I love my job in health care. But one part of it is very lonely.

Good Job is Slate’s advice column on work. Have a workplace problem big or small? Send it to Laura Helmuth and Doree Shafrir here. (It’s anonymous!)

Dear Good Job,

I can’t figure out how to connect with my co-workers, which is ironic since I am a behavioral health provider. I’m located with doctors who refer patients to me for counseling. I love the work! The doctors like and respect my work! Clients say I’m helpful! When I do interact with doctors and other staff, they are friendly and I can always reach them via email or Teams. There are several people on staff who I think could become great work friends.

But … when I was new, I received a company orientation but none on our physical worksite (like where/how to order supplies, when the morning “huddle” is, not even where the doctor’s offices are located, and this information isn’t on the intranet). I’m the only one in my discipline in the building, and I meet virtually with my peers twice a month, but that’s not the same.

I’ve asked several times to be included in the monthly provider meeting at my site (my peers attend at their sites) and was invited exactly once in two years. Complicating things is my mobility impairment, so I can’t easily stroll down the hall and hope for a chance meeting. Everyone is super busy because it’s health care, and most people (including me) don’t have a set lunch or break time. I really like this job, but I’m lonely as talking to clients isn’t social. Suggestions?

—Talk All Day, Still Lonely

Dear Talk All Day, Still Lonely,

Thank you for asking about this. A lot of people feel lonely in a crowd while at work. A stressful, over-scheduled work environment makes it even harder to connect. Let’s start with the meeting, since that’s a way to schedule a regular social (or social-ish) interaction. There might be a simple fix. If the meeting is organized as an invitation on people’s work calendars, ask whoever runs the meeting to forward you the standing invite. The invitation you got just once might have inadvertently been for a single rather than recurring meeting. If it’s not a calendar invite, someone must have a group email they use to send out reminders or the schedule. Ask to be added to it. If “everybody knows” when and where the meeting is held, just start showing up without a formal invitation. I doubt anyone is intentionally excluding you; they’re just not thinking about you, because as you say, it’s health care.

You mention Teams, which you can use (or Slack or other internal chat programs) for a different type of conversation. Can you start a shared non-work channel? Invite people to join a discussion group on books, movies, cooking, travel, or whatever you enjoy in your free time. Keep it light and voluntary, a place for people to pop in to share a photo or joke.

Can you make room in your schedule for a weekly drop-in hour? Offer to provide snacks or tea for people who come by your office to chat or just exhale and shake out some of the stress of the day. Frame the invitation in terms of health and science, using language that will resonate with them: Taking a break is good for you. Talking with other people as people (not as patients, bosses, or trainees) is good for you. Bring in fidget toys, a candy jar, interesting art or humor books, or other office decorations that will make people feel welcome to stop by. You might not get many takers at first (just ask a college professor about what their office hours look like when it’s not finals week), but you just might be able to establish a friendly new practice at work.

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Dear Good Job,

I joined my company a little over four years ago, and at the time, I was too awkward to really get to know a lot of my colleagues. I didn’t make many overtures to get lunches or coffees or really make that many strides to get to know people outside of my immediate team. And now I regret it! I watch new people start on these welcome tours, where they make it a point to meet everyone, including me, and I wish I had done that. Would it be strange to retroactively ask co-workers for chats even though it’s been so long? What would I even talk to them about if I do? I feel like I’ve held myself back professionally by not mingling, and also socially, since some of these people are actually really cool!

—Regrets

Dear Regrets,

It is absolutely not too late. The fact that your company encourages welcome tours for new hires is a good sign—your workplace culture seems to support people getting to know one another. It won’t be weird or surprising for you to contact your peers and invite them to get together for lunch, coffee, or a walk and talk break. (I love walk and talk breaks.) If there’s some occasion you could use as an excuse, great: “I just finished a big project, looked around, and realized I don’t know as much as I’d like to about how your team works. Could we catch up sometime?” But you don’t need to have a particular reason. You can invite someone with a bit of low-key flattery: “You have such an interesting approach to your job [or workplace decorations, comments in meetings, building a team, whatever] and I’d enjoy chatting sometime.”

It’s tempting to focus on people who have more social capital and workplace friends than you do, but also consider what you can offer to those new people who are coming through. They may be overwhelmed by all the new acronyms, names, software systems, and other confusing bits of a new job. Offer to translate company culture for them, especially if they have questions they’d rather not ask a boss or direct report. It can be awkward for new people (as you know) to build relationships and find their place in the new job. You can be the cool, experienced person who makes them feel welcome and included.

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Dear Good Job,

I’ve wanted to be a nurse for a while, but I didn’t know what the job would truly entail. Now that I’ve been in nursing school, I have developed depression and sometimes wish something terrible would happen so I wouldn’t have to continue in the profession. I’m not sure if I’m just being dramatic and lazy, or if this is something I really need to seriously consider redirecting my whole life trajectory over. I’ve done well grades-wise, so a part of me believes I could do it, but I’m not sure if this would ruin my mental health even more or if it would give me more confidence in myself. I’m completely lost and very indecisive, as switching my major would be a huge commitment, and I would feel like a disappointment.

—Nursing Woes

Dear Nursing Woes,

Switching majors does not make you a disappointment. Let’s start with that. Lots of people enter college or professional school with a vision of what their career should be, then learn more about what the job is actually like and change their minds. There’s no shame in it. Education is all about testing your assumptions, seeking new information, and building a better understanding of yourself and the world, right? Good for you for asking questions about your future rather than just sticking to your past self’s plan.

Before you make any decisions, though, are you getting treated for depression? If not, please seek help. Your school should offer mental healthcare for students, and can refer you to a professional on campus or elsewhere. You mention wishing “something terrible would happen,” which doesn’t sound like just a stray thought and should be taken seriously. Having a health condition doesn’t make you dramatic or lazy. And treating your depression will make it less daunting to make decisions.

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When you’re ready to plan the next steps in your education and career, think about what drew you to nursing. Was it helping people? Developing expertise? Solving problems? And think about what you’ve learned about the profession that you don’t like. You can use these insights to help you evaluate other potential careers. The health, science, and math classes you’ve taken so far should transfer to other majors, and many people with nursing backgrounds have switched to adjacent careers. If you’re not quite ready to jump off the nursing track, talk to a professor or counselor at your school about your concerns—they’ve heard it all before—and see if they can help identify a specialty within nursing that suits you. But this is also a good time to explore something completely different. Would you want to major in geology, finance, or history? Slate ran a fun series a decade ago (it holds up well) recommending classes you should take in college, and readers sent in their own thoughtful suggestions. You might not find your career in this series, but it might help you think more broadly about education and your future.

—Laura

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