Being lazy is an art — and I’ve mastered it.

Don’t get me wrong. I always find the energy to complete my work tasks and eventually get around to my at-home duties (that laundry bag full of clean clothes does get emptied… after about two weeks). But after a long workweek, I’m rarely motivated to do the kinds of things that might actually improve me during the all-too-short weekend.

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So I decided it was time to call in reinforcements — specifically, my old chatbot buddy, ChatGPT.

Richard Simmons (RIP) always popped up on my television screen as the super energetic, cheerful, and inspirational fitness instructor that took the world by storm.

With this prompt, I got ChatGPT to become the man himself: “I don’t feel like going to the gym today. Act like the workout coach Richard Simmons. Your job is to help me stop procrastinating and take immediate action on my gym workout. Give me the reasons why I should accomplish my gym workout, and the negative effects of avoiding my gym workout.”

To my amazement, ChatGPT evoked the lovable personality of Simmons and greeted me with a warm and uplifting mission statement: “First of all: you’re not lazy. You’re human. Some days the couch feels like your best friend. But let me tell you something important…Your body deserves to be celebrated today.”

ChatGPT continued its stirring speech to get me out of my lazy funk by supplying me with a wealth of tips centered on three central themes: Why I need to get to the gym right now, what happens when I skip the gym, and the main challenge I need to overcome. The following list of quotables hit the nail on the nail on the head for the Simmons fan in me:

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Your body deserves kindness: Working out isn’t punishment. It’s self-love in motion. When you move your body you are telling yourself, “I matter. My health matters.” That’s powerfulThe couch gets louder: Let’s be honest, darling. When you skip once, the couch whispers tomorrow too: “Stay here again.” And before you know it, a habit starts formingAnd remember what Richard Simmons always believed: “Taking care of yourself is one of the most beautiful things you can do.” Now go move that amazing body of yours! I’ll be cheering for you the whole way

With all that in mind, I got the inspiration needed to get off my couch and step onto a treadmill. But before I put on my gym clothes, I wanted to try this coach prompt with ChatGPT one more time with a different workout personality…

Billy Blanks? Picture a super-fit, bald, black dude doing infomercials for “Tae Bo,” a fitness system created by the man himself. Instead of telling ChatGPT to just act like your average coach, I was compelled to give it more of a personality and see if it’d hype me up to the point where I’d want to start hitting some weights.

I gave ChatGPT this prompt and then…magic ensued: “I’m not all that inspired to go to the gym today. Act like the fitness personality Billy Blanks. Your job is to help me stop procrastinating and take immediate action on my gym workout. Give me the reasons why I should accomplish my gym workout, and the negative effects of avoiding my gym workout.”

ChatGPT went from a docile chatbot to an overly excited one in an instant. Its beginning statement got right to the point: “Alright! Listen up! This is Billy Blanks’ energy coming your way! I’m not here to whisper motivation — I’m here to wake up the warrior in you. First thing you need to understand: your body wants to move — your mind is just negotiating. And we don’t negotiate with excuses!”

To follow that hype-inducing proclamation up, ChatGPT’s Billy Banks impersonation gave me a bunch of great quotables to live by based on the same three themes featured in the Simmons segment. Here are a few of the quotes that had me ready to run through a wall:

Every workout builds the best version of you: you don’t get strong by thinking about workouts. You get strong by doing them. Every rep, every step, every drop of sweat says I refuse to stay the sameExcuses get stronger: the more you listen to that voice saying “not today”, the louder it gets tomorrow. Before you know it, one skipped day becomes a weekLet me leave you with the spirit of Billy Blanks: your body can do it. Your mind just needs to catch up

After reading all that, I was ready to tape up my fists, shave my head completely bald, and star throwing some shadow punches/knees in the gym.

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