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\n Emer McLysaght<\/p>\n
Author and journalist<\/p>\n
In Nobody Needs This, a series for The Journal, Emer McLysaght focuses her eagle eye on the trends, products and notions we can do without. It\u2019s not all giving out, however. She\u2019ll also be keeping up with what\u2019s catching her attention, keeping people interested and, quite frankly, driving her mad.\u00a0<\/p>\n
MY CAT PIP is afraid of the wind. I once saw a magpie pulling her tail. She recognises the words \u201cbreakfast\u201d, \u201cdinner\u201d and \u201csomething nice\u201d. She has a tiny electric blanket.
It\u2019s safe to say Pip is one of the most coddled animals that has ever existed.<\/p>\n
A friend recently acquired her first pet, a tiny kitten. Being a veteran of cat ownership (Pip is 13) I\u2019ve been offering some unsolicited advice. Get a scratching post asap, get it neutered asap, don\u2019t waste your money on a \u201ccat bed\u201d as cats will simply sleep wherever they want, introduce the kitten to those meaty cat Frubes at your peril as it will become dangerously obsessed with them and stand on your chest with the weight of a neutron star until you give it another two.<\/p>\n
I\u2019ve also dispensed my three most controversial pieces of advice, nuggets of wisdom that go against current cat ownership trends.<\/p>\n
Get a collar with a buckle and a bell.<\/p>\n
A tag with your phone number on it is worth 10 microchips.<\/p>\n
I grew up in the countryside. Our cats roamed freely and caught rats, mice, shrews, rabbits, birds and once, an enormous hare. My mother kept a strict worming regimen for both animals and children and the cats thrived (apart from a few road casualties and one unfortunate run in with a combine harvester). As a child, a hunting cat was normal to me. A cat that spent time both inside and outside was standard. Half a rabbit on the back step was a loving gesture from Cuddles.<\/p>\n
Outdoor or indoor cat?<\/p>\n
As an adult pet owner, I do not want Pip to be responsible for the death of anything (not even a rat). I also want Pip to go outside, to lie in the sun, to plan her revenge on the magpies, to glare at the squirrels as if they wouldn\u2019t rip her to shreds in two seconds flat.<\/p>\n
I will admit there are strong arguments against outdoor cats, and it\u2019s often a hot button topic online. They prey on local wildlife, they breed if not spayed or neutered leading to problematic feral populations, they\u2019re more prone to injury and death, they require more vet care and precautions. I\u2019ve turned all of these arguments over and over in my head, and yet I still believe a responsible owner can have an outdoor cat.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s all about the collar. And you have to start with a buckle. Most modern cat collars are equipped with a plastic clasp that pulls apart if the collar is snagged on anything, like a branch or fence, thus saving the animal from gruesome strangulation.<\/p>\n
Online cat crusaders will claim that anything else (i.e. a buckle) is animal cruelty and belongs in The Hague. I challenge these evangelists to find me a cat that can keep a breakaway collar on for more than a day. I tried several on Pip and if you looked at them sideways they were on the floor.<\/p>\n
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\n Alamy Stock Photo<\/p>\n
Alamy Stock Photo\n<\/p>\n
A 2025 survey found<\/a> that just 0.47% of 2000 respondents reported incidents with their cats\u2019 collars and none reported deaths. Okay, so the study was carried out for a company that manufactures GPS collars, but cat collar safety is not the number one concern of the scientific community, so the pickings are slim but not nil<\/a>. The results of the study do include advice to use a safety collar, either one that breaks away or is elasticated. I will opt for an elasticated, metal buckled collar every time because constant replacement of lost collars is not realistic, especially when you include the bells and whistles. Okay, just the bells.<\/p>\n Pip wears a hefty bell around her neck. It\u2019s about the size of a Maltesers and emits a jingle with the slightest movement. Even if she was brave enough to get close to a bird or a squirrel they\u2019d be alerted to her presence in plenty of time by the mortifying bell. I\u2019ve read hand-wringing posts online about bells potentially damaging cats\u2019 hearing or causing distress, and truly I think sometimes people are just looking for problems where there are none and maybe should consider a library membership or a lovely hobby outside the house.<\/p>\n Tracking that tabby<\/p>\n And then there\u2019s the microchip. Yes, I think they are important, and it\u2019s vital to keep your stored information updated. However, the likelihood of someone finding a lost cat, managing to catch it and then bringing it to a vet to be scanned is so much lower than the same situation with a dog.<\/p>\n A metal tag attached to the collar with your phone number engraved on it is the best hope you have at having a missing cat returned to you. You can also add details like \u201cPlease do not feed\u201d or \u201cPlease send me home\u201d if you have a pet that likes to house hop. I once had a cat turn up at my house with a tag that only had its name on it.<\/p>\n Unfortunately, Sparkles\u00a0could neither speak nor even seem to realise her name was Sparkles, so the tag was completely useless. She fled before I could take any further action and hopefully made it back to her family. My phone number and \u201cI\u2019m Pip and I\u2019m lost\u201d on Pip\u2019s collar has sent her home to me several times, although she\u2019s never gone far and even less so in her advancing years.<\/p>\n The bell means I can usually hear her before I see her so she gets away with nothing. I would add an AirTag but honestly I think she\u2019d lose it out of spite. It\u2019s a cat\u2019s world, we just live in it.<\/p>\n Watching with interest<\/p>\n Bradley Walsh will host a new quiz show on Channel 4 at 9pm on Sunday called Million Pound Shot, and there\u2019s a very convincing TikTok<\/a> predicting that the whole thing may be a hoax.<\/p>\n Listening with joy<\/p>\n Caroline O\u2019Donoghue\u2019s podcast Sentimental Garbage<\/a> is finally back, and this time she\u2019s talking to people about \u201cthe stories that have been retold over and over again, the millennial nostalgia we\u2019re still obsessed with, tricky second albums, and the second comings of celebs who blew up their lives and were granted forgiveness\u201d.<\/p>\n First up is fellow author Sarah Maria Griffin and a spooky chat about Addams Family Values.<\/p>\n She\u2019s making a list<\/p>\n Every week between now and 25 December I\u2019m bringing you suggestions for decent gifts for everyone in your life. Check out last week\u2019s recommendations here<\/a>.<\/p>\n For the letter writer\/new home owner: A personalised return address stamp is the ideal gift for anyone who still loves snail mail. Irish company Heirloom Seals<\/a> has a gorgeous range.<\/p>\n For the music lover: Hitster tests musical knowledge by challenging players to place songs on a timeline based on when they think they were released. It connects to your music streaming account and the songs are played by scanning a QR code on the question card. I played it with a group of friends last weekend and it broke down into hysterical examinations of saxophone placement and production values.<\/p>\n For the person who has everything: Consider a charity gift like Concern\u2019s art therapy kit art therapy kit (\u20ac30)<\/a> for children in countries like Ukraine, or a mobile library (\u20ac60)<\/a>, beekeeping kit (\u20ac36)<\/a> or a solar water pump (\u20ac100).<\/p>\n Barnardos have Gifts for Good<\/a>, Oxfam have lots of options<\/a> including toilets, goats and education for girls, and Palestine Children\u2019s Relief Fund<\/a> is campaigning for donations as Christmas gifts.<\/p>\n