650354"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}