Photo-Illustration: Vulture; Photos: Everett Collection (Netflix, Murray Close/Universal Studios, Warner Bros.), National Geographic Channel, Duolingo, CBS, HBO Max, Retailer, Vivien Killilea/Getty Images
As The Comeback’s Billy Stanton, Valerie Cherish’s Thom Browne-wearing publicist turned manager and producing partner, Dan Bucatinsky is being more than a bit meta. In real life, he’s been writing and creating with Lisa Kudrow for decades, with the two coming together to executive produce all three iterations of The Comeback as well as the digital series Web Therapy.
But while Billy is a sub-par publicist, only managing to land his very un-zen client the cover of Be Yoga, Bucatinsky is a grade-A actor. He’s made memorable meals out of single episodes of shows like Grey’s Anatomy, Weeds, and Grace & Frankie, and he became a fan favorite recurring character as Scandal’s James Novak, a role that landed him the “outstanding guest actor in a drama series” Emmy.
But as the cliche goes, it’s clear the role that’s closest to Bucatinsky’s heart is that of dad to his two grown kids, Eliza and Jonah, whom he shares with his husband, film and TV writer Don Roos.
“The Comeback is particularly meaningful to me [as a dad] because my daughter was born while we were shooting the first season [that premiered in 2005],” Bucatinsky says. “I remember specifically walking into the house that we were shooting at in Brentwood, which was supposed to be Valerie’s house, and I had my daughter in a car carrier. This season, I don’t think they visited me once. They’re not impressed with any of it anymore, except maybe the free Butterfingers at the craft table.”
Things have really changed now that my kids are grown ups. When they were little, we watched all kinds of really fun kids animated shows and movies but now, my [18-year-old] son is six-foot-three, military obsessed, and loves to play video games.
Last night, at one o’clock in the morning, I was in bed and I heard “thunk, thunk, thunk.” I go outside and my son is out there doing target practice with his bow and arrow. He’s such a different kid than I was when I was his age. I was putting on tap shoes and teaching myself the single-time step.
Over the last few years, we have become a family with interests that are so diverse. My daughter is into certain things, and my son is into certain things, and my husband and I have different tastes. And so common ground has become the goal of everything. And during COVID, we found that common ground when we started playing this board game that we have become obsessed with called Ticket To Ride.
It’s about building a railway that links across the country. During COVID, we all got into it and played it every single night.
Photo: Netflix/Everett Collection
One of the only shows we all watch together is Is It Cake?. You know, I’m an actor and my kids aren’t big watchers of anything I’m in, which is kind of refreshing. Like, I did 30 episodes of Scandal and my kids haven’t seen one of them. They couldn’t care less. But if I was a judge on Is It Cake?, I guarantee you that they would see it.
Photo: HBO Max
We’re a big dog rescue family. We’ve got three dogs, and my daughter has a bird, so another show that we watch is The Dog House, which is on HBO Max.
Oh, my God. The Dog House is this British show that’s done five seasons, maybe six, and they chronicle very different sets of families. They all show up at this beautiful dog rescue in the countryside of England, and [the show] pairs families with rescue dogs. So you come to know the people who work at the rescue and you come to understand the story of the family and why they’re looking to bring a dog into the family, which is often very heartwarming.
The dogs they pick don’t always match with the families—sometimes they do, sometimes they don’t—but the show is amazing.
Photo: National Geographic Channel
This one isn’t my choice, but my kids can be dictators with the TV: Wicked Tuna.
If you’ve never seen it, it’s so addicting, realizing that these guys are trying to find a tuna and land the ones that are going to bring them the most money. It’s like the weirdest game show you’ve ever watched. You end up learning all kinds of stuff, too, like what makes a really good grade of tuna or how the winds and tides affect fishing.
Photo: Murray Close/Universal/Everett Collection
My kids have this obsession with watching the same movie over and over and over again. It’s fascinating. I don’t remember being like that — though I used to watch I Dream of Jeannie and I would get through every season over and over and over again so maybe I’m a hypocrite, but my kids can watch the three Avatar movies over and over again.
We’ve watched them a million times as a family over the last bunch of years. It’s the same with all the Jurassic movies. Those are a big win for our family. They’re horrifying, though. My husband cannot watch anything that’s gross so he watches the movies with his hands over his eyes or through his phone, which apparently doesn’t scare him as much somehow.
In the last year, we’ve all started playing chess. I’ve never played before but now, for some reason, in addition to languages Duolingo can also teach you how to play chess.
So Don’s obsessed with Duolingo and my daughter can beat the crap out of all of us at real chess now. It’s something that’s able to bond us together and remind us that we’re a family and we can still have fun together.
The musical tastes of my daughter are nothing like the musical tastes of my son so we can’t ever really agree on what music to play. She’s obsessed with Billie Eilish and Pink, and Jonah is the most eclectic music listener I have ever met. He loves Alex Warren and John Denver and country music, but he also loves listening to Russian military fight songs. So his playlist is the craziest thing you’ve ever heard, but I let him blast his music in the car because, again, bonding.
I don’t really know how my son got into the military. When he was little, he always liked playing with Nerf guns and video games and then that turned into military video games. My kids also are adopted, and it was an open adoption so we know their birth mom very well. We go to Wisconsin every couple of years to visit with her and I think a big part of [my son’s] growing into his adolescence was embracing what he knew about his mom, which is that she had spent a little bit of time in the military. I think he sort of liked having that connection and it became an appealing thing to him.
He even went to the Army-Navy Academy, which is a boarding school in Carlsbad. His choice! I wanted him to go to the Julie Andrews School of jazz, tap and ballet.
My daughter has her own way of finding her interests. She plays a lot of video games and does a lot of crafting and cooking and baking. And sometimes her interests intersect with mine, like she and I both like to cook so every once in a while, we are able to meet in the kitchen and do something really fun.
I took her to Rome this year when Don was writing on Emily in Paris, and we took a pasta making class together. It was honestly so moving to me just to be in that kitchen making something with my daughter, who was 20, because that’s when they’re really getting to be their own human beings. I mean, they have been since they were born, but now it’s really, really showing itself so finding these points of connection has become more and more important.
Photo: Warner Bros./Everett Collection
My daughter watches Friends not having any real connection to the fact that that was a show about people in their 20s that was [originally] on at night once a week. “Must see TV.” She just binges, binges, binges, binges, binges episodes and it’s interesting, because it’s like the show is almost ageless. With Friends, it doesn’t matter who you are or how old you are. It’s always comforting to watch Friends, which is why it’s lasted as long as it has.
And, listen, Lisa Kudrow has been one of my best friends for 30 years and she’s like family to me. My kids call her “Aunt Lisa” and they love seeing her on television. I even told my daughter that The Comeback is coming out in March and now she’s all about catching up, like watching season one and two so she can know the story in time for season three.
Sign up for the Vulture Daily
An entertainment newsletter for the pop-culture obsessed.
Vox Media, LLC Terms and Privacy Notice